Have you ever attended to a 'besoin naturel' while on the bike?

lukester

Well, have you, or ever tried to, with the bike in motion? How did it go? What was your technique?

I'm thinking more of pipi than caca. (Kudos if you've done number 2 (sic) though.)

Besoin naturel (n)A natural need. Otherwise known as a mid-race call of nature. As ever on such occasions, complicated rules of etiquette apply. It is considered bad form for a rider to launch an attack or to seek an advantage from a besoin.

niceonetom

No, but it is an ambition of mine.

High stakes though.
Get it right: feel PRO.
Get it wrong: end up in a ditch, bleeding and covered in piss.

lukester

niceonetom wrote: »

Get it wrong: end up in a ditch, bleeding and covered in piss.

With road rash on your c*ck. High stakes indeed- I'll take those odds.

Gingersnaps

You need to pick a quiet stretch of road where you will be freewheeling for a while. The hard part is trying to 'let your bladder go'. I wasn't successful the first time I tried. It's a kinda stagestruck type of thing. Once you do it once it's easy from then on. Just make sure to drop back to the back of the pack if cycling with a group.
Never tried the no.2 scenario myself. It's a very funny image though. You'd definitely want to be at the back of the group. Lol!

manwithaplan

Gingersnaps wrote: »

Never tried the no.2 scenario myself. It's a very funny image though. You'd definitely want to be at the back of the group.

You could do it "Pantani descent position" style. Not sure if a mudguard would make the experience better or worse.

dario28

I read some of the pros hold their team mates bike still while the other lets rip

have a google for the tri-chick who went for a no 2 and then posted about it thinkin it was the norm

uberwolf

Story from a Ras many moons ago. Polish lad in yellow. Dicky belly. With a team mate holding the seat post he delivered a number two with the consistency of a number one. Teammate them used his own glove to tidy the situation up a little before the yellow resumed his position to the fore of the bunch.

mloc123

Only on the turbo for me...

levitronix

Coming down one of the decentes at ironman france, made more sense to go on the downhill rather than stop, just peed threw my gear standing up .. job done !

doozerie

uberwolf wrote:

Story from a Ras many moons ago. Polish lad in yellow. Dicky belly. With a team mate holding the seat post he delivered a number two with the consistency of a number one. Teammate them used his own glove to tidy the situation up a little before the yellow resumed his position to the fore of the bunch.

Perhaps he had a dicky translator too. "Taking one for the team" could so easily be translated to "Taking a 2 with the team" in Polish.

victorcarrera

If driving on the left.
Wait for suitable wind direction and gradual downhill stretch.
Check for traffic.
Get out of saddle, straighten left leg and lock right knee/thigh against top tube.
Twist hip to the left.
Use the (over hand grip for the execution phase) it's tidier.
Safety notice: Don't let the elastic slip.
Much easier with non bib shorts/tights.
Doesn't work well or at all in cold conditions.

markdrayton

I use the same technique as victorcarrera, though I prefer voiding to the right. Your bibs (and you're wearing bibs, right? anyone pro enough to pee from a moving bike is surely wearing bibs) need enough give to pull down far enough. Good overhand grip tip.

kumate_champ07

if its a hot summers day and youre on your own wouldnt it dry up pretty quickly? prob ok if you were wearing black..

Dord

Jaysus, you're all mad! :eek:

chakattack

kumate_champ07 wrote: »

if its a hot summers day and youre on your own wouldnt it dry up pretty quickly? prob ok if you were wearing black..

If you're talking about just going.....been tempted but wouldn't lower myself to that especially on my own. Maybe if I was in a winning solo breakaway (day dreaming.......) but I'm sure the adrenaline would quell the urge.

Icyseanfitz

Dord wrote: »

Jaysus, you're all mad! :eek:

i was thinking the same :eek: taking a leak while cycling haha ive heard it all now

Jumpy

If I couldnt piss while swimming 50m from a boat in cloudy 25 degree water in the Caribbean, theres no way I could piss in my gear.

uberwolf

I was so impressed watching a video of the 1974 Giro recently, and having raided a store en route, the lads used their stems as bottle openers. Not a bother.

Jumpy

uberwolf wrote: »

I was so impressed watching a video of the 1974 Giro recently, and having raided a store en route, the lads used their stems as bottle openers. Not a bother.

Please tell me we are not still talking about penises.

Esroh

Icyseanfitz wrote: »

i was thinking the same :eek: taking a leak while cycling haha ive heard it all now

One of my Clubmates tell a story of how SHE left Sean Kelly for dead on the road.
Suddenly found herself as the only 1 of 50 people holding King Seans wheel on one of his Mayo Weekend spins. Wondering why he was standing up on his pedals and had a rider holding him steady she moved closer. The sudden shower which only seemed to hit her at bar height let her know all she needed.:D
As one would she proceeded to pass the King at Speed

Jumpy

Esroh wrote: »

One of my Clubmates tell a story of how SHE left Sean Kelly for dead on the road.
Suddenly found herself as the only 1 of 50 people holding King Seans wheel on one of his Mayo Weekend spins. Wondering why he was standing up on his pedals and had a rider holding him steady she moved closer. The sudden shower which only seemed to hit her at bar height let her know all she needed.:D
As one would she proceeded to pass the King at Speed

Thats what you get for passing on the inside.

Icyseanfitz

Esroh wrote: »

One of my Clubmates tell a story of how SHE left Sean Kelly for dead on the road.
Suddenly found herself as the only 1 of 50 people holding King Seans wheel on one of his Mayo Weekend spins. Wondering why he was standing up on his pedals and had a rider holding him steady she moved closer. The sudden shower which only seemed to hit her at bar height let her know all she needed.:D
As one would she proceeded to pass the King at Speed

brilliant haha if that was me though i would have been fairly pissed

fat bloke

Is there an accepted or recommended method for this? - Do you roll up the leg of your shorts and ... shtick the fat lad out the side, or do you try and come... over the top, so to speak - hard enough to do that at the side of the road with bib shorts!

Jumpy

fat bloke wrote: »

Is there an accepted or recommended method for this? - Do you roll up the leg of your shorts and ... shtick the fat lad out the side, or do you try and come... over the top, so to speak - hard enough to do that at the side of the road with bib shorts!

Have you ever seen a squashed lizard?

Thats what "little fat bloke" would look like if you tried the former in compression shorts.

fat bloke

Jumpy wrote: »

Have you ever seen a squashed lizard?

Thats what "little fat bloke" would look like if you tried the former in compression shorts.

Well you'd imagine compression shorts would keep the ol bladder under control to begin with!

cantalach

Jumpy wrote: »

If I couldnt piss while swimming 50m from a boat in cloudy 25 degree water in the Caribbean, theres no way I could piss in my gear.

And lucky for you that you didn't as sharks are thought to home in on that, taking it as a sign of distressed prey.

Jumpy

cantalach wrote: »

And lucky for you that you didn't as sharks are thought to home in on that, taking it as a sign of distressed prey.

Damn right I was distressed. I had to wait for the boat to get back to the cruise ship before I could piss.

Mint Sauce

I'm nearly peeing my self reading this.

Find it hard enough to get out of the bibs in a hurry at the end of a spin to pee, let alone try it in motion, imagine if the wind changed slightly.

Jumpy

Gingersnaps wrote: »

The hard part is trying to 'let your bladder go'. I wasn't successful the first time I tried. It's a kinda stagestruck type of thing.

So let me get this straight.

You cycled past a load of people just holding your willy.

"Thats the way it happened yer honor"

Chips Lovell

Lol. The tags on this thread are gas.

bcmf

el tonto wrote: »

Lol. The tags on this thread are gas.

saddle streaks

GTDolanator

unless your riding pro doing races etc i find it sick and ridiculus,just stop the bike and take a leak for gods sake

doozerie

GTDolanator wrote: »

unless your riding pro doing races etc i find it sick and ridiculus,just stop the bike and take a leak for gods sake

Sod that, if I had "the knack" I'd use it every time. On the cold ride that this morning was, where I seemed to have inherited the bladder of a horse and the "holding in" ability of an excitable puppy, it would have saved me having to chase back on to the group more than once. Plus I could have followed my own soggy trail home if I got dropped on roads I wasn't familiar with.

I'd even feel compelled to do it on my commute, just to show off like. Though the risk of a mishap in traffic is high and arriving in work with my shoes smelling of wee might be frowned upon.

the_syco

Dord wrote: »

Jaysus, you're all mad! :eek:

I think they're all just taking the piss, tbh :pac:

irish-stew wrote: »

Find it hard enough to get out of the bibs in a hurry at the end of a spin to pee, let alone try it in motion, imagine if the wind changed slightly.

If the wind changed slightly, while you're standing up, and not fully aware of the lack of balance, pissing yourself would be the least of your worries :eek: