very upset

Janet1986

I am feeling very upset at the moment.

A friend of my boyfriend called to drop off some money he owed my boyfriend.

He asked can he use the toilet, so i let him.

I was at the front door waiting for him to come down from the toilet and when he did he started talking to me and backing me up against the front door. He then put his two hands up against the door and blocked me.

He started kissing me and i said NO and tried to move. He got very rough and put his hand into my pants and roughy fingered me. I am bleeding.

He only left me go when i stared crying and shouted get out. I feel awful, i can't tell my bf because there will be war.

mrpink6789

Call the police straight away, thats sexual assault.

chicken fingers

you need to call the police right away.

Dont worry, if there will be war if your boyfriend is even half a man he will be on your side and will help you.

Janet1986

My gut feeling was telling me he was going to try something.

Anytime we met him he would always stare at me.

So i said to myself i will wait at the front door to let him know i wasn't going to be making cups of tea or anything.

I shouldn't have let him use the toilet.

Ickle Magoo

Do you have a friend or family member you could contact who can keep you company? There is not a lot of advice we can offer bar to suggest you report it ASAP so he doesn't get away with it.

kerryman12

I dont blame you for being upset, I am funking raging here.

Call the police that is sexual assault, you need to make sure this funker knows he did wrong. Lock you door, keep your phone to hand. Maybe consider calling a close family member for support or a close friend.

ennis81

Ring your boyfriend and the garda NOW.

This bloke is banking on the fact that you won't....I'm sorry this happened to you but don't let the scumbag get away with it.

take care x

seamus

Janet1986 wrote: »

I shouldn't have let him use the toilet.

This wasn't your fault, you didn't do anything wrong.

What he did was rape. As with everyone else, the only advice I can give is to report it ASAP, and please do not keep it to yourself.

Janet1986

I'm going to call my GP and then go to the A and E and then report it to the gardi.

Duggy747

Janet1986 wrote: »

I'm going to call my GP and then go to the A and E and then report it to the gardi.

Good, this guy can't get away with it. Your boyfriend needs to know what kind of "friend" he has and especially that he help you with this.

You didn't do anything wrong in letting him in, he abused his stance of a friendship with you.

Sorry to hear that happened, scum like that angers me to no end. Especially when they think they can get away with it.

allym

So sorry to hear this OP, sickens me that there are people like that scumbag in the world! The most important thing now is to get to the hospital and make sure you're ok. Then you MUST tell your boyfriend!

This man is no friend of your boyfriend and if he goes mental about it let him! In this situation you are your boyfriend's number one priority-NOT this disgusting "friend" of his!

Really hope things work out ok!

tinkerbell

Oh god OP, what an awful awful experience - you must be in an awful state.

First of all, ring the gardaí immediately, do not wait. Go to your GP and A&E and file a report there as well for the gardaí. And tell your boyfriend. Do not keep this a secret from him. You have nothing to be ashamed about - you did nothing wrong. You need to tell your boyfriend what happened. Would you rather that he not know and he stayed friends with that scumbag totally oblivious to what happened? You NEED to tell him.

Stay strong, OP. You did nothing wrong. That scumbag is the one to blame here - you are an innocent victim and what he did was sexual assault. The gardaí will deal with him and you will get justice, do not stay silent.

My heart goes out to you, hope you are ok *hug*

Wompa1

Fully agree. Go to the cops right away.. U might not be his last victim otherwise.

Tar.Aldarion

Hope you've been to the police by now, that's disgusting. Hope it works out ok

Hogzy

OP what the person did to you is would fall under Section 4 Rape. Its an extremely serious offense

Janet1986

Thanks for the replies

I went to the hospital and got examined, the consultant phoned the guards and they came out to the hospital.

The consultant wrote a report that i had signs of forced entry and alot of bleeding.

I then made a statement.

I broke the news to my bf and he went ape and phoned the creep but his phone was off.

I'm still very shaken up and i think this could have a bad affect on me.

seamus

Janet1986 wrote: »

I broke the news to my bf and he went ape and phoned the creep but his phone was off.

This is probably for the best. The Gardai should be allowed to handle it now. Any interaction between you/your boyfriend and this scumbag could affect the case against him. Please advise your boyfriend to contain his rage and not engage the guy.

I'm still very shaken up and i think this could have a bad affect on me.

Contact the local rape crisis centre (dublin one here: http://www.drcc.ie/) or at the very least think about going to a counsellor who specialises in this kind of thing. The earlier you deal with it, the easier it will be to get over it.

Logical Fallacy

Janet1986 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies

I went to the hospital and got examined, the consultant phoned the guards and they came out to the hospital.

The consultant wrote a report that i had signs of forced entry and alot of bleeding.

I then made a statement.

I broke the news to my bf and he went ape and phoned the creep but his phone was off.

I'm still very shaken up and i think this could have a bad affect on me.

Well done, it took a lot of strength to do what you did. Telling your boyfriend was the right thing to do. I imagine his anger was stemming from the betrayal of trust and the assault on someone he loves. Hopefully he will find his calm and realise that he needs to be there for you now in a supportive role.

Things like this can be very hard to overcome, but the simple fact is that people do, and people deal with this everyday. There are many people who can help you, whom you can talk to and seek support from. Don't forget that.

It's been said already but it is worth repeating, this was NOT your fault. You were taken advantage of in a situation of trust, that so called "friend" is the bad guy here.

curlzy

Hey OP,

Very very very well done! You're brave and strong to report him, very well done again. Alot of girls in your position don't report the guy, which is an awful shame. You've done yourself proud. I can imagine how angry your boyfriend is but you need to ask him for your sake to leave it to the gaurds, tell him you need him around you supporting you, the law will take care of the other guy. I hope you start feeling better soon, as someone mentioned the Rape Crisis Centre is great, I know a couple of girls that have used their services and they are very good at helping women in this situation. Just to reiterate, you did nothing wrong and you did the right thing in reporting him, just concentrate on looking after yourself at the moment.

stella09

Glad to have read you reported that scumbag OP.

You done nothing wrong there its just unfortunate that it has happened to you. But you have done the right thing by goin to the hospital guards and tellin your bf of what you have gone through its not the easiest thing to speak about..
i hope you do seek support as it will help you get through this,

wishing you all the best in the future! x

spinandscribble

Its not often you get PIs like this where the person stands up for themselves well done it can't be easy. Keep a eye on your bf so he doesn't do anything foolish.

Contessa Raven

I just want to say OP, that you've done the right thing in reporting this scumbag. Look after yourself. Surround yourself with family, friends, people to support you.

I understand your boyfriends fury at what has happened to you but he needs to step back and realise that if he contacts this person that he could cause more damage than good.

Remember this wasn't your fault. Keep your head up and be proud for doing the right thing. This man is a low-life and he will get what he deserves.

Thinking of you OP.

Drodan

Reading this I can't believe that someone's "friend" would do something like that, it's 100% wrong and he needs to be locked up.

Just echoing the statements of everyone else, well done OP with reporting him etc, must of taken a lot of courage. I hope you'll be ok after this. Stay strong!

tinkerbell

OP - I am so proud of you that you reported it and told your boyfriend. Do contact the Rape Crisis Centre and they can help you. Let the gardai deal with it now. Warn your friends about this creep too, or could that affect the case?

aidan24326

OP, just wanted to echo what people have said about your boyfriend not doing anything silly. I know he's probably in the frame of mind right now that he wants to kill this guy (and who could blame him) but it's important he leave it be for now and above all don't get use violence (as it may damage your case).

Deal with the guards, they will take this very seriously as it's a sexual assault, and the offender could feasibly go to jail. Well done for reporting it though, if he can do that to you who knows what else he's capable of.

LegacyUser

Janet1986 wrote: »

i can't tell my bf because there will be war.

And so there should be. Good on you for getting examined. Just make sure the BF doesn't do anything silly, don't want him locked up too.

dellas1979

Oh God - what an awful awful experience. You poor poor pet.

First of all, you did nothing wrong. Not one thing. Dont blame yourself. Right now you will, but give it a little time, and I know you will see it differently because you have stood up for yourself. Right now everything is muddled and emotions are high.

Secondly, you are so very brave and courageous to have stood up for yourself like that.

You may find that you need a little bit of help getting through this, and would encourage you to talk to a family member, a friend or councellor.

ABajaninCork

OP. Nothing I can add in the way of advice, but wanted to say how brave and strong you're being, and WELL DONE! With a bit of luck, that scumbag will soon be up before the beak getting his just desserts.

I will keep you in my prayers. Stay strong, and very best wishes to you. Lots of luck.