Completely different approach.....

wicklori

Hi Everyone,
I have had a look but can't find this particular topic covered elsewhere....

I am wondering if it is possible to take a completely different approach to the wedding reception idea. I love the idea of a 'big' wedding-as in all of the important people there, but we really neither have the money nor the inclination to go down the 'beef or salmon'; band and dj traditional Irish wedding route.

My idea would be-invite everyone; have Church ceremony ideally in the evening; head to a venue for party food-buffet/fnger food etc. good band and then... the following day have a proper nice meal for the bridal party.

Can anyone tell me if they have had a wedding like this or even been a guest at such a wedding.

Any ideas would be appreciated!

bytheglass

Sounds to me like you do want the usual wedding approach just mixed up a bit!
I doubt it would be difficult to do - you're just asking the venue to skip the meal & move onto the 'afters' & band.
Personally I'd wonder about family/friends travelling long distance just for 'afters', you'd probably have to explain it in the invite (only because I fear, people expect it!) and would you 'expect' these people to stay over just because you're deciding to have the meal the following day? If thats the case - do you put them up??

wicklori

Thanks a million for the reply-should have pointed out that my OH is a 'foreigner' so his family etc will be around for an extended perios anyway. For the next day we would be intending on only having Parents; siblings and that would be it (20 ish people). The previous day we would be hoping for maybe 150-200 guests.
We would be emphasising the lack of formality to everyone in advance and advising them not to expect a dinner on the day! We also wouldn't be expecting massive gifts. This wedding is very much more about the marriage than the day. I hate how people see a wedding invitation as almost a bad thing cos it represents such expense-I'd love people to be able to be completely relaxed about our day.

D3PO

what your suggestiong seems to be getting more popular. Lots of people seem to be doing buffet style do's instead of a sit down meal.

A lot of hotels will even cater directly for this now. Ive never been to such a wedding but Ive read many posts on here suggesting people had a great time at such a format.

How Strange

If you want something informal/different why not have the ceremony and family wedding on 1st day and the big party the next? You could do a buffet for party. IMO this isn't too different and alot of people (ourselves included) did it this way. It takes the formality out of it for most guests and it's like being invited to a party rather than wedding.

wicklori

How Strange wrote: »

If you want something informal/different why not have the ceremony and family wedding on 1st day and the big party the next? You could do a buffet for party. IMO this isn't too different and alot of people (ourselves included) did it this way. It takes the formality out of it for most guests and it's like being invited to a party rather than wedding.

This has been suggested.... My reservation is that for me the ceremony is the most important part and hence I want all the people who matter to be there.... OH agrees but would probably be happy to go with your idea.

BC

You might struggle to get a church to do an evening wedding.
Especially if its a saturday because there are masses on saturday evening.

You may be able to get a priest to do it on a weekday but i'd suggest approaching one first before you go too far into the planning. Its not just the priest and church that have to be free, its the sacristan, possibly cleaners etc.

You could go for a late afternoon civil wedding instead, however you'd need to have it in a hotel to cater for that many guests.

If you can't get an evening wedding and its during the day then i think you do need a full meal.

smelltheglove

Its very possible to do it dfferently and still have everyone you want there. Firstly there are civil ceremonies and some hotels do buffet meals quite cheap.

If you want to go the church route heres one, I took a booking for a wedding where the couple are having the wedding with the bridal party and immediate family ont he Friday and the big evening party on the Saturday evening. I have also covered wedding parties for couples who have gotten married abroad, one with a party here with finger food and another with a buffet. Not only do you get all you want there but you also get the chance to celebrate your wedding day twice.

Then one which gets overlooked a lot is the marquee wedding which can actually be really nice too. If you would consider the buffet evening party the Clarion in Liffey Valley do that quite cheap.

wicklori

Gosh thanks guys for all your replies!

My Church is a country Church where my family are fairly active; sacristin etc are family friends. Yes I will have to check availability but as regards flexibility I'm optimistic. Saturday evening might be limited but that would more depend on our Priest who is a friend of ours.

A Church wedding is very important to me although not so much to him. However, we are looking at a Ceremony in my local Church as being what we'd want to go with.

MIRMIR82

Hi Wicklori,

Myself and my fiance had a discussion last week about our wedding and he suggested just what you have said- get married in the evening and just have a band and finger-food -basically just the afters. I think it could be a runner.
Just a word of warning people saying about 'buffet' weddings - in most incidences the price for this is the same as a full dinner. My aunt got married last year and wanted a buffet wedding-she paid 46 euro a head(now this did include a half bottle of wine per person), but she could have had a sit down meal for 40euro a head.
Anyway let us know what you decide to do we are strongly thinking of doing the same ourselves.:)

smelltheglove

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

Hi Wicklori,

Myself and my fiance had a discussion last week about our wedding and he suggested just what you have said- get married in the evening and just have a band and finger-food -basically just the afters. I think it could be a runner.
Just a word of warning people saying about 'buffet' weddings - in most incidences the price for this is the same as a full dinner. My aunt got married last year and wanted a buffet wedding-she paid 46 euro a head(now this did include a half bottle of wine per person), but she could have had a sit down meal for 40euro a head.
Anyway let us know what you decide to do we are strongly thinking of doing the same ourselves.:)

True I have heard of some being expensive, the Liffey Valley hotel isnt my favourite hotel to do a job in I have to say but the clients loved it and I did notice they had a sign on their counter the last time I was there saying the evening wedding parties were starting at 2k so it must be a lot cheaper than most. They dont have grounds for photos but we still got a few photos in there and it is a central location with plenty of rooms for guests to stay in.

wicklori

MIRMIR82 wrote: »

Hi Wicklori,

Myself and my fiance had a discussion last week about our wedding and he suggested just what you have said- get married in the evening and just have a band and finger-food -basically just the afters. I think it could be a runner.
Just a word of warning people saying about 'buffet' weddings - in most incidences the price for this is the same as a full dinner. My aunt got married last year and wanted a buffet wedding-she paid 46 euro a head(now this did include a half bottle of wine per person), but she could have had a sit down meal for 40euro a head.
Anyway let us know what you decide to do we are strongly thinking of doing the same ourselves.:)

Thanks MIRMIR82, I have heard the same as wel which is part of my reason for posting. There is no way it should cost the same as a 'sit-down' dinner! I think there's probably a strategy for approaching hotels with this idea.... I'm convinced that there is a way! I might check out that Liffey Valley hotel, just to see how they market the idea...

MIRMIR82

wicklori wrote: »

Thanks MIRMIR82, I have heard the same as wel which is part of my reason for posting. There is no way it should cost the same as a 'sit-down' dinner! I think there's probably a strategy for approaching hotels with this idea.... I'm convinced that there is a way! I might check out that Liffey Valley hotel, just to see how they market the idea...

Brilliant idea - would you mind letting me know how you get on?

wicklori

will do...

smelltheglove

It was around August I saw the offer so enquire saying you noticed an offer when you were there in August about evening wedding celebrations from 2k.

How Strange

Re cost of buffet it all depends on what kind of food you want served. If you're thinking a hot meal of relatively good quality then yes, believe it or not, it will cost more than a sit down standard beef or salmon. This is because the quality of the food has to be better otherwise it will be dry and rubbery.

A cost effective option is salads with cold meats. They don't have to be
boring or dull; you can go for avoca type salads.

I will say that just like a sit down wedding meal you get what you pay for with buffet catering. Our buffet was amazing (even though I was too nervous to eat much); it wasn't cheap but everyone complimented the food and they were amazed at the standard.

kandr10

That sounds like a great idea. It's lovely that you've such a connection with the local church. The whole thing just sounds so relaxed and no stress.
Have you considered renting a venue and bringing in caterers rather than a hotel? Might give you a few more options. But best of luck with it anyway

sionnaic

wicklori wrote: »

Hi Everyone,
I have had a look but can't find this particular topic covered elsewhere....

I am wondering if it is possible to take a completely different approach to the wedding reception idea. I love the idea of a 'big' wedding-as in all of the important people there, but we really neither have the money nor the inclination to go down the 'beef or salmon'; band and dj traditional Irish wedding route.

My idea would be-invite everyone; have Church ceremony ideally in the evening; head to a venue for party food-buffet/fnger food etc. good band and then... the following day have a proper nice meal for the bridal party.

Can anyone tell me if they have had a wedding like this or even been a guest at such a wedding.

Any ideas would be appreciated!

Oh my God...THANK YOU!!! This idea is a revelation - it hadn't even occurred to me! What a fantastic idea!!

wow...I've been casting around for alternative ways to have a great wedding with all our family and good friends in attendance, without beggaring ourselves. You are a genius!!! I could just hug you!!

I'm going to go and discuss this with my OH right now

wicklori

sionnaic wrote: »

Oh my God...THANK YOU!!! This idea is a revelation - it hadn't even occurred to me! What a fantastic idea!!

wow...I've been casting around for alternative ways to have a great wedding with all our family and good friends in attendance, without beggaring ourselves. You are a genius!!! I could just hug you!!

I'm going to go and discuss this with my OH right now

AWWWW thank you! That's very nice. I have often wondered why people seem to only see weddings as either traditional, foreign or 'small'... I think we hould be able to get married in any way we like once the cilvil and/or religious formalities are fulfilled. Best of luck!

DM addict

we're thinking of doing something similar, only with the ceremony and small meal on one day, and then a big shindig the day after.

smelltheglove

One thing that never entered my mind to mention earlier. With evening ceremonies if you were to get some photos too there wouldnt be a lot of daylight, unless mid summer, to do this so your choices would be slightly linited.

I love the american idea of the first look. The first look is where the bride and groom meet before the ceremony on their own. I have seen it done through an american photographer Jasmine Star and it looks fantastic, you really get to see the couples joy and excitement seeing each other as they are dressed up about to take their vows.

I know it completely goes against the Irish way of doing it, I havent had a chance to do this myself but am hoping to with a couple going against the traditional route this summer. Just some food for thought there.

SeekUp

wicklori wrote: »

I have often wondered why people seem to only see weddings as either traditional, foreign or 'small'... I think we hould be able to get married in any way we like once the cilvil and/or religious formalities are fulfilled. Best of luck!

Hear hear.

I think that more people -- whether the reasons are financial or otherwise -- are coming to realize that the "traditional" way of doing things isn't the only way of doing things. Breaking the mold isn't always easy (as you're sometimes disagreeing with family members and sometimes hitting red tape), but I fully agree that you should get married and celebrate in the way that you and your soon-to-be-spouse want.

OS119

the best wedding i've ever been to - and, coincidentally, the only one i can remember what i ate - was astonishinly simple:

we walked the 300 yds from the church to the pub, had fingerfood and a drink while the wedding party had their photos done at the church, then had a big BBQ and pork roast, drinks, games, speeches, more games, followed by a disco and buffet.

the pub did the decorated garden, bbq, pig roast and buffet for 70, disco and cake table for £1000, and the deal was sealed by the pub knowing that there'd be 70-odd people drinking fairly solidly for 9 hrs.

happy couple saved a fortune by not going to a hotel and having a sit down meal, the pub made a fortune on the drinks, and shockingly the guests actually enjoyed themselves.

sleepyholland

OS119 - that sounds great.

I'm curious, what kind of games?

OS119

sleepyholland wrote: »

...I'm curious, what kind of games?

there was an outdoor skittles alley, super-size jenga, twister and 'parlour games' like charades, hangman and slaphead, and a paddling pool for the little kids.

obviously the weather had something to do with it - it was sunny and hot all day and everyone went cool and informal at the first opportunity, but i don't doubt you could do something similar at the right location in any weather.