Quitting drink

LegacyUser

I'm a male, nearly 30.

I am seriously contemplating quitting drink. I had a pretty bad experience with it last night - usually I'm fine but this was a case of several too many. I know there's a forum here for people who don't drink but I wanted to post anonymously.

Over the past 10 years I probably spent on average €100 a week on so-called "socialising", in addition to lost items, various damages and even a drink driving incident that ended up costing me over €5000.

And funny enough my excuse for not joining clubs, etc, is that i never have enough money.

Cutting down doesn't seem to work for me. I'm in no means an alcoholic.. I don't crave drink and I could possibly quit altogether. But every single social occassion seems to involve booze and there's nothing worse than sitting in a peeling labels off bottles. And as everyone knows, there's no such thing as going for just one drink.

I quit drink 3-4 times before just to get a bit fitter - usually for a month but once for 3 months. But then when I arrive into the pub it's like meeting an old friend!

So the advice I'm looking for.. is it actually possible to quit drink in Ireland? Should I tell people I'm quit drink or should I just try to avoid drinking? Should I avoid pubs or go along even though it won't be fun?

paky

op-here wrote: »

I'm a male, nearly 30.

I am seriously contemplating quitting drink. I had a pretty bad experience with it last night - usually I'm fine but this was a case of several too many. I know there's a forum here for people who don't drink but I wanted to post anonymously.

Over the past 10 years I probably spent on average €100 a week on so-called "socialising", in addition to lost items, various damages and even a drink driving incident that ended up costing me over €5000.

And funny enough my excuse for not joining clubs, etc, is that i never have enough money.

Cutting down doesn't seem to work for me. I'm in no means an alcoholic.. I don't crave drink and I could possibly quit altogether. But every single social occassion seems to involve booze and there's nothing worse than sitting in a peeling labels off bottles. And as everyone knows, there's no such thing as going for just one drink.

I quit drink 3-4 times before just to get a bit fitter - usually for a month but once for 3 months. But then when I arrive into the pub it's like meeting an old friend!

So the advice I'm looking for.. is it actually possible to quit drink in Ireland? Should I tell people I'm quit drink or should I just try to avoid drinking? Should I avoid pubs or go along even though it won't be fun?

mate the sad reality is this. giving up drink in ireland means finding new friends that dont drink. going to pubs with friends who drink is a fcking headache and a half. you'll be suddenly bombarded with have another one, go on go on. for fcuk sake. emmigrating from this country is the only shot you have at giving up drink unless you want to be a recluse

Logical Fallacy

op-here wrote: »

I'm a male, nearly 30.

I am seriously contemplating quitting drink. I had a pretty bad experience with it last night - usually I'm fine but this was a case of several too many. I know there's a forum here for people who don't drink but I wanted to post anonymously.

Over the past 10 years I probably spent on average €100 a week on so-called "socialising", in addition to lost items, various damages and even a drink driving incident that ended up costing me over €5000.

And funny enough my excuse for not joining clubs, etc, is that i never have enough money.

Cutting down doesn't seem to work for me. I'm in no means an alcoholic.. I don't crave drink and I could possibly quit altogether. But every single social occassion seems to involve booze and there's nothing worse than sitting in a peeling labels off bottles. And as everyone knows, there's no such thing as going for just one drink.

I quit drink 3-4 times before just to get a bit fitter - usually for a month but once for 3 months. But then when I arrive into the pub it's like meeting an old friend!

So the advice I'm looking for.. is it actually possible to quit drink in Ireland? Should I tell people I'm quit drink or should I just try to avoid drinking? Should I avoid pubs or go along even though it won't be fun?

To be honest with you man, you just need to man up and test your willpower. I haven't drank in close to three years. I am regularly in pubs and clubs, at gigs or house parties. It's not a difficult thing to do.

You have said "there is no such thing as going for one drink", "Should i avoid pubs or go along even though it won't be fun", so you do really need to look at why you drink, the people you drink with etc.

If being out with them without being drunk is so bad, why the hell are you hanging out with them at all?

op-here

op-here wrote: »

So the advice I'm looking for.. is it actually possible to quit drink in Ireland? Should I tell people I'm quit drink or should I just try to avoid drinking? Should I avoid pubs or go along even though it won't be fun?

Yes, it is possible. If people give you the "ah have one go on" tell them to fcuk off and mind their own business. Or tell them next time ye're all eating out you'll make fun of their dinner and say "have this instead" all night.

I'm surprised you say "even though it won't be fun". Either you need to try it more or you need different friends. I enjoy going to the pub and sitting around chatting with friends who drink.

Seriously, just do it and nevermind if people are moaning at you

Uriel.

OP,

You are not necessarily an alcoholic, but you do have a drink problem, or perhaps better put; you have a problem with drink

You are not dependent on drink in an every day sense of getting through the day but you appear to be dependent on it to have a good time/socialise. It also seems to get you into difficulties. The drink driving incident is a big red flag there. You don't describe what happened last night, but it appears on the surface to be something that you (and society in general) would not accept from yourself in the normal course of the day/night. I am sure it is not the first time drink has caused difficulties for you either.

I appreciate that some (a large amount of it) is due to the cultural society in which we live in here in Ireland.

But the culture is the culture and the only way to deal with the situation is to diversify yourself from that particular culture. You are in your thirties, you must take responsibility for your actions and forget about friends and what they "want" you to do.

You can quit drinking, you can socialise and enjoy yourself (even in pubs and clubs) without a drinks and for the most part you can do it with the same circle of friends as you currently have. But you have to want to do it.

It's not easy, of course it isn't, you are flying in the face of the "norm" in Ireland. It will take getting used to no doubt. I enjoy a drink myself and more often than not I will have a few drinks on a night out, and sometimes I over indulge. But I can and have gone out and stayed completely away from the drink also.

Is it a better or worse night being sober? well I don't know, it's different, yes, but look at this way, the next day day, you have more money in your pocket, you are not suffering the effects of hangover, you have not damaged your body, you haven't made an idiot out of yourself and you (hopefully) won't have done something you regret (and indeed you may even remember the entire night) - these are all pretty good things aren't they?

When dealing with your friends, tell them you can't drink for 6 months on doctors orders - I don't like to tempt faith much, but you could say you are having pains in your side after drinking and the docs want to monitor the situation. Within 6 months both you and your friends will have adapted to the new situation within the group and then you can continue on the same path beyond six months (if you so wish).

Wompa1

I hear ya OP going through something similar. Unfortunately I just don't enjoy going to pubs, clubs or parties when sober. The things my friends do are going to gigs or watching football all in pubs. If I go I get badgered to have a drink for the first hour or so. Then it also feels like I'm holding others back because the dynamic of the group changes if I'm sober and everyone else is drunk, it's like they are constantly aware of making sure they aren't acting too drunk around me and go a bit up tight

wicklori

A working definition of problem drinking is that once drink (or any substance) starts to interfere with your life it is a problem.
By the sounds of your post, alcohol is in control-you are doing things you wouldn't normally do and also not doing things you would like to do-all because of drink.
Maybe this is worth reflection.

Zen65

op-here wrote: »

I am seriously contemplating quitting drink.

So quit.

You don't need our approval, you're an adult. Unless of course you have a drink problem?

op-here wrote: »

Over the past 10 years I probably spent on average €100 a week on so-called "socialising", in addition to lost items, various damages and even a drink driving incident that ended up costing me over €5000.

That does sound like a story that somebody with a drink problem would tell. Why not seek help with quitting then?

op-here wrote: »

Cutting down doesn't seem to work for me. I'm in no means an alcoholic.. I don't crave drink and I could possibly quit altogether. But every single social occassion seems to involve booze and there's nothing worse than sitting in a peeling labels off bottles. And as everyone knows, there's no such thing as going for just one drink.

Yes there is, I do it often, so do many of my friends. If you think there is no such thing as having just one drink then you do have problems with your attitude to drink. So quitting, and getting help, is a really good idea.

op-here wrote: »

So the advice I'm looking for.. is it actually possible to quit drink in Ireland? Should I tell people I'm quit drink or should I just try to avoid drinking? Should I avoid pubs or go along even though it won't be fun?

Yes, it is very possible to quit drink in Ireland. Lots of people do it. Many people are forced into doing it right now because money is scarce. Also, believe it or not Ireland has one of Europe's highest percentage of non-drinkers!

Tell people you've quit if it helps you, don't waste your time thinking how it affects them; that's their problem. Tell them you're trying to get fit to run a marathon.

Avoid pubs if you find you cannot go in and drink a mineral. Don't put yourself in temptation's way.


Sorry for the multi-quotes Op, I'm merely trying to point out that you already know what you should do, it's in your own post. Don't look for approval from others, that's the sort of attitude which gets people poor drinking habits. If you quit for just 6 months you could have €2,600 saved, which would get you a nice holiday-for-two somewhere.


Be at peace,

Z