Shaking hands

Jimmy Iovine

Basically this thread is an attempt to avoid doing as much study as I can for my exams. On a more serious note I just wanted to know what people's opinions were on shaking another persons hand. It's a common part of everyday life, be it at mass, before or after a football match or when doing a drug deal on the corner of the hood :P.

I hate shaking hands with someone who doesn't do it right. I have at parties in college asked someone to shake my hand again because the first one was so pathetic. I know it's silly but there was a lot of drink involved. I always greet someone with a handshake. With girls I know it'll more than likely be a hug but for my male friends and people who I'm being introduced to I always shake their hand.

My first experience of having to do a "proper" handshake was in 6th year in school. We all had to a mock interview for a job of our choice. I was being interviewed by a solicitor and naturally I was bricking it. I can't fully remember but I think I pulled it off alright.

I'm now getting to the stage where I'm finishing up in college and I'll have to go for interviews for postgrads/jobs. Along with how you are dressed I think it is incredibly important and very under-looked. It's something that I will be practising an awful lot so that it becomes second nature to me.

I did a search on Google and found some interesting things. JFK actually did a study into the perfect handshake. Apparently it's the double handshake, where the left hand is placed under the right to cup the clasped hand. I wonder has Tubridy included that in his book :pac:.

On that same site I saw a video of a handshake between the Prime Minister of Australia, John Howard, and his rival, Mark Latham, only days before the 2004 elections. Howard's ratings were at an all-time low due to the Iraq war and Latham was expected to put a good showing in and possibly win the election. A few days before the election they met at a radio station and the exchange was captured on cameras. Basically Latham shook hands very aggressively with Howard, dragging him closer to him and staring him in his eyes. Voters saw this and ended up voting for Howard. "The handshake" essentially lost him the election.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hReBMauqhrY

Another example of the impact or meaning of a handshake can be seen by George Bush when he went on stage at the G20 summit a few years back. He walked head down almost shamefully across the stage passing by Putin, Brown and Merkel. It had the look of a broken man who seemed to be losing the will to continue in the game. I almost feel sorry for him looking at it. He was the most powerful man in the world at that moment in time and he was completely ignored by every single person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hhMn3WINx8

Probably the most watched handshake in the last year or so was between John Terry and Wayne Bridge after the affair allegations surfaced. Despite being a staunch United supporter I was delighted when Bridge declined the handshake. It is petty I know but I was delighted to see him decline to shake the hand of someone he was supposed to trust and had deceived him so badly.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bw_W-A5-zoU

I guess my question to the men of TGC is what significance do you place on a handshake? Is it something that you think about or even notice when you meet someone? Would you be more inclined to shake hands with a close friend over someone who you have just met?

Sorry for the long post but I didn't think it was going to be near this length when I started out.

sam34

On topic serious answers only folks. Ive deleted some rubbish already Leave the AH stuff for AH

harvester of sorrow

Personaly i hate shaking someones hand when they only half catch your hand to shake it and barely squeeze your hand...i think you can tell alot about a persons hand shake....a handshake like the one above would give off the impression of someone not interested or "sneaky".....just my opinion.

TouchingVirus

I place a little less significance on it than you seem to imply it has with your post - it's a handshake and there are many factors in it from the relative strength of the person, method, familiarity with the person they're shaking hands with and the circumstances surrounding it.

When it goes well it gives off a great impression, when it doesn't go well and you get a limp shake or whatever then that's that. Move on, there are many ways to assess a person, handshake for me wouldn't be up there in the top 5 anyways and certainly wouldn't "lose an election" for a politician I like - they're all deceitful bastards, savage handshake or not

woolymammoth

I think handshakes definitely give / leave an impression of a person. but i'm not sure how many people pick up on it, give it any thought, or even care. Personally i would shrug off a bad handshake, but a good handshake is always noticible, and i think it can have a positive subconscious effect too on your view of the person.

and they're not difficult. you go in for the shake, you look where you're putting your hand (extremely briefly, but you don't have to try and be sneaky about the look), you clasp firmly, not tightly, and you shake.

you can't avoid shaking hands with someone who does it bad, all you can do is be good at it yourself and hope for the best. :cool: I think i saw an article on hand shaking not too long ago, will post it if i can be bothered to find it :pac:

godwin

I lived in Belgium and Holland and other parts of mainland Europe for 14years and over there shaking hands when meeting friends , friend of friends or in some cases strangers it is the done thing , especially between men , but I notice in the Uk&Ireland it's not as common

Don't mind shaking hands, hate people who do all the weird "macho" handshakes that originated in the States, wtf are they all about.

Peanut2011

harvester of sorrow wrote: »

Personaly i hate shaking someones hand when they only half catch your hand to shake it and barely squeeze your hand...i think you can tell alot about a persons hand shake....a handshake like the one above would give off the impression of someone not interested or "sneaky".....just my opinion.

Fully agree. My opinion of the person, especially a man will be influenced based on the handshake.

SugarHigh

I think people should place no importance on a handshake and I find it quite irrational how much others seem to care about it. It's basically tyre kicking but on humans instead of cars. I also blame it on badly written self help books that once everyone reads becomes a truth, so because everyone else places importance on handshakes they do infact become important which is irritating.

SugarHigh

harvester of sorrow wrote: »

Personaly i hate shaking someones hand when they only half catch your hand to shake it and barely squeeze your hand...i think you can tell alot about a persons hand shake....a handshake like the one above would give off the impression of someone not interested or "sneaky".....just my opinion.

This is like trying to judge someone based on the shape of their eyebrows.

Wouldn't a sneaky person be able to fool you with their hand shake?
Maybe it is such an infallible method of judging someone that it can't be faked even by the people who have read the same silly ameican self help articles on hand shakes that you have?

TouchingVirus

godwin wrote: »

I lived in Belgium and Holland and other parts of mainland Europe for 14years and over there shaking hands when meeting friends , friend of friends or in some cases strangers it is the done thing , especially between men , but I notice in the Uk&Ireland it's not as common

When I meet strangers I always offer my hand for a handshake, but if I know the person a nod of a head or a vocal greeting is all that's required IMO

Otis Driftwood

Limp wristed handshakes are a pet peeve of mine.

I generally greet friends that I havnt seen in a while with a handshake,for females I havnt seen in a while its generally a quick embrace with a kiss on the cheek.

I put alot of stock in a good firm hand shake,making eye contact while doing it is also very important.

Playboy

What annoys the life out of me are people who are friggin obsessed with how someone shakes your hand? Is your life so dull that you dont have anything else to think about? Do you have to affirm some kind of manly status by trying to crush the bones in other people hands?

People give limp/half handsakes because they arent really thinking about it and they dont really give a sh*t. I dont cocentrate on what kind of handshake im giving someone because I'm not foolish enough to think that such a simple gesture is going to be interpreted by any sane person as some kind of indicator of my personality.

People need to get over themselves .. if you have some kind of handshake ritual you like to perform than thats your issue. To be honest when someone tries to make a big deal out of a handshake I usually stereotype them into a group of insecure men who feel the need to assert themselves to other men.

figarofigaro

I hate when somebody tries to break my hand off when we shake hands. It doesn't make you any more of a man. It just suggests you might be trying too hard to impress.

OldGoat

A few posters here are saying that you can't judge someone by the quality of their handshake. On just a handshake alone I'd agree but the handshake is only part of the signals you are reading on meeting someone. You'll be judging them on lots of different things and you'll build up an overall impression based on all the factors of which the handshake is one.
I like men who show confidence and strength of character by offering to shake my hand.

Occasionally handshakes go wrong, mistimed, misclasped or whatever. I've been known to break the handshake off, acknowledge it's falut and re-start. A good handshake shows confidence. Firm but not crushing, single pump unless you are sympathodising or congratulating in which case you might clasp your left hand over the joined right hands to emphasise the bond.

SugarHigh

OldGoat wrote: »

A few posters here are saying that you can't judge someone by the quality of their handshake. On just a handshake alone I'd agree but the handshake is only part of the signals you are reading on meeting someone. You'll be judging them on lots of different things and you'll build up an overall impression based on all the factors of which the handshake is one.
I like men who show confidence and strength of character by offering to shake my hand.

Occasionally handshakes go wrong, mistimed, misclasped or whatever. I've been known to break the handshake off, acknowledge it's falut and re-start. A good handshake shows confidence. Firm but not crushing, single pump unless you are sympathodising or congratulating in which case you might clasp your left hand over the joined right hands to emphasise the bond.

I'm not interested in how confident someone is because it doesn't tell me anything useful about them. Confidence is only useful when dealing with an unsophisticated audience who have nothing else to go on. So for example someone who knows nothing about cars can be easily swayed by a confident salesman but someone who know what they're doing will be unaffected and be more interested in the car.

Software developers do the same thing, we speak to each other very differently then how we would to a customer who isn't well informed. There is no point in trying to bûll**** another dev who knows what he's talking about because it won't work but you can pretty much say anything to the customer and if you are confident they will lap it up.

Playboy

OldGoat wrote: »

A few posters here are saying that you can't judge someone by the quality of their handshake. On just a handshake alone I'd agree but the handshake is only part of the signals you are reading on meeting someone. You'll be judging them on lots of different things and you'll build up an overall impression based on all the factors of which the handshake is one.
I like men who show confidence and strength of character by offering to shake my hand.
Occasionally handshakes go wrong, mistimed, misclasped or whatever. I've been known to break the handshake off, acknowledge it's falut and re-start. A good handshake shows confidence. Firm but not crushing, single pump unless you are sympathodising or congratulating in which case you might clasp your left hand over the joined right hands to emphasise the bond.

It means nothing of the sort. There are just too many variables to try and make any judgement from the strenght of someone's handshake... people have been reading too many self help books. The only thing a strong handshake indicates is that someone is conciously thinking about the gesture and trying to use it to give some impression of themselves or their character to the recipient.

Handshakers fall into two catgories .. those who think it means something and those who dont. Those who think it means something try and say something with the gesture rather than just offer a simple greeting. People who think it says something about anothers persons character really need a reality check .. try talking to someone rather than stereotyping people over such a simple gesture.

OldGoat

SugarHigh wrote: »

I'm not interested in how confident someone is because it doesn't tell me anything useful about them. Confidence is only useful when dealing with an unsophisticated audience who have nothing else to go on. So for example someone who knows nothing about cars can be easily swayed by a confident salesman but someone who know what they're doing will be unaffected and be more interested in the car.

Software developers do the same thing, we speak to each other very differently then how we would to a customer who isn't well informed. There is no point in trying to bûll**** another dev who knows what he's talking about because it won't work but you can pretty much say anything to the customer and if you are confident they will lap it up.

We all speak differently to colleagues then to someone who doesn’t know our trade. In-trade jargon helps get things achieved. Yet if I'm about to drop €10,000 on a car I want to talk with someone who'll look me in the eye, talk with authority and know his trade. If the salesman's introductory handshake is clumsy, hesitant or half-hearted then my confidence in that salesman’s ability to give me what I want is going to drop. Whereas if the handshake is firm and friendly then I'll be more open to a sale. Needless to say I'd not be handing over my cash on the strength of just a handshake and I doubt that 99.99% of us would but I know I'll build a better relationship with the salesman.
However, all the above is based on sales tactics. Sales men - be that cars or software - learn how best to approach their clients and sell their wears. In a social setting the handshake works the same way, an a guide to the personality of the perwon you are shaking hands with. If in a pub I'm introduced to someone new I'll form a first opinion about them based on their openness, stance, appearance, approach, handshake and so on. Someone who doesn’t shake my offered hand will register lower in my assessment of that aspect of their character. Who knows, perhaps they have dermatitis and aren’t shaking hands out of consideration for me but that is something I'd learn later and would re-adjust my opinion but the handshake is all about first impressions.
Shaking hands with friends is to reinforce the bonds of friendship. Physical contact binds us closer together, we are social animals. Handshakes, hugs and kisses all around - or is that just me?

Playboy wrote: »

It means nothing of the sort. There are just too many variables to try and make any judgement from the strenght of someone's handshake... people have been reading too many self help books. The only thing a strong handshake indicates is that someone is conciously thinking about the gesture and trying to use it to give some impression of themselves or their character to the recipient.

Handshakers fall into two catgories .. those who think it means something and those who dont. Those who think it means something try and say something with the gesture rather than just offer a simple greeting. People who think it says something about anothers persons character really need a reality check .. try talking to someone rather than stereotyping people over such a simple gesture.

Did you read what I wrote? "...the handshake is only part of the signals you are reading on meeting someone. You'll be judging them on lots of different things and you'll build up an overall impression based on all the factors of which the handshake is one."

harvester of sorrow

SugarHigh wrote: »

This is like trying to judge someone based on the shape of their eyebrows.

Wouldn't a sneaky person be able to fool you with their hand shake?
Maybe it is such an infallible method of judging someone that it can't be faked even by the people who have read the same silly ameican self help articles on hand shakes that you have?

:eek:Never read a self help book in my life...
If someone is only willing to give you a half ass limp handshake,then just dont bother,why even stick your hand out or go thru with the gesture if they dont show any interst or couldnt give a s**t,just dont bother and keep your hands in your pockets.
:Dself help books!:D

Playboy

OldGoat wrote: »

Did you read what I wrote? "...the handshake is only part of the signals you are reading on meeting someone. You'll be judging them on lots of different things and you'll build up an overall impression based on all the factors of which the handshake is one."

Yes I did .. thats why I highlighted in bold the particular comments that I didnt agree with. Of course everybody will form an intial impression based on their overall body language and how they speak .. but this thread isnt about that. Its about how people take a simple gesture like a handshake in isolation and give it too much credence when trying to form an overall impression of a person.

Unfortunately you have loads of nutters walking around who seem to think that by crushing the bones in the hand of everyone they meet (regardless of the context) that somehow gives people the impression that they are confident and have strong character... which imo it does nothing of the sort and in fact has the oppisite effect.

Captain Commie

I cant stand limp wristed handshakes, a solid handshake is the mark of a man. I find people that have a limp handshake to be in-sinscere and not always trustworthy, almost as if they have something to hide.

I always go for a handshake. Not because I'm trying to exude confidence, sell something, or any other mad stuff, I just think it's a good ice breaker.

I never shake hands with people I'm friends with. I think I'd feel awkward. I just do it for new people, or people that I only see once in a long time.

I don't go in for the hug with girls, either. Nor a kiss or such. Handshake again. I give a firm, but not painful, handshake to guys and I give a limp, soft enough one to women ( :pac: ).


As per the forum name, I think it's a gentlemanly thing to do. A warm smile and a handshake can be all it takes to make you feel a lot more comfortable and at ease around someone.


Odd thing you may not know, in Pro-Wrestling (WWE, for example, though also smaller indy companies, or our own IwW and such) it's customary to shake the hand of everyone involved with the show that you meet when you arrive at the venue. Not shaking someone's hand is considered hugely disrespectful.

harvester of sorrow

innovated wrote: »

I cant stand limp wristed handshakes, a solid handshake is the mark of a man. I find people that have a limp handshake to be in-sinscere and not always trustworthy, almost as if they have something to hide.

+1

Playboy

innovated wrote: »

I cant stand limp wristed handshakes, a solid handshake is the mark of a man. I find people that have a limp handshake to be in-sinscere and not always trustworthy, almost as if they have something to hide.

With all due respect I think thats a mental attitude!

Jimmy Iovine

Glad to see my thread is generating so many replies. I disagree with what Playboy said there about it being a mental thing.

It's always said that we form our impression of a person within the first half minute or so. So naturally without realising it we look things like the cleanliness of a persons shoes, whether they have the confidence to look you straight in the eye, how they address you and, inevitably, what kind of a handshake they have.

As Oldgoat said if I was handing over money to a salesperson for a car or whatever then I would definitely be paying attention to his handshake. I think it shows a great deal about a person. It helps instill confidence in sealing the deal without worrying that he/she is an incompetent person.

Clearly I don't go around basing all of my opinions on people on the quality of their handshakes. But there are certainly times when I feel it is appropriate to do so. In a business or formal situation I would nearly view a limp handshake as worse than having a scruffy suit or shoes. If they don't care enough to give a proper handshake then they mightn't care enough to give their full attention to your business interests.

Handsome Bob

A limp handshake I can let pass, but a limp handshake combined with looking away when I'm shaking your hand doesn't impress me. I don't get annoyed or anything, but it's a poor first impression to give. And yes, it does scream disinterest to me.

Firm (but gentle), swift and eye contact. It's not hard people.

BrianD3

I was trying to think of any memorable/controversial handshakes and remembered this one at at the end of a Darts World Championship match

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iPpcYVvQDU

mfceiling

If someone offers their hand to shake "man the fcuk up" and shake it.

Don't put out a limp, 11 year old girls paw...shake the fcuking hand and stand up tall and have some pride in yourself.

It's a greeting...i'm happy to meet you/see you again.

Tony Blair (not my cup of tea) used to put out his hand palm down to get a better grip than the person he was offering his hand too. Think about that....how much grip can you give when your hand is palm up?

TBH i'd have tried my best to break blair's hand into pieces!!

Playboy

Some serious cavemen knocking around the TGC lol. That people associate concepts like confidence, character, being a man etc. with a simple greeting gesture is crazy. I really dont know in what warped universe people pick up and perpetuate these ideas. Do people really have that much to prove? Your a man .. yes you are clap clap! look at me I can squeeze your hand hard that means I'm the Alpha around here

I give a regular handshake and really dont put any thought into it .. I find it really disconcerting that so many people think it means so much.

Otis Driftwood

Its not about being a man or any of that crap Playboy so stop trying to put words into peoples mouths.A firm hand shake is about respect for the recipient,whether its a first time meeting or catching up with an old friend,nothing more,nothing less.You are entitled to your own opinion but you arent entitled to insult others for theirs.

Playboy

nedtheshed wrote: »

Its not about being a man or any of that crap Playboy so stop trying to put words into peoples mouths.A firm hand shake is about respect for the recipient,whether its a first time meeting or catching up with an old friend,nothing more,nothing less.You are entitled to your own opinion but you arent entitled to insult others for theirs.

Did you read the post previous to mine? I didnt put any words in anyones mouth .. everything I said was said by someone on this thread. No one has yet to offer any kind of explanation as to why a handshake is supposed to mean the things they say they do.

If you think a firm handshake is a sign of respect then thats fine but dont assume because someone doesnt give you a firm handshake back that they mean it as a sign of disrespect.

My caveman jibe was to the post immedietly above mine and was meant light heartedly and not as an insult

mikemac

Jimmy Iovine wrote: »

Another example of the impact or meaning of a handshake can be seen by George Bush when he went on stage at the G20 summit a few years back. He walked head down almost shamefully across the stage passing by Putin, Brown and Merkel. It had the look of a broken man who seemed to be losing the will to continue in the game. I almost feel sorry for him looking at it. He was the most powerful man in the world at that moment in time and he was completely ignored by every single person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hhMn3WINx8

That video was misunderstood by so many.
Without going all political in the TGC, the reason President Bush did not shake anyone's hand is because he had already met all of these before that photo shoot.

He wasn't being ignored, in fact he as met by the G20 leaders before anyone else did! Any excuse for the bashers, I'm not calling you a basher OP, more CNN and their corporate clones

Explained here,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNOsxs3HJ_4

As for me, yeah I struggle with the whole confidence, eye contact, weak handshake deal. Am working on it though and reading this thread with interest

Rud

Otis Driftwood

Playboy wrote: »

What annoys the life out of me are people who are friggin obsessed with how someone shakes your hand? Is your life so dull that you dont have anything else to think about? Do you have to affirm some kind of manly status by trying to crush the bones in other people hands?

People give limp/half handsakes because they arent really thinking about it and they dont really give a sh*t. I dont cocentrate on what kind of handshake im giving someone because I'm not foolish enough to think that such a simple gesture is going to be interpreted by any sane person as some kind of indicator of my personality.

People need to get over themselves .. if you have some kind of handshake ritual you like to perform than thats your issue. To be honest when someone tries to make a big deal out of a handshake I usually stereotype them into a group of insecure men who feel the need to assert themselves to other men.

Playboy wrote: »

With all due respect I think thats a mental attitude!

Playboy wrote: »

Some serious cavemen knocking around the TGC lol. That people associate concepts like confidence, character, being a man etc. with a simple greeting gesture is crazy. I really dont know in what warped universe people pick up and perpetuate these ideas. Do people really have that much to prove? Your a man .. yes you are clap clap! look at me I can squeeze your hand hard that means I'm the Alpha around here

I give a regular handshake and really dont put any thought into it .. I find it really disconcerting that so many people think it means so much.

Playboy wrote: »

I didnt put any words in anyones mouth .. everything I said was said by someone on this thread.

So the bolded parts arent putting words into other posters mouths or being insulting?

Where did anyone say that a good hand shake is about being an alpha male,there is a huge difference in a firm handshake and a bone crushing one.

Being condescending is the same thing as being insulting.

Playboy

No they arent putting words in posters mouths .. And to be honest you are being more than a bit one sided here. There are plenty of posts here that insinuate that people with a limp or weak handshake are somehow sneaky, untrustworthy, unmanly, and disrespectful .. in fact thats what the entire thread is about. So forgive me if I think that that is a mental attitude with absolutely no foundation. If people are entitled to that opinion then surely I'm entitled to the opinion that people who place too much emphasis on a simple greeting by squeezing your hand are doing it to affirm some kind of manly status and that probably stems from insecurity. I'd wager that my claim has probably more basis in reality.

Owen

I like handshakes. The firm sort, lasts about 2 seconds, plenty of eye contact, job done. In Europe, everytime you meet your friends you shake hands, it's normal - and it's nice. Here in Ireland, we surround ourselves in a little bubble of personal space and generally only shake hands if we buy a car, or sell a pig (Spitting in hand optional).

And don't get me started on the C Montgomery Burns limp wristed handshakes out there ...

OldGoat

Playboy wrote: »

I'd wager that my claim has probably more basis in reality.

I'd take that wager.

Handshaking, Gender, Personality and First Impressions is a study of handshake and the percieved inference from it undertaken by the University of Alabama.
It lays out how the handshake analystis were trained to look for traits in handshakes such as the completness of the grip, dryness, strength, duration, vigor and so on. After a month of training they were intorduced to a subject group and rated the groups individual handshakes. The group then underwent standard personality tests. The handshake observations were then compaired to the results of the personality tests and the conclusions drawn.

Conclusion
It would be something of an overstatement to claim that a person's handshake provides a window to his or her soul. However, we did find that handshakes are stable and consistent across time and gender, at least within the limitations of this study. Also, handshaking characteristics are related to both objective personality measures and the impressions people form about each other. Given what we know about the potency of first impressions, it might be a good idea to heed the recommendations of experts on handshaking etiquette and try to make that first handshake a firm one.

SugarHigh

All that study showed was that people make first impressions based on hand shakes, it hasn't convinced me that these impressions are correct and justified.

JackM_79

This one came to mind straight away when i saw this thread -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3vEOSkk5AM

Playboy

OldGoat wrote: »

I'd take that wager.

Handshaking, Gender, Personality and First Impressions is a study of handshake and the percieved inference from it undertaken by the University of Alabama.
It lays out how the handshake analystis were trained to look for traits in handshakes such as the completness of the grip, dryness, strength, duration, vigor and so on. After a month of training they were intorduced to a subject group and rated the groups individual handshakes. The group then underwent standard personality tests. The handshake observations were then compaired to the results of the personality tests and the conclusions drawn.

Link wont work for me? Summary isnt really clear... confirms what we are both saying in a way. I presume its trying to correlate certain 'objective' personality traits such as introvert/extrovert etc. in relation to a handshake. Aside from the fact that personality psychology is a minefield with no clear consensus on what personality is or how you can measure it it would be interesting to see how they got around all the potential issues with such a study.

For instance a handshake as you stated earlier is only one small part of forming an overall impression such as how a person looks, what they wear, how tall they are, attractiveness etc. Also you have an issue with context .. people potentially shake hands differently with different people depending on formality, how familiar you are with somebody, status of the person, do you like the person. It's also dependent on attention.. are you conciously making an effort to shake a persons hand or is it just a reflex action.

Maybe they could have gotten people to shake hands through a wall so they dont see each other but then you are losing any kind of deception opportunity as people would then be focused on how they shake hands and thus you will probably find that it is not a natural handshake. IF people have an idea that their handhshake is being examined then all of a sudden everyone will have a firm grip etc.

I would still maintain that people who make a concious effort to shake a hand i.e that their attention is focused on the gesture, will more than likely be trying to give the recipient some impression of their personality. Therefore people will grip hard and look someone in the eye .. strong grip to indicate strenght and look in the eye to challenge/show no fear. But for a large portion of people a hanshake is not a concious event... they dont think about doing it so therefore you are unlikely to recieve a similar response. What happens is you have people making a concious effort to do something in a certain way judging an unconcious response from someone to mean something more than it is.

In isolation a handshake really means very little .. the only handshakes I notice are handshakes from people who put some effort into it .. I can only assume 'why' they are putting effort (some a lot more than others) into it. Obviously they are trying to communicate something to me .. like ned said it could be respect but in my experience it is to lay down some kind alpha male marker. I think its easier to make assumptions about a persons personality when they try and communicate with you verbally or non-verbally rather than making assumptions when a person isnt trying to communicate something through a gesture.

scientific1982

SugarHigh wrote: »

I think people should place no importance on a handshake and I find it quite irrational how much others seem to care about it. It's basically tyre kicking but on humans instead of cars. I also blame it on badly written self help books that once everyone reads becomes a truth, so because everyone else places importance on handshakes they do infact become important which is irritating.

I agree. I dont place any importance on a handshake. It tells you fcuk all about a persons character.

Caliden

A good solid handshake makes me respect someone more but if some chap tries to crush my hand he will get the same crushing handshake in return.
This once led to a very long and painful handshake (for both parties) when some guy took offence to a bit of his own medicine.