Abuse in the street

St._Andalou

Does everyone else put up with large amounts of abuse in the street from strangers? Or is this just in my head?

I think I'm just exhausted after a weird day in Dublin taking lots of abuse from knackers (sorry, there's no other word for it). I went up for an interview today. First a woman asked to use my mobile phone in the street (while I was using it myself!). I said no obviously, and she proceeded to shout that I was a c**t. Twenty minutes later two large knacker guys asked for cigarettes off me. I said no. I was called a faggót.

Then later at the bus station a junky (or at least that's the impression I got) started abusing me when I wouldn't give him a tenner for a bus. I ended up giving him some money just to go away because I was tired after travelling all day, having my interview, etc.

So this day was unusual, but am I paranoid in thinking I attract abuse? It makes me feel really shít about myself. Sometimes I think it must be because I look like a soft touch. Also I try to be a nice person so I hate abusive language (I'm aware that knacker is not polite but I could care less at this stage: I don't go around shouting it at people, and in these cases it was accurate).

calex71

Going for an interview, you probably looked all dressed up and like you had a few bob, take it as a complement. Hopefully the people doing the interview were equally impressed with your appearance!!!!!

tenchi-fan

I often wear a suit to work. I see all the scum of the day and walk right past them. If I'm asked for change I just mumble "sorry" or shake my head if I bother saying anything at all. They get the picture.

Maybe you should walk a bit quicker and avoid eye contact with them.

Little Acorn

Also walk tall and straight with your head up. Walk briskly with a look that you are confident you know exactly where you are going, and are very aware of your surroundings.
You look like an easier target if you slouch or seem to be lost or confused, or look anyways timid.
I've read this advice before for myself in a women's safety article, but I think it also applies to men.

zxcvbnm1

Hang on.. I think the above replies are nonsense..you should not be advising someone to do such basic thing as walk in a way they are unaccustomed to to avoid the wrath of knackers.

Op - I used work on George street and live in temple bar..

I don't think any one knows unless they spent as much time as I did around city centre the amount of times I used get approached every day. I couldn't strike up a fag without someone asking me for one.
It was genuinely at least a dozen time a day and that does wear you down after a while.

At the beginning I assumed tis was city living. But after a while when I got used to city living I began to realize that the city centre was way ott for bums.

They are all over the city centre. And they used to annoy the crap out of me every day knowing that any second I would be approached by yet another bum..

Hank_Jones

I generally just completely ignore them, act as if they aren't even there, they seem to get the message.

I honestly haven't given money or anything to any of these kind of people in a long long time.

Reminds me of this time I was out drinking in town and there was a guy trying to sell drugs to us as we were going to get the nitelink home, he was saying how he was going to go home to his girlfriend.
Saw the same guy sitting on Clarendon Street a few months later with a little blanket over him and a sign saying he was homeless....

I honestly don't know why someone would give money or anything to these people, I doubt they have ever done anything for anyone and how they seem to have this mentality that they are owed something by others is beyond me.

You're going to get pestered by these people, everyone does, just get on with things though, they're not your problem.

tenchi-fan

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

Hang on.. I think the above replies are nonsense..you should not be advising someone to do such basic thing as walk in a way they are unaccustomed to to avoid the wrath of knackers.

Op - I used work on George street and live in temple bar..

I don't think any one knows unless they spent as much time as I did around city centre the amount of times I used get approached every day. I couldn't strike up a fag without someone asking me for one.
It was genuinely at least a dozen time a day and that does wear you down after a while.

At the beginning I assumed tis was city living. But after a while when I got used to city living I began to realize that the city centre was way ott for bums.

They are all over the city centre. And they used to annoy the crap out of me every day knowing that any second I would be approached by yet another bum..

Honestly, I'm struggling to understand what you are advising the op to do? Walk away? Strike up a convo? Ignore them altogether.

I literally just ignore them as I'd ignore a pigeon in my path. Because as you know if you try to walk around a pigeon it will spazz out and make a big scene with feathers going everywhere.

And as for nonsense.. it's in bold (above)

albeit

Whenever I was abused in the street by strangers I always felt very shocked and sad afterwards. I expect people to be helpful and friendly, and when they are not, I take it personally. However, I realised that a lot of these people that abuse you in the street have never been treated any other way themselves, and do not know how to relate to others in a normal way. Sometimes they are genuinely insane, sometimes they are very stupid, and sometimes they are hurt and afraid people trying to survive the only way they can. As for attracting abuse, I think you might have made the mistake of making eye-contact or just looking at them, the only way I find helpful to avoid all of the above abusive people is to ignore them, blatantly.

Peanut2011

OP, times have changed and with recession you get more agressive behaviour on the street as there is less disposable income and people generally give less.

These abusive strangers target people who look soft and weak and intimidated, therefore if you had that look about yourself they will unfortunately target you.

Also, being street smart is something you learn over time. The language they use, well what can you expect?

Personally I don't have many coming up to me and I am in city every day, however when they do I ignore them.

I ended up giving him some money just to go away because I was tired after travelling all day, having my interview, etc.

Unfortunately you are not the only one that does it that way, however that encourages them to be persistent as quite often that will be the outcome.

prinz

Happens a good bit unfortunately. As a society we allow anti-social behaviour continue and get worse.

curlzy

Hey OP,

As a girl I feel intimidated by people in town sometimes when I'm by myself. I just walk tall, and with purpose. Also a good trick is to wear visable headphones, they're less likely to approach you and you don't have to actually turn them on if you want to be able to hear what's going on around you. Like someone else said posture can play a large part in who's targeted, if you're walking with your shoulders slumped and head down you'll stand out to knackers as a target. So throw your shoulders back, walk tall and keep your head up. Avoiding eye contact is also good, if someone tries to catch your eye ignore them and look past them. That's the way I get around town now with minimal shenigans from scummers.

MissFlitworth

Could be completely off the mark here but you mentioned the bus station and something clicked in my head - did a lot of this happen around Bus Aras and along Talbot Street/Marlborough Street/the general boardwalk area as you walk from Bus Aras into the city centre? If it did then it's nothing to do with you at all, it's just an area that is crawling with scumbag types (and crazy scumbag types at that - it was a good few months back now but I have walked by a lady having a poo into her hand [whilst wobbling on one crutch] outside supervalu on Talbot street). If you walk along there looking a bit nervous and out of place some of the nuttier ones can smell it off you and start being a bit pester-y

Peanut2011

Just came across this which is relevant I think:

http://www.herald.ie/national-news/city-news/gardai-target-beggars-who-scare-shoppers-2504002.html

scarymoon1

theres lots of rude people out there op and you just have to ignore them. I was once nearly knocked over by this rude knacker and she didnt even say sorry. I was surprised today when my boss was talking about weak people why will cry if you say anything to them. so you see - some people have no cop on. Just ignore them and ciontinue with your good manners

Katgurl

yeah as per the previous poster i was guessing the talbot st / jervis st area. it really is crawling with scumbags. Having lived in dublin all my life and most of my adult life in city centre i have become immune and walk straight by. I have no problem with beggars or homeless people and will often give a few quid if i have it, but the abusive scumbags you described above don't merit any acknowledgement, just walk right by. I occasionally lose my patience if for example i'm trying to get my luas ticket and they're getting into my face looking for the change and tell them to f**k off outta my face or i'm calling a guard over but tbh this isn't the wisest thing to to and i wouldn't recommend it.

But definitely dont' take it personally.

Komplett-Tech: Ryan

It's sad to see this happen, but this does happen quite alot. Thankfully hardly ever to myself, but i often while walking up grafton street see this type of carry on by the scobes. Best thing to do is ignore them and keep walking.

whatsamsn

Op, few things:

- They are scum, knackers etc so dont get too "P.C." to not call them that. Call a spade a spade.
- You were getting 'tapped' because you were dressed nice. People always get tapped no matter what they wear, but they thought you werent short for a few bob.
- You shouldnt of gave the junkie money at the bus stop. I know its awkward when you're waiting around and they wont go away but junkies give the hard sell. Can guarantee you the junkie thought you were an ejiit when he walked off.
- Dont get upset at what they say. Happens to all of us when we say no to some scumbag. (Scumbag is the keyword there)

My thinking is that when ever you get someone asking you for something just say no .... or "sorry dont smoke" / "sorry last one" etc etc.. then walk away. Dont talk to them. Never tell a junkie to f*ck off. Just walk away.

And for people who wear headphones, or walk past them like you cant hear them, or doing a "power walk" mentioned above (lol) - you'll eventually be put in a spot where you cant do those tricks. Ie, waiting a bus stop. So you should learn just to be firm and say no rather than hiding behind something.

St._Andalou

Thanks for responses, everyone.

I was just really tired last night when I posted this and I agree, it's ridiculous to take it personally.

The article that was posted earlier is interesting. I do agree that this behaviour should be illegal. When I lived in Dublin last I volunteered for the Simon Community for three years, so I'm not heartless. But in a lot of cases, intimidation when begging borders on outright mugging, but I know personal issues isn't the place for this discussion.

It's one of those things you have to put up with in the city, but my God, after two years away from Dublin I noticed it's got so much worse. Glad to see those in power are taking some action.

Setun

You should research the various anti-street harassment campaigns - there are particularly strong groups in London and New York, and take a look at how they deal with the issue. There are forums where people can discuss/vent about nasty experiences and so on. I can only hope that as these groups get more popular that it will to some extent change how people act towards each other in public. Having said that, the kind of people you had the misfortune to deal with are unlikely to ever entirely vanish from urban areas

Zen65

zxcvbnm1 wrote: »

Hang on.. I think the above replies are nonsense..you should not be advising someone to do such basic thing as walk in a way they are unaccustomed to to avoid the wrath of knackers.

Actually, pretty much every self-defence instructor (myself included) will tell you that the way you walk, and especially the way you make eye contact greatly influences your probability of being approached / mugged. I work in the city centre, and I have never been approached by any of the beggars in the street. I don't claim to look physically threatening (far from it, I'm a fairly small build) but I do walk with purpose and I make a point of making sharp eye focus with anyone who looks remotely threatening, but never holding eye contact. I try to convey an impression of being aware of my surroundings but not likely to be friendly to anyone who approaches. Even the clipboard brigade (almost as unpleasant as the beggars in some respects) don't try to engage with me beyond their first word.

albeit wrote: »

As for attracting abuse, I think you might have made the mistake of making eye-contact or just looking at them, the only way I find helpful to avoid all of the above abusive people is to ignore them, blatantly.

I agree this may have been why Op felt targeted. If you appear sympathetic, or worse if you appear tired, you are likely to appear more of a "victim" to people who want your money.


Be at peace,

Z

Miss Fluff

From your post it sounds like you were around Busaras which is a less than desirable area. There's a methadone clinic around the corner and I've been robbed blind myself when I worked in an office in that area years ago so a combination of you looking smart and well-to-do combined with junkie dross does not a good combination make. You just had a bad day though so I wouldn't read too much into it.

Hope you get the job by the way!:)

messymess

Eye contact and how you use it is pretty interesting. Slightly off-topic but the next time you're walking down Grafton st, look to the side like you're staring in a shop window and keep a confident stride going. Notice how many people notice you 'not paying attention' and automatically get out of your way

CorkMan

1) Walk quickly. Confidence people tend to walk more quickly out and about.

2) Keep your head up and stand upright. People with low confidence tend to slump over. I think too that when people fight they broaden their shoulders, being slumped over could be interpreted you are less willing to fight if it came to that.

3) If anybody asks for something give them a very stern "No". Often these requests are opening points for something more sinister.

4) Always be 100% aware. These people can read like a book, even if you are unaware for half a second they latch onto that.

I would not be paranoid, but following these points would help you.