Slow Orgasm

LegacyUser

I'm a male and it takes me a really long to orgasm, we're talking 30 plus minutes here.
I can't go to a GP and explain this, I jut couldn't do it so that's not an option.
Is there anything I can get to help this. It's really embarrassing.

Uriel.

Is it just with a partner or do you find it's the same by "yourself"?

I would say it's unlikely to be a medical condition but we cant go down that road here.

curlzy

Hey OP,

I'm female so I may have this wrong but that sounds normal to me. It always takes my BF at least that long to cum, don't know about when he's by himself though. It's really not something to be ashamed of OP, it's much better than being premature as it were. So yeah, I wouldn't worry about it, it's defo better to take a long time than for it to be over in 5 minutes, I'm sure the majority of girls would agree.

LegacyUser

As mentioned is this 30mins solo or with a partner?


Is alcohol involved?

Do you and your partner have any foreplay? It may be an idea that youdo this with Him/her for say 15mins before full sex.

Wompa1

Been there! A lot of time it just never happened for me at all. My problem lasted for about 4 years. I'm not sure what changed...you'll hear all sorts of ****e like lucky girls and they won't complain but the real kicker is that if you don't for ages or don't at all then they sure as hell do complain! Ohh it's because I'm a big fat whale, who could find me attractive wah wah wah...

There were times I'd be willing to give up and the girl would want to keep going. Lasted over 4 hours a few times.

If it's any help at all the only thing that's changed in my life is 1.) All girlfriends since have been waxed down there 2.) I am a lot more unfit than I was!!

dub_3

I'm a bit like that too, and if I've been drinking, then I just don't come at all.

Sometimes if we've been at it too long, we stop for a rest before carrying on to the finish.

To help you, I'd say take a look at your fitness and diet, see what changes you can make to be a bit healthier. Eliminate cigarettes & alcohol to see if that makes a difference. (other drugs too!) Am not saying you can never smoke / drink, gradually reintroduce them if necessary, but cut down again if problem recurs.

You don't say if you have this problem when masturbating, so am assuming that's ok

If so then:-

It's possible you've gotten into the habit of getting yourself off by vigorous masturbation, then when you try making love it's too slow to get you off (or you end up hurting your partner). If so then absolutely no masturbation till you have the problem under control, and then take it easy.

Also am assuming you've got entirely different set of thoughts in your head when alone, than when with your girlfriend. Maybe you've done a good job of associating the first set of thoughts with getting off (years of practice), but not such a good job with the second set.

It's just a pattern you have to break, as per above, no masturbation till issue is resolved.


It could just be that your technique needs improving.

I start off slowly and build to a climax, but if I try to rush it it never works.
On the other hand if I take too long I don't seem to have the energy to finish,
also I think that the penis gets a bit numb after doing it too long and that obviously doesn't help.

So I need to pace myself for best results (maybe you do to), without using a stopwatch, am guessing 15 mins is about right for me.

I also find it helpful to start of missionary and when going well, switch to doggy and do it much slower and deeper, then back to missionary and speed up for the finish.

I think variation is essential if you're gonna do a long session.

Experiment to find what works best for you.

Another thing to bear in mind when doing marathon sessions is lubrication.
If you're going so long that she loses enthusiasm, she will start becoming less lubricated and it will be harder for you to come. That's a good reason to try variation, or maybe stop and go down on her for a bit before carrying on.

As curlzy says "defo better to take a long time than for it to be over in 5 minutes"

If 30 mins is too long for you, then have fun trying different things to get you off quicker,
and just be grateful you're not one of those guys who can't go more than 5 mins.

Good Luck

LegacyUser

Give us a little more info here - has that just started happening out of the blue (as in all was fine with same partner/previous partners before) or has it been happening ever time?

While we can't get into medical advice here, I would say that if you are on medication for depression, this is a classic side-effect of certain brands ...

Go talk to your GP - they have heard it all believe me - they have people coming into them with anything from public lice to jock itch! If its a family GP or something like that is worrying you, then maybe get a new one! You don't even have to say it directly, just explain it something like "Sort of an embarrassing problem (they will guess the area straight away from that but assume erectile dysfunction) ...myself and my partner are having trouble, or rather I am in that its not so much failure to launch but failure to reach the destination..." - keep it light hearted, laugh a little, GP has seen it all before.

Could easily just be nerves or your mind getting set on the fact that you can't get there just because it happened once or twice by chance.

No matter what it is, the only wrong thing to do is to do nothing - go see your GP and put yourself out of your misery.

Peanut2011

OP, I don't know many women that would have a problem with that. that means it's not just "wham-bam thank you mam"

LegacyUser

I take a bit longer than usual too, but I tend to take a break in the middle. Go for 10-15 mins then take a few minutes spooning then go at it again until I come. I'd have a heart attack if I kept doing it for 30 mins! But I suppose it keeps you fit if nothing else!

18AD

If you're feeling adventurous, you could try the so called "male g-spot."

Good luck.