Help for a Friend

Wompa1

This is actually for a friend and not for me. I have a friend who recently got dumped by his girlfriend. They had been going out for over 7 years. He just turned 25 so he's still pretty young. Anyway, His partner had cheated on a few occasions and he kept on with the relationship, he has always, as long as I've known him been with her and has been completely devoted to her and loved her.

So now, she has dumped him. She did it over the phone just before christmas and he's wanted to talk in person but she's been avoiding it. Last night she asked him to meet her eventually but he said it was after he completely lost the plot with how she has treated him and he now has no intention of meeting her.

He has said now he'd like to go out on the prowl pretty much. I know this isn't in his character. But at the same time I'm thinking the guy has been in a relationship since his teens, these days most people have quite a few partners etc. I feel he will regret it later in life but I'm torn as to what to do...stand by and let him go for it or maybe discourage it a little bit..

What do others on here feel? Is going on a big rebound after a long relationship a healthy thing to do?

LegacyUser

why do you feel he would regret it later in life? because you would? there is an element of judgement here.

this is none of your business. he is a big boy.

curlzy

Hey Wompa,

You usually give very good advise so I'd say you know this yourself. I think you should let him let his hair down, go out with him and let him go on a major tear. He needs to blow off some steam and just forget about the absolutely scummy way his bitch of an ex has behaved. He's not talking about robbing a bank or something he just wants some shallow joy, so let him do it!!! Just make sure his pockets are full of condoms! So yeah my advise, help him blow off the steam and be ready for when he goes into grieving which I'd say he will. He's going to be very angry and upset for the next while so just be there for him, whether as a wingman or a shoulder to cry on, he'll let you know what he needs. Just don't caught up too much in his shenanigans, (I know you have a gf:p)

Best of luck to him.

Wompa1

curlzy wrote: »

Hey Wompa,

You usually give very good advise so I'd say you know this yourself. I think you should let him let his hair down, go out with him and let him go on a major tear. He needs to blow off some steam and just forget about the absolutely scummy way his bitch of an ex has behaved. He's not talking about robbing a bank or something he just wants some shallow joy, so let him do it!!! Just make sure his pockets are full of condoms! So yeah my advise, help him blow off the steam and be ready for when he goes into grieving which I'd say he will. He's going to be very angry and upset for the next while so just be there for him, whether as a wingman or a shoulder to cry on, he'll let you know what he needs. Just don't caught up too much in his shenanigans, (I know you have a gf:p)

Best of luck to him.

Don't worry, no sheanigans for me! I'm more worried he'll do it for self hurt rather than for pleasure.

But the gut of what you and even what I've been leaning towards is right. He should go out and have fun, blow off stream etc.

I might just caution him not to do anything he might regret...he's been good to women in the past so now that he's got a bit of abuse hopefully it won't result in him completely mistreating girls.

Nevyn

Unfortunatly situations like this are often how 'bastards' are created.
A good guy get burned and then goes too far the other way and can end up being a dick to women until they sort thier head and heart out. It's one thing to want to not get into another seriously relationship and just date for a while, it's another to play the feild and see what happens and then there is the frankly destructive systematically racking up notches on bed posts.

Some people drink or do drugs and some people become permiscious for all the wrong reasons. Have a chat with him about it, makes sure he knows what risks he could be taking but after that, you have to let him make his own mistakes.

Wompa1

Thaedydal wrote: »

Unfortunatly situations like this are often how 'bastards' are created.
A good guy get burned and then goes too far the other way and can end up being a dick to women until they sort thier head and heart out. It's one thing to want to not get into another seriously relationship and just date for a while, it's another to play the feild and see what happens and then there is the frankly destructive systematically racking up notches on bed posts.

Some people drink or do drugs and some people become permiscious for all the wrong reasons. Have a chat with him about it, makes sure he knows what risks he could be taking but after that, you have to let him make his own mistakes.

That's exactly what I was thinking and put into the words I couldn't find. Thanks.

allandanyways

I couldn't agree more with Thaedydal. Having recently been with someone exactly like your friend (long relationship, making up for lost time now), he should just be careful he doesn't get a name for himself for being a d1ckhead to women.

The fella I was with broke up with his girlfriend before the summer and has pretty much gone on the tear with regards to women ever since, but because he was with his ex for so long, he's a total díck to women because he doesn't want to give them an inkling of hope once he's got what he wanted off them. His friends are even telling him to stop treating girls so badly, because he's getting a name for himself where he lives and girls are starting to reject his advances because of his reputation. (I was oblivious to this until he was a bastard to me :rolleyes:)

If your friend is asking your advice on this topic, I would recommend you tell him to always use a condom and be nice to the girl afterwards, because people talk and word will get around especially if he's a díckhead to her afterwards. It's basic manners like.