Am I over-reacting?

LegacyUser

Hi guys, would like your thoughts on something. By way of background, I'm a bloke, mid-twenties, have a mate who is also a bloke in his mid-twenties. All good there. Through little fault of his own, this guys has never really managed to catch a break - his parents had a messy divorce and he dropped out of secondary school, but he got around to sitting the LC via adult learning, which I think is great. He attended a couple of PLCs/Diploma courses but only lasted a couple of months in each case. Now he mostly stays in the family home and does quite a bit of drinking. He's a smart guy and we get on quite well, chat alot and hang out listening to music and that sort of thing...but I'd probably describe him as socially awkward. I guess because he stays inside pretty much all day, every day, and hasn't really ever had a job per se. I'd also consider myself one his closest friends, though I sometimes find him a little intense, and prefer him in small doeses - sorry if that sounds harsh

Anyways, here's the 'issue'. We were chatting online and he said that he was heading out for a drink with another mutual friend. I got a missed call from him on my way home from work, called him back and he seemed pretty well-on (it was about 6.30). Said he had called me by mistake, said he was having a good time, and that he'd catch up with me later.

Later that night, I'm online and I see him sign in. I say hello and he responds with something a bit nonsensical. I ask him what's going on and he responds with just "I love you". I told him he should probably reign in the drinking a bit and he starts saying that he's sorry and the he was "Out looking for love". This made me feel a bit uncomfortable so i told him to chill a bit. He said sorry and that he had to go and then said "I love you" again.

Guys, I'd consider myself a progressive guy, but the whole thing left me quite uncomfortable. Maybe it was the fact that he was in such a state, or maybe it was the sentiment expressed. Don't get me wrong, I have friends who might have a few beers on a night out, and kiss you on the cheek in a take-the-piss way...but like I said, this guy is pretty intense. I don't know, am I overreacting?

Cheap Thrills!

Maybe his mates took his phone and said 'I love you' messing.

I would bring it up with him, otherwise you will always be uncomfortable about it!

albeit

It sounds like if he had more than just drink in him, something that can make people feel an overwhelming sense of love towards a table, or something. Ask him if had something more than drink that evening, he might not even remember saying this to you.

dub_3

Maybe he just got emotional when drunk.

Likely he meant it in a 'I love you buddy' way, rather than 'I love you' Brokeback mountain way.

LegacyUser

Cheap Thrills! wrote: »

Maybe his mates took his phone and said 'I love you' messing.

I would bring it up with him, otherwise you will always be uncomfortable about it!

Thanks. Was defo him but you're right, I should probably raise it tactfully...not sure how though.

LegacyUser

albeit wrote: »

It sounds like if he had more than just drink in him, something that can make people feel an overwhelming sense of love towards a table, or something. Ask him if had something more than drink that evening, he might not even remember saying this to you.

Good point!

LegacyUser

dub_3 wrote: »

Maybe he just got emotional when drunk.

Likely he meant it in a 'I love you buddy' way, rather than 'I love you' Brokeback mountain way.

Yeah, I know what you're saying, and I know a bunch of guys who would say this on a night out. But he isn't this kind of guy and it wasn't like we had just been out on the lash together...hmmm. I dunno. Maybe I'm more put-out by his drunken nonsense. Irrational of me, I know, but all he wants to when we hang out do is drink. Maybe it's a reaction to that.

curlzy

Hey OP,

He certainly sounds unhappy! I know a few people who didn't do the LC and while it may seem like nothing to people that have a LC, it can really affect people that don't have one, it does a number on their self-esteem and self worth as stupid as that seems. Like the LC just shows how much you can memorise not how intelligent you are, that's beside the point. So it could be that between his family history and dropping out of school he could have a very low opinion of himself. Poor guy, add the socially awkward and you can understand how he came to be a drinker. My advice would be to take up a sport or hobby with him, something you think he'd enjoy and hopefully excel at, which could help his self esteem and make drink seem less important. If you're going too it would be less stressful. With regards to the "I love you", he may love you, you've been there through it all with him and he may see you as someone that's very important, I don't think it sounds like he's gay. Either way try and get him out and about more if you can.

Best of luck to you and him.