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Another casuality of a breakup?

  • 11-01-2011 10:11pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Apologies firstly if this sounds a little pathetic but I need your advice to handle a social situation. My ex and I broke up last January ago after a long and difficult
    relationship. He left me and it took me a long time to get over it. Things between us have been strained since and we haven't spoken.
    So the other thing is When you are with someone for that length of time, you have a lot of mutual acquaintences.
    Since the summer, our mutual girl friends have made me feel very uncomfortable when I meet them socially which hasn't been very often but things pop up now and then.
    I don't know if I am imagining it or what but before they would have been friendly. Its so obvious even others around me notice it. The mutual guy friends have never changed. I hear he hasn't met anyone
    and I'm currently dating but no one special but that's not common knowledge. I guess my question is would my ex have told stories
    about me that aren't pleasant? As much as a s*** he was at the end, I don't think he would. I hate the atmosphere and I actually get
    nervous if I think I might see them. I think it affects my mood when I see them so the other piece of advice I'm looking for is how should
    I behave or not if I see them again. We're all in our early 30s so I am really surprised to be feeling like this. If people have been in this situation before I'd love to hear
    how you have handled it. Thanks XXXXX


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Ive found that in situations where for whatever reason, friendships become awkward, the worst thing you can do is overanalyise why its happened. You can tie yourself in knots wondering who said what to whom and what is going on behind your back.

    So whether your ex said anything or not is irrelevant. What these girls think is also irrelevant. If you meet them, take them at face value. You smile and chat and behave as if all is normal. Unless its open hostility that youre faced with, when it becomes time to remove those people from your life.

    I have faced a situation like this, but not from a break up. Some distance was needed from those people for a while, but without harsh words or ultimatums. It needed time for everything to readadjust. Slowly once the dust had settled from the original problem, the friendships were rekindled. Confrontation, I think, would only have made things worse, accusations, once out of your mouth, cant be unsaid.


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