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Should i leave my pregnant gf??

  • 04-01-2011 9:23pm
    #1
    Andresss
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭


    Ok I Know i prob sound like an **** but its not even like that i met i girl we went out for like2 months and started having raltionships and problems everyonece and then shes now preg with seven months... but i dont feel so good with herr ive tried to do the best i can but there are a lot of things that i didnt know about her that i know dislike i wanna do the right thing but it is hard im 19 we have been living together now for 6 months... idk i feel bad i dont wanna hurt her but then some times i get deppressed because im not sure being with her iss the right thing and am kind of scared that well end up splitting anyway ... idk.. she seeems to like me a lot.. but.. idk


Comments

  • #2
    kjl
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    You can break up without leaving her.

    I think in this case you have dug yourself a huge hole which will be difficult to get out of but the fact of the matter is you didn't really know the girl before you got thrown into serious relationship with her.

    Effectively you were only dating 3 months when you moved in together which is short in anyones book.

    I would advice that the pregnancy may be stressful on your girlfriend, and you may not be seeing he in her best light as a result. I think also with her being 7 months pregnant that she doesn't need the stress of a break up. So just sit tight, and wait maybe 5 months and after that you can break up with her and verbalise why you are doing it, I understand that you are not happy now, but realistically now is not the time to be dumping her. You have made your bed, now sleep in it.

    When you do break up it is imperative that you still stay with her, and give her all the support she needs


  • #3
    Jenneke87
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 807 ✭✭✭Jenneke87


    I agree with the overall tone of the previous poster except for the part that says"wait another 5 months before you break up" I think the last thing any new mum needs on top of broken nights and the hassle of adjusting to a routine is a break up. Personally speaking, I'd prefer to know such a thing before the baby is born so I can prepare myself for the fact that my partner won't be around and that I will have to handle things on my own.

    Whatever your decision, please do stay in your childs life, offer support where ever you can and be a father to your child.

    Take care


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi Andresss, you sound incredibly stressed. I have a son around your age and if he was in your shoes I would tell him he is way way too young to be tied into a commitment and baby...I know you are responsible for the situation but I really think your GF would be better with her own parents if you are living together.
    This may seem harsh but you are clearly not at a stage where you can give her what she needs right now. Having a baby is scarey when you are older and you are just a teen.
    You need to talk to your mum or dad or other close relative and sit down with this girl and explain that you cannot this by yourselves. If she has family she can stay with until the baby is born then I would advise this. For you to set up home and then let her down after the baby is born is cruel and dishonest. You are both too young and will need other support....you are not two middle aged people who have planned this..
    I will get slated for saying this but continuing as you are will cause more pain in the long run.
    Whatever you do make sure she knows that you will love the baby, you just require more help than a couple in their 30s or 40s.
    Yes you got yourself into this but your GF will need MORE support after the baby so leaving then is much worse IMO. If you haven't done so then get advice from your Public Health Nurse (your GP can tell you who she is) and she will help you and your GF. Don't be afraid to admit you need help. Lots of couples live separately until they are ready to move in together. You need support not judgment.


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