shoplifting dilemma

LegacyUser

A friend of mine has just been caught shoplifting. It wasn't much- just a pair of tights. She does not know what came over her. She has never done anything like it before. When she was caught the manager ogre the shop took her to his office and showed her the video recording. He was about to call the guards. She begged and begged him not to get the police involved. He told her if she comes back tomorrow evening when the shop is closing, wearing a blue pleated skirt and a white blouse, he will consider what he will do. She is testified. She has a good job and comes from a respectable family. She does not want to go to jail. I don't know what to say to her.

mrpink6789

wow seriously? thats well dodgy. i'd try and catch him out, pretend like she is going through with it but get it on tape and then use his blackmail against him. what a wan*er. yes your friend shouldnt have shoplifted but what he is doing is pure scumbag.

Neyite

Go to jail over a pair of tights? unlikely, considering that rapists in this country get suspended sentences. A fine, if it ever gets that far would be my uneducated guess.
I would advise her to go to the gardai for advice on this if it were my friend. Better yet, ask a garda to accompany her to the shop tomorrow evening. The garda will be wearing the blue the owner seems to like so much:).

But under no circumstances should she go back on her own to that shop.

Would you ask over on the Legal Discusion forum ?- they might have more advice.

Acoshla

He's playing on her fear, she should no more go near him in that shop when it's closing, she'll have much bigger problems than stealing a pair of tights if she's there alone with him dressed up how he wants her.

Tell her not to go, he will probably not do anything further, realising she has copped onto his disgusting attempt at blackmail. If he did call her or whatever she can just tell the guards what happened, it's up to the shop/manager to press charges if he wanted to (but you won't go to jail for a pair of tights) but I doubt he'd have the nerve to bring it all up if what he said is known.

spinandscribble

just a thought.

If she did turn up with the gardai tomorrow or even if she didn't turn up but informed the police, the police would find it suspicious it took the manager a few days to contact them over the incident and probably side with your friend and ignore the incident.

I suspect he'd deny it all and leave it.

Billy7878

screw the one pair of tights, get onto the cops and stage a honey trap and she could own that shop at some stage in the future, endless pairs of tights

calex71

No way in hell the pal will get jail for nicking a pair of tights. It may go to court and cause embarrassment etc but no way your pal is getting locked up for it.

questions that come to mind since it's not in the hands of the law, are did she give a name and address / contact info ? If not then all is well.

Cheap Thrills!

Tell her just never go back to that shop. Problem solved. The CCTV footage is probably brutal anyway.

He's full of sh!t.

Monkey Allen

Your friend has a moral responsibility to report this guy as he could take advantage of others in this situation. It'll become a bit public I would think. But she'd actually be a hero.

tenchi-fan

Your friend shouldn't go near the shop again. Tell her to write in a diary details of the entire incident including times.

Just FYI... if your friend shoplifts, I don't think her word counts for much. She could be lying about the whole incident, or just the part about the manager and the skirt.

Don't get too involved in your friend's drama.

jimmycrackcorm

Monkey Allen wrote: »

Your friend has a moral responsibility to report this guy as he could take advantage of others in this situation. It'll become a bit public I would think. But she'd actually be a hero.

He has cctv evidence and so far she just has a deniable story.

I don't think she has to go back as the Gardai weren't there and then.

Monkey Allen

jimmycrackcorm wrote: »

He has cctv evidence and so far she just has a deniable story.

I don't think she has to go back as the Gardai weren't there and then.

You missed my point. It needs to be reported and this guy needs to be made aware of for the sake of some young and naive teenager who swipes a pair of tights in the future.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies. She does not want to go near the guards. She says they ate against her family because her brother gave evidence against a detective in court a few years ago. It is the first i have heard of it. She is at work today in a blue pleated skirt that is a size too big. She must have borrowed it from her sister. She never wears skirts to work either so she is attracting notice.she says the cctv is crystal clear.

Jo King

Neyite wrote: »

Would you ask over on the Legal Discusion forum ?- they might have more advice.

The legal discussion forum does not allow legal advice to be given. without giving specific legal advice, delay in reporting a crime to the guards, does not mean that the guards cannot and will not prosecute. Some guards like prosecuting these crimes,they are easy to prove, and make the guards statistics look good. the garda will be seen to have successfully detected and prosecuted an offence under the theft act.the shop manager may well have a relationship with the guards, from reporting other thefts.it cannot be assumed that the shop manager will come out of this the worse.
The o/p may not be getting the full story. I wonder if there have in fact been previous incidents. the story about the brother does not seem believable.

Wompa1

concerned friend wrote: »

Thanks for all the replies. She does not want to go near the guards. She says they ate against her family because her brother gave evidence against a detective in court a few years ago. It is the first i have heard of it. She is at work today in a blue pleated skirt that is a size too big. She must have borrowed it from her sister. She never wears skirts to work either so she is attracting notice.she says the cctv is crystal clear.

If she doesn't go through with it and doesn't show up what will happen? The guy will turn the tape over to the gardai and they will ask why he only reported it now...your friend sounds like she's telling tails to be honest. I don't believe that garbage about the giving evidence..maybe she wants to screw a store manager and convince herself she's a victim rather than a slut

Kimia

Yes, I agree, something is very odd about this story. OP , I don't know if I would believe your friend. It's all very far fetched.

LegacyUser

She is not the type to screw around. She wants to meet me privately at lunchtime.

Cheap Thrills!

I'd say the story is a bag of sh!te to be honest too. It's like a bad soap opera plot.

If she shoplifts, you can be sure this wasn't the first time. So I'd say that's a lie.

Funny also that the supposed pervert asked her to wear a specific piece of clothing that she/her sister has at home....

It's all too convenient OP. I wouldn't pay a blind bit of attention to it.

I think your friend is attention seeking. On the off-chance that any of it is true and she is that gullible, it's not your problem.

Peanut2011

As unbelievable as this story does sound, if there is any truth in it it's a very serious issue!

Anyone being taken the advantage off is very serious matter. OP I would suggest your friend does not do what they were asked to and forgets the whole incident.

In the unlikely case that the shoplifting incident is passed on to the Garda and they do decide to prosecute the most you will get is a slap on the wrist. Meaning they might ask you to attend the Garda interview and take your friends details.

This is providing this is first time your friend done this. This would mean she would be on the system and if ever caught again might face charges, but for something as minor as that and especially if it's first offence is unlikely as courts are too busy.

Furthermore I guess the age your friend is will be very much a consideration here too. Your friend really has nothing to worry about, however if the request to her was true she might be in trouble even more if she complies.

If anything happened while she was there after hours could be seen consensual and that would be with her for life.

Let this be a one of those life lessons and move on.

Neyite

Jo King wrote: »

The legal discussion forum does not allow legal advice to be given.

I was not suggesting legal advice, apologies if my post was vague on that. I am aware that the forum does not permit it. I merely meant generic advice, such as you gave in the rest of the post.

Kosseegan

Peanut2011 wrote: »

As unbelievable as this story does sound, if there is any truth in it it's a very serious issue!


In the unlikely case that the shoplifting incident is passed on to the Garda and they do decide to prosecute the most you will get is a slap on the wrist. Meaning they might ask you to attend the Garda interview and take your friends details.

Let this be a one of those life lessons and move on.

This is very dangerous advice. I saw a guy prosecuted for stealing a bottleof wine worth 5 euro. Most of these cases result in a guilty plea and only take a few minutes of court time. Apart from a few areas of the country the district courts have plenty of time.
Even the publicity of a hearing would be dreadful for someone from a respectable background.

Peanut2011

Kosseegan wrote: »

This is very dangerous advice. I saw a guy prosecuted for stealing a bottleof wine worth 5 euro. Most of these cases result in a guilty plea and only take a few minutes of court time. Apart from a few areas of the country the district courts have plenty of time.
Even the publicity of a hearing would be dreadful for someone from a respectable background.

One thing I did mention and you chose to delete was:

This is providing this is first time your friend done this. This would mean she would be on the system and if ever caught again might face charges, but for something as minor as that and especially if it's first offence is unlikely as courts are too busy.

I did not say they would not however it is highly unlikely. The person you saw prosecuted could have been "known" to the GARDA.

Each case is unique!

LegacyUser

I met her at lunchtime. She was shaking. She is adamant she does not want the uncertainty of not knowing whether the guards will call to her house to arrest her. I am a bit suspicious that something did happen before. She seems to know a about summons and stuff that i haven't a clue about. I don't think she is attention seeking. She normally never wears anything that does not fit perfectly. She is in her late twenties.

Kosseegan

Peanut2011 wrote: »

One thing I did mention and you chose to delete was:



I did not say they would not however it is highly unlikely. The person you saw prosecuted could have been "known" to the GARDA.

Each case is unique!

You said "the most they would get is a slap on the wrist", nothing about the fact that something worse might happen, unlikely as it might seem. The consequences of a conviction for even a trivial theft are very serious. No visa to enter the U.S. for example. No possibility of employment in the public service in the future for another.

Peanut2011

So Kosseegan, are you saying to OP her friend should go back to the shop after hours dressed in requested attire?



OP, the best you can do is to accompany your friend if she decides to go back, however I must say in my opinion I would not suggest she does at all, no matter what the consequence is.

Oryx

He didnt say she had to go alone, did he? She goes, but brings a chaperone. End of any possible problem with a letcherous store manager. See what the guy wants to do (re prosecution). Then let the cards fall as they may. She stole, best thing is to fess up and hope for the best. If she does have a history you dont know about, thats something she has to deal with too.

Chucky the tree

concerned friend wrote: »

I met her at lunchtime. She was shaking. She is adamant she does not want the uncertainty of not knowing whether the guards will call to her house to arrest her. I am a bit suspicious that something did happen before. She seems to know a about summons and stuff that i haven't a clue about. I don't think she is attention seeking. She normally never wears anything that does not fit perfectly. She is in her late twenties.

Not much you can do then if she'd rather suck his cock then risk a very unlikely conviction. If I was you I'd just avoid her or tell her your not interested in hearing about the situation if you gave her advice not to turn up.

Kosseegan

Peanut2011 wrote: »

So Kosseegan, are you saying to OP her friend should go back to the shop after hours dressed in requested attire?

That is a matter for her. She has to weigh the risks of the situation. I don't know if the o/p will be willing or able to protect her friend.

IrishEyes19

Kosseegan wrote: »

That is a matter for her. She has to weigh the risks of the situation. I don't know if the o/p will be willing or able to protect her friend.

A person with no IQ wouldnt have to take long to weigh the risks of the situation.

A) She goes to the garda, confesses gets dealt whatever punishment goes with it.

b) She turns up there with friends with her and therefore is protected. Ie she doesnt go into a room along with him. Theres no law that says she has to.

Or

c) She goes alone and god knows what happens to her.


A and B being the most risk free :rolleyes:

C

---

not a chance in hell should anyone do that.

LegacyUser

She went along, with me waiting in a nearby hotel. I had my mobile and she had hers at the ready if anything went wrong. After two hours i got a text from her saying at home. Sorted. Her phone has been switched off since.

Peanut2011

Well unfortunately it does not sound to me as if it is, however if she is happy with the outcome than there is little anyone can do.

Still believe the store manager should not be let get away with those kind of actions.

A lemon

Wow what a moron, she could have just gone in there with a tape recorder, got him to say a few lines, and then walked out. Or if there was any CCTV outside the shop, or a friend with a video camera, there would also be footage of the two meeting the day after. There's no way he would have reported this anyway, why on earth would he risk being dragged through the mud with a defense portraying him as a blackmailing sleaze OVER A PAIR OF TIGHTS! He was counting on the girl being a complete dumb-ass. She took the bait.

LegacyUser

I still don't know what happened. She arrived home in a taxi last night and went straight to her room.she tested her sister to ring in sick for her at work today. Her phones been switched off all day.

Monkey Allen

concerned friend wrote: »

She went along, with me waiting in a nearby hotel. I had my mobile and she had hers at the ready if anything went wrong. After two hours i got a text from her saying at home. Sorted. Her phone has been switched off since.

The thought of someone actually going through with that makes my stomach turn. Hope she's ok.

LegacyUser

She has not come in to work today. She has not left her room at home and has her phone switched off all the time. The skirt was not her sisters either. It is sittingvery worrying.

thebigleap

This whole story reeks of bullsh1t.

thebigleap

concerned friend wrote: »

The skirt was not her sisters either.

You mean the skirt she borrowed from her sister that was too big for her, doesn't belong to her sister after all? Fascinating stuff!

I can't wait to see where this is going.

thefeatheredcat

OP, have you called to her house and visited her? I'm not clear if you have already done so, it reads as though the information you're getting is second hand from someone else?

Rather than relying on texts/email, you are better off to put yourself out of worry and visit her at her house and get the full story from her. If you've tried that and she won't see you, insist on it. IMO it's unfair to be left in a state of worry for someone especially when you have no idea of her state and the aftermath of events such as you have described, even if it's just because of dealing with it on her own. You need to have your worry and anxieties put to ease to know she's alright in finding out for her safety.

tenchi-fan

thebigleap wrote: »

You mean the skirt she borrowed from her sister that was too big for her, doesn't belong to her sister after all? Fascinating stuff!

I can't wait to see where this is going.

Clearly she stole the skirt too. Hopefully she wasn't caught on cctv again, I'd hate if she had to return to river island in a pair of plum dungarees :rolleyes:

zxcvbnm1

Ya - this all sounds like nonsense. You're friend is probably seeking attention and to di it in this manner means she is most likely just plain nuts !

Silverfish

OP, what advice are you looking for specifically?

LegacyUser

I have been in touch with her sister. I went to the house last night. She stayed in her room and would not come out. She refused to have the doctor called. She always tells me about the clothes she buys. We often go shopping together. The whole thing is so out of character. She has not had a sick day from work in three years before this. I just don'tknow what to do or think.i can't tell her family what i know about the shoplifting.

Oryx

concerned friend wrote: »

I have been in touch with her sister. I went to the house last night. She stayed in her room and would not come out. She refused to have the doctor called. She always tells me about the clothes she buys. We often go shopping together. The whole thing is so out of character. She has not had a sick day from work in three years before this. I just don'tknow what to do or think.i can't tell her family what i know about the shoplifting.

Then your worrying about it is pretty pointless, really. If your friend doesnt want to contact anyone right now, and you feel you cant interfere, then dont. Let this situation go.

Fluorescence

To be honest, your friend sounds like a lying, attention-seeking muppet. If her story is true, then she's clearly brain-damaged if she thought going through with meeting the horny store-owner after hours was the best course of action. Either way, she's not someone I'd be overly concerned about. Dump the lying slag - who needs friends like that?

If you hadn't told us she was in her late 20s I would have guessed at 14/15 years of age.

tenchi-fan

fluorescence wrote: »

To be honest, your friend sounds like a lying, attention-seeking muppet. If her story is true, then she's clearly brain-damaged if she thought going through with meeting the horny store-owner after hours was the best course of action. Either way, she's not someone I'd be overly concerned about. Dump the lying slag - who needs friends like that?

If you hadn't told us she was in her late 20s I would have guessed at 14/15 years of age.

Op, forget everything your "friend" told you because it's clear to most people that it's a shaggy dog tale.

I'm not denying your friend has a problem, but part the problem is acting in ways to solicit sympathy and worry from other friends, namely you. She's basically manipulating you. When she decides she's had enough attention she will spring back, leaving you exhausted and confused as to what exactly happened.

You should write your friend a letter saying she should seek professional help for her problems, and cut ties until she does.

RedRoseMafia

concerned friend wrote: »

She went along, with me waiting in a nearby hotel. I had my mobile and she had hers at the ready if anything went wrong. After two hours i got a text from her saying at home. Sorted. Her phone has been switched off since.

You waited TWO hours without hearing from your friend? That's way too long in a case like this. What did you think was happening during that time? Seriously, what was the point of bringing you along with mobiles at the ready, if she didn't call you when she needed you, and you didn't call when you didn't hear from her for TWO HOURS?!

Also, if she's locked away in her room, won't talk to anyone and isn't going to work, then her family will take care of her (since you say this is unusual behavior for her). Leave it to them, it's not your problem anymore.

mikemac

Your friend sounds like an attention seeker and compulsive lier

Has she ever told you of a family bereavement that never happened? That's another common example
Try to think if similar happens in the past. You can help her or cut her out of your life

LegacyUser

I waited cos she made me promise not to do anything till she contacted m thinge, she had her finger ready to press her phone at the slightest sign of trouble.I was very anxious after half an hour but didn't dare do anything. I was surprised to get the text because we we supposed to travel home together.she has always been very reliable and sensible. We have been away on holidays togethrr a few times and she is always the sensible one. I have never known her to tell a lie, even as a joke.she does not like liars at aall.she broke up with a guy a few months ago because he told her he couldn't go on a date because he had to visit his aunt in hospital. She the discovered he had watched a football match in a pub at the very time he was supposed to be at the hospital.

Ann22

Hope if the worst is true and she went along with the creepy manager's suggestion, what's stopping him holding it over her and making her go back for more? Hope she has the sense to make sure he deletes the cctv footage.

Fluorescence

Your friend is the sensible one? The shoplifter? The one who honestly believed she'd be jailed for nicking a pair of tights? Jeez Op, if any of her story is true, then it's not your problem. Her failure to tell you she was ok when you were waiting on her in a nearby hotel, and her silence since, has told you all you need to know. She's not your problem. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself

Nevyn

Concerned friend tell your friend to go to her dr and get help, there is nothing you can do for her she need professional help.