Horrible feeling inside over her

LegacyUser

Broke up nearly 3 years ago. Cant seem to meet anyone. Im 34. Think about the ex every minute. Tried to contact her 6 months ago on facebook and she wouldnt talk to me but just put up a picture of her with her new boyfriend. It was me that dumped her, maybe this was out of spite for me. She thinks I am an ego maniac. I feel Ive changed.
Anyway, everytime I think of her these days I feel close to vomiting, nauseous. I really want to contact her and make things right, but the thought of her with him makes me feel sick..its just a horrible feeling that everything is ruined, wrecked, dirtied, irreparable. Really feel ****ing terrible. Shes no doubt moved on and Im just a desperate jealous ex who compares every new interest to her..and to be honest give up on any girl before anything starts. Someone please give me some advice..it makes me very low sometimes.

LegacyUser

Horrible cliched I know but there are more fish in the sea. There really is. There are probably quite a few women out there who you might think are the 'perfect' girlfriend, but you are just not giving them a chance.

I don't think it was vindictive for your ex to post a picture with her new boyfriend, a subtle hint maybe. But so what? She's moved on, you... haven't.

Keep dating, chalk it up to a bad decision maybe, a decision you'll live with and eventually forget about. Most importantly, give new interests the attention they deserve...

ManOfMystery

I'm not sure what advice anyone can give you here apart from the obvious, and I'm sure you know deep inside what you have to do : move on.

You dumped your ex. And by her description of you as an egomaniac, I assume you didn't give her the love & attention she should have got?
She has moved on with her life, and for you to suddenly contact her on Facebook was probably a bolt out of the blue for her. And probably a bit unfair.

Unfortunately, none of us have a time machine and you can't go round expecting that you'll magically fix everything and sort out things with your ex. You may say you're a different person now from 3 years ago, but to be honest, I think you still have some way to go - you're jealous of your ex's new boyfriend, you feel resentful of the relationship they have and which you don't, and you can't seem to let go of her. And you contact her on Facebook - after dumping her - with some expectation that she'll want to speak to you, which sounds slightly egotistical to me. If you truly had changed and were thinking only of her, you'd want her to be happy, and would have left her alone to be content with her new boyfriend. Any attempt to contact her is to alleviate some of the guilt and negative feelings which you are having - not her.

What's the best outcome you could hope for her? She dumps her boyfriend and comes running back to you? You get together, have a few weeks of glorious fun and pleasure together, and then suddenly these insecurities you have now manifest again and you start thinking about her and her boyfriend and what they got up to in the 3 years you were apart ..................... see where I'm going here?

Accept things are over, done. Whatever mistakes you made can't be changed, however you can learn from them and learn not to make them again in your next relationship. And if you meet girls - enjoy them for who they are, not how they compare to your ex. The fact that they're different is the whole point of it - what didn't work between you and your ex, may work between you and someone else.

Beruthiel

feelmessedup333 wrote: »

Someone please give me some advice.

Let her go. Leave her be, stop regretting (it's a dead emotion that gets you no where and will only melt your head)
Accept that you took the decision to finish with her. Now live with that decision and move on. She clearly has.
It is not healthy to be still thinking of her and 'what if' three years on.
You cannot change the past, start from today and look forward.