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Really Confused :(

  • 19-01-2011 7:36pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi,
    I am a 21 year old girl and recently came out to friends that I am a lesbian, I thought once I got it out there, I would be comfortable and would feel less confused....
    I am going out with a girl now for the last few months and she's awesome as is our relationship but I just still feel really confused about my sexuality TBH I don't quite know what or who I am....
    Recently I have started to believe that I may be transgender, I have mentioned this to my girlfriend and she has been supportive but doesnt seem to want to talk too much about the situation..........
    I don't know what to do!
    I don't even know whatt advice I am looking for on here, I'm just confused and needed to get it out
    thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Links234
    Closed Accounts Posts: 20,944 ✭✭✭✭Links234


    Well, it's certainly not easy, but if you need to talk about things, www.teni.ie have a list of support groups

    I found that the best thing was to talk to other transgender people, talk about how you feel, and get things off your chest. see if other trans people share your feelings. think about what you want to do.

    it's not easy, but I wish you the best of luck ;)


  • #3
    Chuchoter
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,305 ✭✭✭Chuchoter


    Well first question(s), why did/do you think you are a lesbian? Why are you now questioning your sexuality? Why do you think you are transgendered? If nothing else, writing it all out might make it a lot more understandable and clear to yourself. Maybe start a journal of some kind.

    To be honest, I think labels are more of a round estimate than a definite answer. You're never going to find a label that addresses every single aspect of your sexuality and really thats grand! You're having a great time with your girlfriend, go with it. Labels are handy to have to find people like you, but thats about it.


  • #4
    wallplugsocket
    Closed Accounts Posts: 70 ✭✭wallplugsocket


    I came out as a lesbian in my mid teens, now in my mid twenties I have come out as transgender. For me what happened was I came out, had relationships etc and once I hit 18 started going out on the scene. I joined a million and one forums, lgbt, women only etc. But I never really felt like I belonged, kinda felt on the outside a bit until I met some trans people.*
    It was something that was on my mind for at least four years, but I suppose I was afraid to "label" myself further.*

    I'm not saying wait years like me, but do give yourself time to let your thoughts come together. Think about how you feel being addressed as woman, and how you would feel being addressed as a man. For me, being addressed as a woman at any stage of my life felt awkward but I didn't realise why. Being addressed as a man for me feels natural.*

    I dunno if I'm the right person to give you advise, as this is all relatively new for me but I hope you find what you need on here or in any of the links other posters gave.*

    As for your girlfriend, if she identifies as a lesbian, she finds women attractive. This is a big thing for her too. My relationship broke down when I came out but I still have her as my best friend And we'll get through it together and we don't know what the future holds. I'm by no means saying she will end things that's just what happened for me, but just bare in mind when you confide in her it's all new information to her too and she needs her time to get to grips with it.*

    It's a huge decision, and havingonly been through it recently enough, it is scary. But the support out there is big.*

    Go to see somebody, talk about your concerns, but don't hide it away. It's your life, you get one shot and you should live it how makes you comfortable and happy.

    TJ


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