Bumped into my ex

LegacyUser

Op here. So i'm back again for some serious help. I'm in bits tonight. I had the unfortunate pleasure of bumping into my not once, not twice but THREE times today. I nearly had a heart attack when i seen her the first time so you could imagine i was after three times. She ignored me of course. But whats getting to me is very worrying, this girl is asolutly beautiful, i mean model material.
Its absolutly killing me that I know i'll never get a girl like her again. I have been feeling suicidal lately which scares me. I am already in counselling and have started anti-depressents. Anyone out there been through similar experience?

Princess Peach

The first time I bumped into my ex after he dumped me, I made myself get sick and then went home crying! He ignored me that time too, but the next time I saw him he came up and chatted to me. We're sorta friends now, but it still hurts to see him, I still get that little jolt in my heart!

I made a good effort to be his friend because I still want to get back with him. But I honestly think it would have been better for me if he just ignored me. I know you feel just awful that she ignored you, but every time my ex talks to me or texts me, I always get a bit of hope that he will want me back. I think in the long run, not talking to her will help you get over her better. I know it doesnt seem like much now!

The first time seeing the ex is always the worst, but it will get easier over time. You've taken big steps in taking care of yourself, well done and keep up the good work!

chicken fingers

Some frank advice, hope it helps.

Honestly you need to man up a bit.
She ignored you, I guess you broke up on very bad terms, let it go.
You CAN get a girl like her again, or better yet you can meet a better (hotter, nicer, etc) girlfriend.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, forget "suicidal" feelings and anti depressants.
One thing is for sure, you will not attract a nice girl if you mope around and have suicidal thoughts. Girls can sense that you´re not yourself and acting weirdly and will steer clear. Anti-Ds can ruin personalities, they have a knack of turning people into bores.
Try not to become dependant on them.
Its just a girl. You will laugh at her expense with your next girlfriend.

Man up and get back on the horse and you should be grand.

mercer

i'm going to offer some advice to counteract the last piece of advice.
i studied psycho-pharmacology for a long time and anti-depressants DO NOT turn people into "bores" .you're doing the right thing by getting counselling, anti-depressants will work in that they will get you over the hump so to speak.

also you don't need to man up... you need to look after yourself. however amount of time you need to focus on you and getting into a better frame of mind. and if you feel down then thats fine, its part of the healing process.

take each day as it comes, focus on yourself. admit there will be bad days but they will be easier to handle and good days will return. hope you start to feel better soon x

Peanut2011

Well one very important thing is how long you were together and how long ago did you break up?

On the other side, what ever it was that broke the two of you up who cares. Look after what is there now. Fair play and well done for taking the first step of going to counselling. This will help. Time heals so you just need some time.

Regarding her, you say you know you will never have a girl like that as she was so pretty as you say model material. Sorry to say, but looks are not everything.

Before anyone comes back and say that it's untrue all I want to say is "beauty is in the eyes of a beholder". Also their physical atractivness is no way to measure what you have. If she was emotionally cold and so on..

You need to work on putting the past being left behind you and and that takes time, but than you will see it differently.

You need a right woman, not a supermodel! It seems to me that you also lack self confidence for whatever reason. Your counselling will help you with that too..

Be strong and give it time!

LegacyUser

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?p=69686935
Hi OP here, I actually posted in this section, but my reply must of being given a new location, anyway thanks for replying. If you wish to know the details of what happened to me check out the above.
I have tried to 'man up' believe me, its very very hard to just forget and move on after what I went through, sorry if thats sounds like 'oh no poor me', but it was a fu*king disgrace what she did. While she seemingly happily moves on, I'm stuck feeling terrible. While I should hate her guts, I dont, I am probably very much in love with this psycho

tommy21

chicken fingers wrote: »

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, forget "suicidal" feelings and anti depressants.
One thing is for sure, you will not attract a nice girl if you mope around and have suicidal thoughts. Girls can sense that you´re not yourself and acting weirdly and will steer clear. Anti-Ds can ruin personalities, they have a knack of turning people into bores.

Wrong sir.

dunbar

Hey OP,

It really does get easier, i was going with a girl for 3 years, i was head over heals, things seemed ok, then one day she dumped me, and i was a great boyfriend!(not tooting my own horn but toot toot). When we broke up, she used to ring my phone when she out with new guys to bragg, send pics to my email to torture me, she knew how much i was hurting. I found out a year after that she was shag*ing her best friends boyfriend for a year of our relationship!

I cant say that i didn't feel slightly suicidal about it, but i made the decision that i didn't want to hurt over her anymore, so i sought help from a councellor. About a year and a half after this i met my current GF, I'm more happy now, which at the time could never have felt possible. All i can say is, life does go on, it may not seem like it now, but it does. Don't do anything drastic, think of all the people in your life that would miss you, and need you. Your still adjusting, it'll take awhile but you can do it.

Suicide destroys families, my uncle did it,and my gran then tried taking hers. Try to sort it, discuss your feelings openly, its the best way to avoid this.

Take care buddy,

J

Wompa1

dunbar wrote: »

Hey OP,

It really does get easier, i was going with a girl for 3 years, i was head over heals, things seemed ok, then one day she dumped me, and i was a great boyfriend!(not tooting my own horn but toot toot). When we broke up, she used to ring my phone when she out with new guys to bragg, send pics to my email to torture me, she knew how much i was hurting. I found out a year after that she was shag*ing her best friends boyfriend for a year of our relationship!

I cant say that i didn't feel slightly suicidal about it, but i made the decision that i didn't want to hurt over her anymore, so i sought help from a councellor. About a year and a half after this i met my current GF, I'm more happy now, which at the time could never have felt possible. All i can say is, life does go on, it may not seem like it now, but it does. Don't do anything drastic, think of all the people in your life that would miss you, and need you. Your still adjusting, it'll take awhile but you can do it.

Suicide destroys families, my uncle did it,and my gran then tried taking hers. Try to sort it, discuss your feelings openly, its the best way to avoid this.

Take care buddy,

J

Wow sounds liek that woman was a f'kin psychopath. It does get easier over time, I think after a while your brain takes a shift and your thinking just starts to focus on other things.

You will undoubtedly meet the love of your life, she wasn't it obviously but when you do it will be so great

road_high

dunbar wrote: »

Hey OP,

It really does get easier, i was going with a girl for 3 years, i was head over heals, things seemed ok, then one day she dumped me, and i was a great boyfriend!(not tooting my own horn but toot toot). When we broke up, she used to ring my phone when she out with new guys to bragg, send pics to my email to torture me, she knew how much i was hurting. I found out a year after that she was shag*ing her best friends boyfriend for a year of our relationship!

I cant say that i didn't feel slightly suicidal about it, but i made the decision that i didn't want to hurt over her anymore, so i sought help from a councellor. About a year and a half after this i met my current GF, I'm more happy now, which at the time could never have felt possible. All i can say is, life does go on, it may not seem like it now, but it does. Don't do anything drastic, think of all the people in your life that would miss you, and need you. Your still adjusting, it'll take awhile but you can do it.

Suicide destroys families, my uncle did it,and my gran then tried taking hers. Try to sort it, discuss your feelings openly, its the best way to avoid this.

Take care buddy,

J

Christ, that screams "Lucky Escape" to me more than anyhting!