How do I deal with it all

LegacyUser

Well, I'm a fifteen year old guy and I'm bisexual, for the last 11 months or so I've been suffering from depression, partly this is due I'm sure to the whole coming out process and general confusion over my sexuality and what direction it has been going in. Other factors contributed to, but they don't seem to be relevant at the moment.

I'll be honest, i don't know if I'm looking for advice or if i just want to get it all out.
Since well, since maybe three years ago I've had an inkling as to something 'different' about me, feeling attracted to people (guys) in ways that just wouldn't make sense to other friends of mine. but only in the last 9 months or so have I been fairly sure on where I stand, First I came out to a few close friends, then my parents and then about two months ago, my year in school. Now, the thing that confuses me is taht I'm still upset about it, even though I haven't had anything except good reactions, congratulations on my ''strength'' for coming out (what strength?? i just told a few people I'm bi, No strength there..) and a general okay reaction, I'm still upset about it, I don't particularly feel its wrong, I've never had a problem with (and neither has my family) With LGBT people. But I just can't figure out why feelings like looking at my best friend and knowing that i really do Love him, can hurt me so much. I can't seem to find the motivation to just, push past it all, and it seems to get more and more confusing each day...

I still feel uncomfortable talking about my sexuality to people, even a pshychologist I've gone to for months, and I can't help but feel that there's something seriously wrong with me. I know my parents don't care at all whether I'm gay, straight, bi, asexual, or a flippin alien. but then why does it feel like I'm scared to mention any of it to them? Maybe I'm just depressed and taht's causing me to worry about myself, or is that I'm depressed becasue I worry about myself and my sexuality?

I won't drag this on any longer, and I'm sorry if my post is confusing, I just need to get it out, and also I'm sorry if whatever advice I'm looking for is impossible to give.

ninty9er

My reaction is that if they were accepting then they will have no problem helping you through this.

I didn't come out until I was 23 and even then it was tough. Fair play. Just bring it up in conversation the next time someone asks how you are or if there's something bugging you. Your friends have probably noticed anyway if it's getting to you.

Friends will only be too happy to help where they can. Is there a designated guidance counsellor at your school?

You look at your best friend and feel love because that's normal for all really good friends, it's just normally described as loving them. I'd tear anyone to shreds if they did anything to my best friends, or even get involved if they were having issues with someone who was bothering a brother or sister of theirs. It's just a closeness.

If it's more than that then you're either going to have to wait for him to come out, or move past it. For me, my best friends are straight and I know they're off limits.

It is rough for a start, it was for me especially before I told anyone, but now it doesn't bother me anymore as they're more bothered trying to include me and "find me a gay" than worried about me hitting on one of them:D

Annasopra

have you considered going to BelongTo?

LegacyUser

Actually, yes quite a bit! when ''Growing up Gay'' was on RTE I thought about it but it really isn't the kind of thing I'm into... It was the same with like, teenage support groups for depression, I dont really like the idea of Group stuff.. i might consider it again, but Im not to sure.
Maybe I shouldn't be worrying about it all, the strange thing is, for the most part I feel perfectly comfortable with my sexuality in itself , it just seems like sometimes i ament ):

stephen_n

There is an awful lot going on there and I can feel the confusion off you just reading the post! Maybe you feel down because you expected a sense of relief when you came out, maybe not though! 15 is very young to be coming to terms with all of this, as their is so much other physical and mental change going on in your life anyway at that age. I think that as was pointed out you need to explore this with a counselor and just try to approach it without preconceptions of what is or isn't causing this anxiety! Talking helps and as johnny suggested if your in Dublin Belongto might help too, being around other teens with similar issues wouldn't hurt I'm sure!

foggy_lad

Coming out has probably been a bit of an anti-climax for you with the lack of fanfare parties etc but forget all that nonsense and be yourself whether in or out of the closet.

Give yourself lots of time to be with your friends including those who don't know or care about your sexuality as at your age you will relate much more with friends than with parents teachers counsellors etc

bisex

What's going on wrote: »

Well, I'm a fifteen year old guy and I'm bisexual, for the last 11 months or so I've been suffering from depression, partly this is due I'm sure to the whole coming out process and general confusion over my sexuality and what direction it has been going in. Other factors contributed to, but they don't seem to be relevant at the moment.

I'll be honest, i don't know if I'm looking for advice or if i just want to get it all out.
Since well, since maybe three years ago I've had an inkling as to something 'different' about me, feeling attracted to people (guys) in ways that just wouldn't make sense to other friends of mine. but only in the last 9 months or so have I been fairly sure on where I stand, First I came out to a few close friends, then my parents and then about two months ago, my year in school. Now, the thing that confuses me is taht I'm still upset about it, even though I haven't had anything except good reactions, congratulations on my ''strength'' for coming out (what strength?? i just told a few people I'm bi, No strength there..) and a general okay reaction, I'm still upset about it, I don't particularly feel its wrong, I've never had a problem with (and neither has my family) With LGBT people. But I just can't figure out why feelings like looking at my best friend and knowing that i really do Love him, can hurt me so much. I can't seem to find the motivation to just, push past it all, and it seems to get more and more confusing each day...

I still feel uncomfortable talking about my sexuality to people, even a pshychologist I've gone to for months, and I can't help but feel that there's something seriously wrong with me. I know my parents don't care at all whether I'm gay, straight, bi, asexual, or a flippin alien. but then why does it feel like I'm scared to mention any of it to them? Maybe I'm just depressed and taht's causing me to worry about myself, or is that I'm depressed becasue I worry about myself and my sexuality?

I won't drag this on any longer, and I'm sorry if my post is confusing, I just need to get it out, and also I'm sorry if whatever advice I'm looking for is impossible to give.

lad im a bit older than you, think im bisexual too. couldnt see myself sucking off a man but id like to be penetrated. so i dont know what the crack is, ive never been in a sexual situation with a man but i feel urges to. i just dont know anybody who feels the same and im scared what i should do about it, ignoring it dont help. now im watching bisex threesome porn with two men and a girl.. i justr dont know kid. hope u can be braver than me, because it wont go away.

LegacyUser

I find that, the more i think about it, the more i get confused, why is it that i feel mmore attracted towards guys then girls? should it not be equal?