Guy at work!

LegacyUser

Hi Guys,

There's a guy that started working in my office about a month ago and I really fancy him.
He's tall dark and handsome and from the little I've spoken to him he seems like a lovely guy.

I'm not sure if he has a girlfriend and don't really know how to find out. The only time I get to talk to him is in the canteen at lunchtime and he hasn't mentioned a girlfriend.

Trouble is, I am quite shy when I'm around groups of people and I also prefer to eat quietly while reading my book so when we're in the canteen I tend to be very quiet and don't bring much to the table! Outside of work however I'm fun loving and really outgoing but I reckon he thinks I'm a bit dull and a bit of a mute!

I'm trying hard to overcome this shyness but I struggle with it. I'm 28 years old so really should have more confidenec at this stage. I'm also very good looking so I don't know why I clam up.

I guess my question is how do I let him know I like him and how do I become more sociable over lunch? I honestly reckon he find me weird, when someone asks me a question over lunch I actually panic internally!

Thanks Guys:)

Miss Fluff

Well reading a book while eating in company is appallingly bad manners so I'd ditch that for a start. I love reading too but I'd never read in company like that - it would give an impression of being aloof and antisocial.

Tune in on the conversation and you should be able to guage what his interests are and take it from there.

Colonel_McCoy

facebook him check his status

james098

If you fancy him trust me he will have read the signals he may also be shy just bite the bullet and talk

kc66

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Well reading a book while eating in company is appallingly bad manners so I'd ditch that for a start. I love reading too but I'd never read in company like that - it would give an impression of being aloof and antisocial.

A bit off topic, but I don't agree with this advice. If its at lunch time in an office canteen, there's no problem. People have done it in many places I've worked, I don't think anyone has a problem with it. I definitely don't.

LegacyUser

kc66 wrote: »

A bit off topic, but I don't agree with this advice. If its at lunch time in an office canteen, there's no problem. People have done it in many places I've worked, I don't think anyone has a problem with it. I definitely don't.

Thanks, I agree with you. It's not like I sit there reading with everyone talking around me.
I bring my book in with me and if I'm sitting alone I read. If others sit at my table then I always put the book down. I prefer to read and eat quietly but I don't do that if people sit with me. That would be kinda rude.

I just go very quiet around groups of people and especially if I fancy someone. It's highly frustrating because it's very unattractive to be mute! I just get nervous and I clam up.
Also, the lighting in the canteen is very unflattering and I feel ugly over lunch. Plus eating isn't evry s*xy so I just feel a bit gross at lunch.

If I met him in a bar or at after work drinks then it'd be fine! We never go for drinks in my company though!

Can anybody relate to this? Do any of ye act weird around people you fancy??

claireeney

when i started in my new job i was going for lunch with up to 20 people in a group where there was only 2 or 3 before. I was so scared of the conversation I wouldnt be able to eat my lunch sometimes. I didnt fancy anyone at the table but there were people there that were my superiors and i thought i really needed to make a good impression. i felt so uncomfortable. so a few months later i felt so much more comfortable! i actually start conversations now where i would probably get up and leave if anyone asked me anything before.

you will relax eventually. if you can try and sit near him some day and see what happens. suggest everyone goes for a few drinks some evening, why not? take the plunge!

Re: the book, I always bring my book to breaktimes in case there's no one there. if people come along it can be a good conversation starter!!

whiteonion

Trying to get romantically involved with people at your workplace is unprofessional and many places have rules against this. Work is not a place for romance :mad:

claireeney

whiteonion wrote: »

Trying to get romantically involved with people at your workplace is unprofessional and many places have rules against this. Work is not a place for romance :mad:

that is not the issue here. it's more about her confidence. many places do, then again many places dont. many of the married people i work with met in the workplace. cant be that much wrong with it. sounds like you have your own problem.

whiteonion

claireeney wrote: »

that is not the issue here. it's more about her confidence. many places do, then again many places dont. many of the married people i work with met in the workplace. cant be that much wrong with it. sounds like you have your own problem.

Yes, I hate to see people kiss in public at work. It's not professional behaviour. I would never get romantically involved with anyone from work. Work is serious business.

John400

whiteonion wrote: »

Trying to get romantically involved with people at your workplace is unprofessional and many places have rules against this. Work is not a place for romance :mad:

I'd say that SOME workplaces probably frown upon it but it's nonsense to suggest that you're not allowed to get romantically involved with somebody at work. The list of people who have met their other half in the workplace is endless.

OP, i'd agree with the poster who said Facebook his status as it will give you a good idea if he's single or not, also if he's on twitter you can see what's what also, god bless the net!

mrpink6789

Im currently going out with someone I work with, I like most people waited until we were out socially until I struck up the courage to ask her out, took bloody ages to get her out for a few pints :P

Another company I worked in I asked someone out and got shot down.

I dont regret doing either so my advice would be to just go for it!

If you want to find out if he is single just either do the facebook think which is a great way to find out most of the time, if that doesnt work ask him what his plans are for the weekend. Blokes have a tendency to mention doing something with their girlfriend if they are going out with someone. Not sure why but I seem to do it all the time if people ask me what my plans are.

John400

mrpink6789 wrote: »

If you want to find out if he is single just either do the facebook think which is a great way to find out most of the time

I agree. Guys and girls would check this out, you'll get a good indication.

LegacyUser

I know where you are coming from. I go completely mute too in those situations as I feel that I might say something stupid and end up just ignoring the guy which is a bit ridiculous really but it just happens! You should try and talk to him more if you can.