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Perfect relationship, without the 'zing?'

  • 04-01-2011 2:17am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I met the girl who is perfect for me. She is attractive, sexy, caring, attentive, loving, madly in love with me, and I like her and all her family and friends. We have the same interests, the same attitudes, the same likes and dislikes. I never dreamed I would meet someone who matches me so well, almost a hundred percent!

    But there's one thing. No matter how attractive and sexy she is, that 'zing' factor is just not there. I have known girls down the years who made my heart miss a beat, who struck me dumb when I looked at them, and even now, as I walk down the street, I am sure to see a girl who grabs my attention effortlessly, who just has some unquantifiable thing that makes my heart race a little.

    This girl I am dating, she is wonderful in every way. I could not fault her. I could spend the whole night with her, comfortable in her company, chatting away, sitting in silence, watching a dvd, whatever. She is very sexually attracted to me, but I can take or leave sex with her. I have no problem performing, but I think all my life I looked forward to meeting a girl who would make my heart zing with excitement, and now I have met the perfect girl, and that zing is not there, I confess to being a little disappointed. Why does my heart not jump with her, the way it jumped with other girls before?

    Has anyone here built a successful, long lasting relationship based on friendship without the zing, or is this relationship likely to wane over time? I am just a bit confused about my feelings, don't want to hurt her, and just wonder has anyone else had experience of feeling this way? I'm ready to throw my lot in with her, but I just want to be sure this is it. I know nobody here can tell me what to do, I only want to know if there are others who encountered the same doubts and what they did.


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    would it be the symptom that 'you want what you can't have'?

    or you maybe too greedy and wanting to have all?

    how old are you, OP? think back the relationship, was there no zing really with this girl? not at the start of the relationship?

    would it be that this girl chased you and you instead like the chase?

    can you afford losing this 99% girl and keep on looking for something that might or might not be there?

    or is this girl 99% really 99%?

    when you settle in a relationship, the zing would go and it's the stability and commitmment that needed to be developed. we cant be zinged all the time or we cant concentrate on other aspects of our lives.


  • #3
    killerking
    Closed Accounts Posts: 157 ✭✭killerking


    wile e coyote wrote: »
    I met the girl who is perfect for me. She is attractive, sexy, caring, attentive, loving, madly in love with me, and I like her and all her family and friends. We have the same interests, the same attitudes, the same likes and dislikes. I never dreamed I would meet someone who matches me so well, almost a hundred percent!

    But there's one thing. No matter how attractive and sexy she is, that 'zing' factor is just not there. I have known girls down the years who made my heart miss a beat, who struck me dumb when I looked at them, and even now, as I walk down the street, I am sure to see a girl who grabs my attention effortlessly, who just has some unquantifiable thing that makes my heart race a little.

    This girl I am dating, she is wonderful in every way. I could not fault her. I could spend the whole night with her, comfortable in her company, chatting away, sitting in silence, watching a dvd, whatever. She is very sexually attracted to me, but I can take or leave sex with her. I have no problem performing, but I think all my life I looked forward to meeting a girl who would make my heart zing with excitement, and now I have met the perfect girl, and that zing is not there, I confess to being a little disappointed. Why does my heart not jump with her, the way it jumped with other girls before?

    Has anyone here built a successful, long lasting relationship based on friendship without the zing, or is this relationship likely to wane over time? I am just a bit confused about my feelings, don't want to hurt her, and just wonder has anyone else had experience of feeling this way? I'm ready to throw my lot in with her, but I just want to be sure this is it. I know nobody here can tell me what to do, I only want to know if there are others who encountered the same doubts and what they did.

    If the 'zing' isn't there just keep looking for someone who does have that 'zing.'


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