Lollers

MonkieSocks

Due to the current financial problems surrounding a lot of football clubs
at the moment, Man U have had to release 15 members of staff from their payroll.
The 5 referees and 10 linesmen are said to be devastated....

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Elton John was changing the nappy on his new son and he turned to his husband
and said, "He reminds me so much of you David".

David says "Why, Is it because of his cheeky little smile?"

"No" says Elton.

David says "Is it his cute little nose?"

"No, It's not that." Says Elton.

David says "Then it must be the colour of his eyes".



"No" says Elton "He has got sh1t on his dick."

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A load of Kerrymen went on a mystery coach trip.

They had a sweepstake to guess where they were going.

The driver won £68.
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A bloke from Yorkshire goes into a jewellers.

He says "Can tha mek a gold statue o mi dog?"

The jeweller replies "Aye recon I can. Does tha want it eighteen carat?"

The bloke says "Nay ya daft lad, I want it chewing a bone!"

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3 couples go camping.

Men in one tent and women in the other.

1 bloke wakes up in the middle of the night and nudges his mate lying next to him.

"I'm going next door to bang my missus, I've got the biggest hard-on I've ever had."

"I'd better come with you then" his mate replies "Cos it's my cock you've got hold of!"