I Hate Men

Jilly19

after being abused by somebody a few years ago i now hate men. Im wondering how this can be normal... i just cant stand them and i have told my mam that i wont be giving her grandkids :''''( even though it kills me

Go seek professional help

Silverfish

I really think you should get some professional counselling to help you deal with this.

I can understand where you're coming from, but you can't cut off 50% of the population - it's not healthy

You really need help to deal with this and work through this.

Ickle Magoo

Moved from tLL to PI, which is the advice forum...best of luck OP.

MarkR

You hate a man, and are scared that the rest of them will hurt you like that man did.

As above. Seek help.

Jilly19

I have done.....iv had years of counselling but nothing changes my mind. dont think i can ever have a relationship

drunkmonkey

Jilly there's some horrible men out there but were not all the same, probably a strange analogy but I got bitten by a dog but I like dogs, that one particular dog i wudnt describe what I'd like to do to him as my imagination holds no mercy.

Hate that fcuker that fcuked things up for you with all your might, just don't hate all of us and stop thinking of him, he's a scumbag don't let him stop you enjoying the persent he's not worth your time.

Live life well and don't let history cloud the future..

Jilly19

not only did he do to it to me, and my sister but i found out not so long ago that he did it to 12 other girls when they were just 5 yrs old???!!! its a bit more complicated for me though because my mams partner is his son

Sleepy

Hating all men after being abused by one while probably not uncommon, is entirely illogical and not "normal".

Like MarkR says, you hate *one* man. The rest you're blaming for the actions of one which is irrational and unfair.

If the years of counselling you've been through haven't helped maybe it'd be a good idea to try a different counsellor?

Miss Fluff

I agree with Sleepy. You have had years of counselling OP but your counsellor may not have been very good unfortunately. Have you been in touch with these guys? www.oneinfour.ie

By "hating" all men and depriving yourself of potential happiness with a loving partner and maybe one day having gorgeous little kids of your own, you are letting your abuser win. They have already robbed you of your innocence and caused you untold heartache but with good counselling you can begin to move on and get rid of a lot of the anger that you're keeping bottled up.

Has your abuser been brought to justice? Have you pressed charges?

SugarHigh

Sleepy wrote: »

Hating all men after being abused by one while probably not uncommon, is entirely illogical and not "normal".

Like MarkR says, you hate *one* man. The rest you're blaming for the actions of one which is irrational and unfair.

If the years of counselling you've been through haven't helped maybe it'd be a good idea to try a different counsellor?

I don't think it's healthy for the op to hate men and I do agree she should keep trying to get professional help.

Having said that, I don't she is being irrational. To go back to the bitten by a dog analogy, while it might not be the fault of all dogs that one decided to bite you, by avoiding all dogs it is very unlikely to happen again. The problem is the affect this has on your life and that it's probably worth the risk of it happening again if it means you can live a normal life.

It's really up to the OP to decide if having a normal life is worth the risk and if she decides it isn't then why push her into it just because that's how we live our lives.

Taltos

OP - by hating all men - can you not see that you are giving this scumbag power over you?
As hard as it is you should try to move beyond the damage he has done to you and others and show this fecker that you are stronger than him and that you can have a great relationship with a man and children if that is what you really want.

Not all men are prats - just be sure that due to this abuse you are not drawn to a similarly evil git.

Maybe consider seeking help elsewhere - sometimes it is good to get a fresh perspective on things...

Wagon

Can't blame you really

I hate to ask this, but was he ever caught or found out or was it all kept under the rug? If he got away with it then it could be a factor.

Calibos

Taltos wrote: »

OP - by hating all men - can you not see that you are giving this scumbag power over you?
As hard as it is you should try to move beyond the damage he has done to you and others and show this fecker that you are stronger than him and that you can have a great relationship with a man and children if that is what you really want.

Not all men are prats - just be sure that due to this abuse you are not drawn to a similarly evil git.

Maybe consider seeking help elsewhere - sometimes it is good to get a fresh perspective on things...

While I too initially thought the OP was about physical abuse by a partner, a follow on post talking about sister, 12 other girls and 5 year olds would imply she is talking about sexual abuse and by a much older man (His son is dating her mother?) Thus I don't think the rest of us being prats or not or her being drawn to a similar evil git are the problem.

james098

Hope you find happiness and peace we all deserve that;)