Don't know how to interact with girls sexually.

LegacyUser

First off, to stop the thread title being misleading, I understand the 'mechanics' of sex.

I used to be shy - really shy.

I've gotten better in recent years (I'm in my early 20's) and have many friends, but I still suck with women.

The problem is that I suck in a very specific way.

Some women like me, some women want to sleep with me, but the problem is that I don't know how.

Just two days ago, a girl I know gave me every green light possible, a girl that I find sexy and smart, a girl who I would love to be with, a girl who danced sexy with me for aaages that night...

...and I had no idea what to do to show her that I liked her back.

When I was growing up, I never learnt the social cues that let you get laid, so even when I accidentally charm a girl into liking me (and it happens every now and again), I have no idea how to proceed, how to go from dancing to scoring, from scoring to sex.

My problem is not that women don't like me, but that I have no idea how to progress a relationship.

I can't exactly sit her down and say "you like me, I like you, let's hit the hay", from what I have observed, getting together seems to be an intricate dance that takes place over the night, and I just don't know the steps.

Pentecost

Without being facetious if you're doing the whole dancing sexy thing then just, for want of a better phrase, drop the head on her! If she backs away or something (worst case scenario and probably unlikely if yer at that stage) then so what chalk it down to being part of the percentages. Easier said than done I know but I always tended to over analyse things and still do a bit but I surprised myself when I just started going for these things when I felt the opportunity was definitely there. Not as if you're trying to just grab some randomer by the sounds of it. Carpe Diem man.

johnboysligo

"would you like to sleep with me?" seems like a good question. Confidence can be attractive but don't be vulgar or obnoxious. Where that line between forward and too forward is depends on the girl in question.

AngryBadger

OP it sounds like you have the problem every 20-something year old guy in the history of life has had, (seriously! I hope there are alien civilisations out-dating ours that've had, and solved this problem but chosen not to share the solution just to mess with us!).

Honestly, the easy answer is to be an ass, but I hope that's not the answer you want. the proper answer is that if you're seeking sex, well the best sex you'll have is with someone you respect, but that's a much longer post, and I'm full of beer

Honestly, (and in all likelihood it'll take you, and most guys years to accept this), the most attractive thing any of your peer-ladies will ever encounter is a guy who's not concerned with their hunger for his loins.

Treat women like your mates, you care for them, you even love some of them, but mostly you look out for them because you care about them, and once in a while your need to have dirty, messy sexy times with one of them will match your need to be a really good guy to that same one.

It does happen!

minidazzler

"I'd kiss ya if I didn't think you'd slap me" said in a cheeky way works a treat and gives you an out. If you don't have the confidence to make a move, then feign it, soon enough you will develop it!

lightglow

johnboysligo wrote: »

"would you like to sleep with me?" seems like a good question. Confidence can be attractive but don't be vulgar or obnoxious. Where that line between forward and too forward is depends on the girl in question.

Are you advising him to say that to the likes of this girl on the dancefloor?! :eek:

OP, I wouldn't say that! It's way too forward, and if a guy I'd just met said that to me I'd walk away.

LegacyUser

@Angrybadger: I already have girls wanting me, I have been given every signal possible - but because I never went to discos growing up, or interacted with girls that much up to now, I don't know the practical steps to get a girl to the next step.

I should add that in the particular recent situation I am thinking of, mutual friends were around, so I didn't want to risk just grabbing and kissing her (which isn't really my style anyway).

The thing is, I can't do cheeky - I'm quite somber.
Some girls love that, but it means that I can't get away with lines.

johnboysligo

lightglow wrote: »

Are you advising him to say that to the likes of this girl on the dancefloor?! :eek:

certainly not. I miss read the op's post my bad

NikNakOoo

Let go of your ego and stop using excuses like 'I never went to discos.' (I mean that sincerely, not having a dig.)

Brush her face lightly as you're dancing (or touch her knee if you're sitting down, chatting), if she backs away then you ain't in, if she doesn't flinch then kiss her for fecks sake! No fast moves though, no girl likes to have a tongue down her throat before she realises whats going on. Nothing is more frustrating for a girl who gives all the signals, is for a guy to not take any action. Once the kissing goes from tame to passionate then simply ask her if she wants to come back to yours... but don't go expecting that you're in, most girls would like to think that you love them for their personality which means that they'd like to think you'd like to date them first before shagging them... but if you have no interest in dating then you'll just have to accept the odds that they might say no. And remember practice makes perfect.:)

LegacyUser

NikNakOo makes a really good point. OP I'm a girl and whilst I have made the moves on a guy in the past - I really like the guy to make the first move. And it's INCREDIBLY frustrating to give out signals and the guy to do nothing. In fact, it makes you believe the guy has no interest and then the girl gets turned off you. So the next time a girl gives you a look that lingers a little longer than usual, or brushes against you, or finds some reason to touch you, like the knee trick - then feckin well do something! you don't have to smack the gob on her straight off, but return the gesture and amp it up - if she lays her hand on your arm, do it back and leave it a little longer or give her a gently squeeze, get close to her and look her in the eyes...just keep returning the signals and a little stronger and the kiss will happen!

LegacyUser

If you're not one for kissing in front of your mates, then a whisper of 'wanna get some fresh air' is the international language for 'let's go outside and make out'.