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getting back in the game

  • 12-01-2011 4:56am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi everyone,

    I'm wondering if i'm normal at the moment. A bit of backstory, broke up with my boyfriend of 2 and a half years in june, horibble break-up, tears, my life is over, the usual heart break malarky. Eventually felt like i was over him and the relationship 2 or 3 months ago but now i have no urge to meet new guys or go near a new relationship, i'm not unhappy or anything like that i feel quite settled in my single status at the moment. But my friends most of which are attatched think i must be miserable being single and that i'm just putting on a brave face.

    Is it ok to be single and want to be single?!


Comments

  • #2
    Uriel.
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,062 ✭✭✭Uriel.


    Of course, it is perfectly ok and normal.

    The most important thing is that you are happy in yourself. You do the things you want to do etc...

    You are in the best position of all, you can enjoy yourself, do the things you want etc... and not have the responsibility of thinking about someone else and their needs.

    You are not desperately running around looking for a partner and the chances are you will find someone out of the blue which in my experience has a better chance of being a good/happy relationship than if you were searching for the first guy to jump into a relationship with.

    Don't worry about what your friends think, maybe have a word with them. Tell them you are happy with your life's current set up. They'll see that you are happy with your lot at the moment anyway - perhaps they already have and are jealous.


  • #3
    [-0-]
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,981 ✭✭✭[-0-]


    I was with someone for 4 years and when we broke up I didn't get into another relationship for nearly 5 years - by choice. It's totally normal. You'll do it when it's right for you. It's very important to wait until you have the interest again, because if you don't and you rush into something with someone for the sake of it then it will more than likely just end and you'll be miserable again.


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks guys for the replies,

    I appreciate it, i think normal is the wrong word, more like content in the feeling of single. i really do enjoy it though not having responsibility for other persons feelings and the freedom to do what you please without questions asked. It's wired though because when i was in my relationship i couldnt imagine being alone and the feelings of lonliness. i do worry that i'll let an opportunity pass me by not because i'm not ready but i literally dont want to but hey why worry when i havent felt this good in years so those who just break up it really does get better, it really does!


  • #5
    Peanut2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭Peanut2011


    OP, only you can decide if you are happy or not the way you are. That should be the only thing that matters here.

    When one is in the relationship especially in the long term one, everything you do takes in consideration of the other person so it's understandable that being single would have been somewhat unimaginable.

    At the same time, once one gets over the usual heartbreak and so on, one might just like being "free" as it may. Doing what they want, when they want it.

    I've went trough that stage and I was quite busy in my life, was quite happy. At the beginning you think life is over but that as you recover you start doing things you enjoy and like the freedom.

    However, when you meet someone that takes your interest that will all change. Does not mean you have to be out there looking for him. A lot of people think they must be out there constantly, but that in some cases is desperation and fear they will never find what they are looking for.

    I'd say enjoy the life as it is, if that makes you happy. At the end of the day your happiness is the priority to you.


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