Breakup advice

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Just need a little advice about how to get over a relationship. I'm here on my own in the UK with literally no friends and struggling a lot. I think it might help me writing it all down. Any encouraging words or advice would be much appreciated.

Short version:
first love, with her 3 yrs on-off. Long distance past year and she's grown apart from me and got a life without me, I however put all of my eggs in 1 basket and am in the UK with no mates/backup or chance of going on a night out.

Long version:
I'm just out of a 3yr relationship. First love and all that. We got along amazingly, better than I can explain. Best mates nearly the whole time, never an argument. She was more into it than me and I was a little removed because I wanted to leave Ireland. I ended up moving to Wales and breaking up with her very gently after a year. Stayed friends and texted for 6months meeting up occasionally.

My job didnt work out and I moved to Spain. She came over to see me for 9 days and I suddenly realised what I had lost. I begged for her back and moved back to Ireland after some soul searching to try be with her. We got back together and went back to being great together but just for a few months until she moved to Wales to do her masters.

I stayed in Dublin and she was in Wales so we decided to give long distance a shot. We agreed to move in together at the end of her degree so we could be together and make up for time long distance. I had some problems getting a job and living in a **** house so became depressed and very needy. I wanted her to want me as badly as i wanted her but she had new friends and was distracted.

After about 9months long distance (July2010) she got fed up with me being needy and threatening to break up with her so much and dumped me. Fair enough. I acknowledged that I had been like this and tried to change but after a while on-off she grew weary. From the break up in July she has grown apart quite a bit. She says she still loves me loads but just isnt AS crazy about me any more. She has been very back and forth all this time. She begged for me back for a month in November but has decided that it needs to end.

I understand that we didnt have the exact same goals and didnt love the same things but Ive never liked a person so much. I dont like very many people and we were just so great together.

Thanks

MiniSquish

There's no real way to get over a breakup, all you need is time. I was in the same position as you with my ex (he was my first love too and we were together three years). He used to always "change his mind" about breaking up with me, and me like a fool would always go back. If you are really sure that this is the person for you and you think you may have a chance with her then the best thing you can do is give her some time and distance. She needs to miss you. If you're intent on trying to get over her, it just takes time. It took me 2 years to get over my ex because of the constant back and forth and now I have a new boyfriend. You wont miss her forever.

LegacyUser

That's the best advice I've heard all week. Much appreciated, made me feel a lot better.