What Does Your New Starsign mean for you...

stevoslice

Lulz..

Find Out Here
Your New Star Sign
I am now a virgo uh-oh

You old star sign was Libra

You new star sign is Virgo

What does this mean?

Well, the first thing this means is that you're not the person you thought you were. You're going to have to completely change your personality and habits to fit in with your new astrologicaly mandated sign.

As a Libra you were dishonest. Never take your eyes off a Libra - they'll steal anything that isn't nailed down

As a Virgo you will be required to be good at juggling. Virgo are at their best in the rain.

Alternatively...

Bad things happen to good people every day, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with what day of the year anyone was born on. Astrology is lies made up by people who want to take money from the gullible, and the best that can be said about them is that they may not be doing so maliciously.

In case you're wondering how I know this: I used to write horoscopes. I made them all up. Every last one. And so does everyone else that writes them. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. They may be lying to themselves, and they may have some sort of elaborate system they use to make them up, but they are still making them up.

Sweet.
I'm now an Ophiuchsian.

Now to learn how to pronounce it.

Beruthiel

As a Capricorn you were up to something. We can all see you, with your shifty little eyes.

As a Sagittarius you will be required to be full-bellied, with a tendency to flatulence. Sagittarius make poor lovers, as they have a fetish for newts.

Hhrrmmmm.
The things one can do with a newt....

Bloody Nipples

Ah man I was all ready to go with a vitriol filled rant on astrology but then I clicked the link.

seamus

As an Aries you were fond of pies. Aries people make excellent tennis umpires.

As a Pisces you will be required to be curiously shaped. Pisces are made out of blancmange.

I'll admit I was fond of pies alright.

I'm not ashamed to admit I had to Google blancmange. Sounds tasty.

Busi_Girl08

I'm the same as the OP. Time to learn juggling, in the rain.

housetypeb

You old star sign was Scorpio
You new star sign is Scorpio
What does this mean?

Well, the first thing this means is that you're not the person you thought you were. You're going to have to completely change your personality and habits to fit in with your new astrologicaly mandated sign.
As a Scorpio you were made out of turnips. Scorpio are only truly awake on Tuesdays.
As a Scorpio you will be required to be made out of turnips. Scorpio are only truly awake on Tuesdays.

Ha Ha, I dont have to change my beliefs, Scorpio is obviously the one true sign ,I find that I have a good relationship with Scorpio and will be Saved by him if i just believe in him and does what he wants me to do.
The rest of you are wrong to believe in your makey up signs that change over time, if you would all believe in Scorpio the world would be a much better place,I will beseech Scorpio to show you the error of your ways before its too late, HE is kind but his wrath is terrible to behold.
Any way, i'm off to bed -wake me on tuesday so that we may worship Scorpio together, as it is written so shall it be.
Then again,I'm a turnip,what would i know.

Malari

Turns out I've been following the wrong advice for all these years. I am now and have always been a Sagittarius, apparently, and not a Capricorn! I KNEW I wouldn't make a very good goat...

Rev Hellfire

You old star sign was Cancer
You new star sign is Cancer

As a Cancer you were good at BMX tricks. Cancer people are often boring.
As a Cancer you will be required to be good at BMX tricks. Cancer people are often boring.

Woot still good at bmx tricks!

Pushtrak

As a Leo you were not very bright. Leo compensate for their lack of intelligence with poor people skills.

As a Leo you will be required to be not very bright. Leo compensate for their lack of intelligence with poor people skills.

Damn it, they are on to me.

Zombrex

Many people in the astrology community are confused

I stopped reading after that point :pac:

(yes I know it is a satire )

Shenshen

Well, I certainly had a giggle :

You old star sign was Leo

You new star sign is Leo
What does this mean?

Well, the first thing this means is that you're not the person you thought you were. You're going to have to completely change your personality and habits to fit in with your new astrologicaly mandated sign.

As a Leo you were not very bright. Leo compensate for their lack of intelligence with poor people skills.

As a Leo you will be required to be not very bright. Leo compensate for their lack of intelligence with poor people skills.

Galvasean

I like being able to not know what my starsign is now. If anyone asks me what starsign I am aI can genuinely answer "I don't know". if they try to be smart and ask what my old one was I'll claim I can't remember. then when they ask what month I was born in I'll say "mexico".

Plowman

This post has been deleted.

Malari

Malari wrote: »

Turns out I've been following the wrong advice for all these years. I am now and have always been a Sagittarius, apparently, and not a Capricorn! I KNEW I wouldn't make a very good goat...

And for another laugh I thought I'd check on The Onion horoscopes for a laugh:

Sagittarius Just keep repeating: No matter what, you are still a Sagittarius. You are still a Sagittarius. You are still a Sagittarius.
Capricorn Faith is the evidence of things not seen, which any well-rounded human being must admit is better than only trusting good hard provable evidence
Spooky!!!

Stercus Accidit

Star signs are a great way to measure your compatibility with another person though.

If they ask what star sign I am, I know that we an incompatible as I don't get on well with gobsh*tes.

sickle

oh noes

What does this mean?

Well, the first thing this means is that you're not the person you thought you were. You're going to have to completely change your personality and habits to fit in with your new astrologicaly mandated sign.

As an Aquarius you were hopping mad. Aquarius people make good accountants.

As a Capricorn you will be required to be up to something. We can all see you, with your shifty little eyes.

mehfesto

Two of the Full Time women I work with gave said nothing on the subject yet. They're mad into it though. Won't read their own one aloud etc., because it's bad luck. One of the women doesn't even like one of the new part-timers because of his star-sign. She has hardly ever talk to him.

I honestly don't know how they've taken it - imagine it though, believing it as fact only to be told, hang on - the stuff you've been reading for the last ten years has been bollix. You were actually supposed to be reading the other box. to the tight of it.

LOL

Merrick

As a Taurus you were non-human. Tarus people are all descended from the Dogon.

As an Aries you will be required to be fond of pies. Aries people make excellent tennis umpires.

But I don't wanna be human, or like tennis. :mad:

stevoslice

Merrick wrote: »

But I don't wanna be human, or like tennis. :mad:

too bad for you, but that's fate... man.

Dev 17

I used to be the best - Cancer. Now I'm ****ing Gemini. How **** is that?

Feels awful to get downgraded by something you don't believe in. I want my cool crab back.

Dades

Dev 17 wrote: »

I used to be the best - Cancer. Now I'm ****ing Gemini. How **** is that?

Feels awful to get downgraded by something you don't believe in. I want my cool crab back.

Suck it up.

Both of you. :pac:

RHRN

EDIT:

So not exactly true, there's all sorts of astrologies so whether it changes only depends on which lovely pseudoscience we all subscribe to!

biko

You old star sign was Virgo
You new star sign is Leo

It all makes sense now.

Ickle Magoo

As an Aquarius you were hopping mad. Aquarius people make good accountants.

As a Capricorn you will be required to be up to something. We can all see you, with your shifty little eyes.

Hopping mad? How dare they!

bluemalibu

RHRN wrote: »

EDIT:

So not exactly true, there's all sorts of astrologies so whether it changes only depends on which lovely pseudoscience we all subscribe to!

I know, right? They should have known that changing the star signs would cause mass hysterial all over the world! I can feel my personality changing as we speak...

pH

In today's news - Bombay High Court declares that astrology is a science

"The court had in 2004 also directed the universities to consider if astrology science can be added to the syllabus."

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Astrology-is-a-science-Bombay-HC/articleshow/7418795.cms#ixzz1CvBx6WxX

stevoslice

pH wrote: »

In today's news - Bombay High Court declares that astrology is a science

"The court had in 2004 also directed the universities to consider if astrology science can be added to the syllabus."

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Astrology-is-a-science-Bombay-HC/articleshow/7418795.cms#ixzz1CvBx6WxX

whatdoicare

It says I used to be an Aries...but I was Taurus....fail!