chronic paranoia/anxiety

yousocrazy5

ok I just wanna say that I am not a shy or quiet person, I love to go out and be around people, I'm very talkative and love to travel.


so I have just recently come to realize that I have chronic paranoia, which is actually a real mental condition, I have always had anxiety through my life and just a few years ago developed the paranoia part of it and its just gotten progressively worse. I have no clue where it came from but it could be a number of things. So first my anxiety: I have no way of controlling it and it just takes over my whole body, my heart starts racing out of control and I feel like I'm going to throw up, I'm use to it by now so I ignore it most of the time. It usually happens right before Im about to go somewhere or do something or see somebody it comes and sometimes for no reason at all and then I start freaking out because I'm freaking out over nothing!

And then theres the paranoia, now this mostly happens at night when I'm going to go to sleep,I travel alot so the paranoia is different in every environment that I'm in, every night is different sometimes its bad sometimes I can get through it pretty quick and just go to sleep.
so I'll go into the room I'm staying in (usually changes every few months but I'm awalys staying with friends or family) to go to bed and it slowly starts I start hearing things and thinking someone is in the house or outside my window or trying to break in..which I know is not happening..I am fully aware that nothing is there but for some reason my mind wants to convince me otherwise so then I start freaking out, my mind goes nuts with sounds and mentally created people trying to break in and kill me, its like watching a horror movie that I cant stop, I just wanna tell my mind to shut up! I'll walk arounf the house turning on lights, checking rooms I'll watch tv for a while to occupy my mind but sometimes I cant escape it and my mind will just exhaust itself and I'll fall asleep, I absolutely have to sleep with a fan on, sometimes the tv or music playing. My last realationship suffered alot from this, I would always wake my boyfriend up in the middle of the night for him to "go check" he insisted there was no one there and I knew there wasnt but I just had to do it. I constantly checked the locks on the door, and even if I knew there was no way someone could get in the house or apartment or whatever I was staying in, I would think of ways they could get in. Its the most annoying thing, I get so frustrated with my self sometimes because I know its all in my head! its not a legitimate fear.

Along with the anxiety and paranoia comes depression(which runs in my family but I try to ignore it because I have no reason to be depressed)
the depression comes in waves, some days I just dont want to do anything at all and it sucks, I just get really down and nothing sounds fun, I lose my appetite and I start thinking about the meaning of life and whats the point of living and I just dont want to do this anymore blah blah blah..I am not suicidal, I would NEVER harm myself..thats just where my mind goes though. I'm not sure what triggers it but I try and ne optimistic and think about my future goals and things I'm looking forward to to make it go away.


if you have any comments/questions or just wanna share go right ahead
I'd like to hope I'm not alone in this.....not that I'd ever wish this upon anyone..lol

Jaydawg

I feel the same, lately I have been having these serious thoughts and feelings of paranoia. Feeling as if some of my best friends are conspiring against me. The paranoia I am fearing is that everyone is against me and out to get me, I feel as if there all in on some plot against me and talking about me behind my back, these feelings are relentless and I drag every aspect of my life into these thoughts.Sometimes when Im going to sleep I feel they have cameras in the room watching me(Shared accommodation)Its slowly killing me and more recently I have been having suicidal thoughts, I have always been a happy person and its only over the last few months this has happened and I have no idea where it has come from. I have taken drugs in the past but never over indulged, these suicidal thoughts have stemmed from nothing. I have never self harmed or any of that but I have been scared by these suicidal thoughts. I dont know what is happening inside my head and that is really frightening because im left in limbo with only these thoughts and nobody to talk to. Im embarrassed about this and i feel if i talk to my friends that they will laugh at me because of my outgoing/joker personality.Please Help...

Ickle Magoo

Jaydawg,

Suicidal thoughts and thoughts of self-harm are way outside the remit for this forum/site.

You really need to to make an appointment with your GP asap and tell them how you are feeling so you can get properly evaluated.

I'm sorry, I have to close this thread - you need to get help in the real world and leaving your thread open for amateur advice is neither allowed nor in your best interests.

All the very best. :cool: