Your baby's first week at home..

Trotter

Here we are on day 5 in our little lady's adventure, and she's certainly taking over the house. Things are good.. she's a healthy weight and put on a little bit between being discharged from hospital and the heel prick test.

Im wondering if you guys might share your experiences with your baby's first week at home.

This little lady is feeding from Mum, and Mum is doing so well Im amazed by it. She's a little stressed that our little one is still hungry though after a feed because she's literally spending 2-3 hours each time feeding and nodding off, feeding and nodding off. Today we tried just feeding for around an hour in total and giving her a soother then. After a bit of protest, each time she's fallen asleep for 4 hours approx before waking looking for more. Im told this is normal enough?

Last night she was very uneasy and refused to leave Mum.. (screaming no matter when she was laid down after being winded just because she wanted to feed again.) Trouble was, she would nod off after 30 seconds. Needless to say Mum can't manage that.. she'd have zero sleep. Mum gave her a bottle of Aptimel and after a good feed of that, she slept for 4 hours again.. giving Mum a badly needed rest.

Its 12am almost now, and Im expecting her to wake. I sent Mum to bed at 9 after the baby fell asleep after the last feed (it took a lot of rocking and perservering), so at least she's had a couple of hours of sleep.. although I suspect not, given that she's stressed that the baby hasnt fed enough. There hasnt been a dirty nappy for about 36 hrs but Ive read that its perfectly normal, especially when bf.

Im not looking for professional advice at all, but I'd like to know does this experience sound similar to your own, and if so, how did the 'chaos' last?
How did your first week at home go?

Thanks

SC Kevin

first off congratz on the new born, your life has just changed forever!

i remember this stage well up every 3 hours feeding and taking about and hour or 2 to feed.

bf is only meant to take 20-30 mins, any longer than this means that baby is only taking a small bit of milk and thats why she is screaming for more cause she is hungry, u'll just have to try and keep her awake some how (blowing in her face, tickling her feet, changing her half way through feeding etc)

of course this doesnt always work out as in our case, twas the same as ur self nealry, taking about 2 hours to feed and then he would wake up looking for more after about 3 hours!

mite i suggest that your wife expresses some milk and that you can feed the little one at nite while your wife gets some well deserved rest (mite be a bit early but no harm in trying)

as for how long its gonna last, really depends on the baby, some start to sleep all nite as early as 6 weeks, in our case, it lasted 13 weeks!

Moonbeam

I remember the days!
I had a starving baby and my milk wasn't enough for her so had to top her up with formula,I didn't want to in the beginning but the pediatrician told me to and I was grateful when baby was happy.
Tell her to speak to the phn.

lynski

current breastfeeding best practice discourages supplementation for lots of reasons, here is a good article on the first week.

The First Week

How often should baby be nursing?

Frequent nursing encourages good milk supply and reduces engorgement. Aim for nursing at least 10 - 12 times per day (24 hours). You CAN'T nurse too often--you CAN nurse too little.

Nurse at the first signs of hunger (stirring, rooting, hands in mouth)--don't wait until baby is crying. Allow baby unlimited time at the breast when sucking actively, then offer the second breast. Some newborns are excessively sleepy at first--wake baby to nurse if 2 hours (during the day) or 4 hours (at night) have passed without nursing.

Is baby getting enough milk?

Weight gain: Normal newborns may lose up to 7% of birth weight in the first few days. After mom's milk comes in, the average breastfed baby gains 6 oz/week (170 g/week). Take baby for a weight check at the end of the first week or beginning of the second week. Consult with baby's doctor and your lactation consultant if baby is not gaining as expected.

Dirty diapers: In the early days, baby typically has one dirty diaper for each day of life (1 on day one, 2 on day two...). After day 4, stools should be yellow and baby should have at least 3-4 stools daily that are the size of a US quarter (2.5 cm) or larger. Some babies stool every time they nurse, or even more often--this is normal, too. The normal stool of a breastfed baby is loose (soft to runny) and may be seedy or curdy.

Wet diapers: In the early days, baby typically has one wet diaper for each day of life (1 on day one, 2 on day two...). Once mom's milk comes in, expect 5-6+ wet diapers every 24 hours. To feel what a sufficiently wet diaper is like, pour 3 tablespoons (45 mL) of water into a clean diaper. A piece of tissue in a disposable diaper will help you determine if the diaper is wet.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html
Good luck

metrovelvet

^ I wish someone had told me that. I was changing the nappy everytime he did a little squirt of a pee. Went through thirty nappies a day. YEs he was awake that much, drank an ounce and a half at most. Fell asleep for an hour and woke up again.

aniascor

You should give your local La Leche League a call for some advice. Non stop feeding like that is quite common in the first week or two especially at night because baby is learning how to feed and is building up milk supply. If mum is exhausted giving a bottle of formula is no problem - I did it myself every night for one feed because otherwise I wouldn't have been able to continue.

However you should be aware that topping up with formula means that it takes longer to build up mum's supply or may even impede her building up supply. If you are going to do top ups try to limit it to one feed a day at the same time every day.

If the feeds are taking hours at a time chances are you have a sleepy baby like I did. He would fall asleep during every feed and then would really just be sucking rather than actually feeding. I'd have to use cotton wool and water to wake him up or change his nappy after 20 minutes to make sure he fed properly.

When baby is feeding watch to see whether or not he's swallowing to make sure he's drinking.

Expressing may not be an option at this stage because mums supply may not be enough to pump. If she does try pumping and doesn't get much milk tell her not to worry. The amount you can pump bears no relation to the amount baby is getting.

Www.kellymom.com is a great breastfeeding resource. I recommend you check it out.

Congratulations on the new baby!

metrovelvet

I was told not to mix bottle and breast [before I gave up trying with the breast] because of nipple confusion.

aniascor

Yeah, i think the recommendation is not to mix them. The lactation consultant in the hospital told me that ideally you should use a cup or syringe to feed a newborn breastfed baby if you need to supplement. However, I could never get my little guy to feed that way so I used a bottle.

I can't say it didn't cause problems though because he was about 8 weeks old before he really learned to latch properly so it may have been a factor. However if it's a toss up with supplementing one feed with a bottle and quitting altogether, I'd use the bottle. But that's just what worked for me.

Few things that helped us -

Pacifier really confused things, we stopped using it until our little guy was well established on the Breast and now use it again no problem.

Use cold water to keep them awake - cruel I know but a bit of cotton wool with cold water kept our child awake for the feed.

We used a top up aptimel 2 - 3 times during the first 2 weeks to get him over hungry period.

Most importantly, Relax - we were really stressed about when to feed, how much, how long. Eventually we just relaxed, fed when he wanted (after 2 weeks we let him wake up instead of setting alarms) They will get established feeding in a week or two and it will be easier, still tough, but less frustrating!

How Strange

Thanks for that info lynski.

Everything I've read about breastfeeding after birth seems to indicate that its pretty much fulltime for the first couple of weeks or so until the supply is established. My friend is bfing her baby and she said she found it very intense.

I'm 36 weeks so am going to look up a la leche group near me now so I have them as a support when the baby comes.

Cat Melodeon

Trotter wrote: »

Im wondering if you guys might share your experiences with your baby's first week at home.

This little lady is feeding from Mum, and Mum is doing so well Im amazed by it. She's a little stressed that our little one is still hungry though after a feed because she's literally spending 2-3 hours each time feeding and nodding off, feeding and nodding off. Today we tried just feeding for around an hour in total and giving her a soother then. After a bit of protest, each time she's fallen asleep for 4 hours approx before waking looking for more. Im told this is normal enough?

Our first few days were similar in terms of feeding every 2 hours, although I found it necessary to keep baby fully awake (stroking his cheek, moving him about) for at least 10 mins so that he would feed enough. Sounds like your girl is a 'lazy sucker' and needs to be kept more awake so that she feeds more efficiently. Get help with this, or mum may end up with very sore nipples from the constant feeding.

Trotter wrote: »

Last night she was very uneasy and refused to leave Mum.. (screaming no matter when she was laid down after being winded just because she wanted to feed again.) Trouble was, she would nod off after 30 seconds. Needless to say Mum can't manage that.. she'd have zero sleep.

It sounds like she's trying to stimulate mum's milk supply. This will pass in a couple of days - by day 10 I felt like a pro - so stick with it for now, it's only another 5 days and things should be much easier (and the crying should have stopped).


Personally, I found night 4 absolute hell as my milk still hadn't come in fully and baby was screaming non-stop to be fed - I felt completely useless. We introduced a soother between feeding attempts and managed to snatch 2 hour's sleep here and there. This is very normal in the first 2 weeks - the crying stimulates milk production - so just be careful about introducing formula at this stage as it can exacerbate the problem of low supply and baby not learning how to suckle properly. 4 hours sleep for a newborn breastfed baby is pretty exceptional - my lad was about 10 weeks before he'd sleep more than 3 hours at a time. Lack of sleep can be combatted by co-sleeping - absolute lifesaver for me.

janmc

aniascor wrote: »

Non stop feeding like that is quite common in the first week or two especially at night because baby is learning how to feed and is building up milk supply.

The first 10 days are tough I know, but as aniascor said try to stick it out because the baby is giving your partner's body the signals as to how much milk he/she needs and establishing the supply. I think it's a little early for a soother for a BF baby. Check if the baby is swallowing (you can hear a little gulp!) or is just comfort sucking. If not swallowing, then it's ok to try and get the baby to sleep in the crib. IIRC it took mine about 45mins at that stage for a feed and it felt like she had hardly stopped before it was time to start again! But it settles down in no time.

Good luck & congratulations on your healthy arrival!

Nevyn

My youngest would fall alseep before finishing a feed, I would open up the bottome of her babygro/ pull back the blanket on her so the change in temp would rouse her and she would finish to feed.

Trotter

Sorry for the delay in updating. I think you all know how busy a week it is!

All things considered, we've decided that from now on bottles are the way things are going to be for this little one.

With that decision made, we've been able to see how much formula she's taking, and God is she taking it!! She's getting rid of almost 4 oz every 4 hours and seems to be sleeping for 3 or 4 hours after each feed now. She's really guzzling the bottles and its only taking 30 mins to feed her. If she doesnt go to sleep quickly after a feed, she looks for more within 10 or 15 mins and cries and roots around for more. We've started giving her 3ozs and if she's nodded off at that point, we leave her be, so that theres an extra ounce there to calm her if she wakes within a few mins of the feed. At the speed she's taking the milk, Im not surprised she was very hungry all the time originally. Poor Mum was really pushed hard.

I have to say its a different house since yesterday when we switched over (gradually). She's more content, is crying a lot less and is producing a regular manky nappy

She hasnt slept a whole lot today, but she did sleep for 2 hours from 1-3 ish last night and again from 4:30 to 8:30 so Mum and I got some sleep.

She's had a couple of 'explosive pukes' since going on the formula but I think thats our fault for allowing her to guzzle too much. Trial and error and we'll get it right.

All in all, its been a good 24 hours. Thanks a lot for the help! Its so good to have a few opinions to read, and I tend to read them when Im tense and it does absolutely make a difference.

So.. the short version.. we're on bottles and things have improved.

How Strange

Well done Trotter. You and your wife have to do what's best for your family.

diarmuid05

How Strange wrote: »

Well done Trotter. You and your wife have to do what's best for your family.

Exactly, you'll figure it out as you go along and do whats best for you.

Trotter

We're trying the 4 hour feed routine but it's drifting so much it's impossible to keep to.

Question.. Does the stress and chaos wear off a bit after the first few days?

Im wrecked and Im in awe of my missis who's doing most of the work. I washed my jeans today (exploding puke incident) and turned on the washing machine just fine. Pity my jeans were on the table.

yop

This sound very like our little lad.
Born on 7th Jan, 8lbs 5oz. All healthy thank God so no complaints then.

My wife is BF'n, took 6 days for any right flow.
For the first few days it was sufficent, then on the 4th he was just restless and sucking hands, shirts etc so we were told in the hospital to give him a 30ml (1 oz) top up, we did that and it worked a treat.
Day 5 and 6 were good, he would be BF'n for maybe 40 mins each side, didn't satisfy him so we gave him 60ml maybe 3 times per day, this would satisfy him and he would sleep then wake after maybe 3 hrs.
At this stage we are looking at about 200 mins each side in total each day and about 180ml of formula (Actimel)

Then day 7 and things gone a little down hill. He was ok for the 1st half of the day he feed off the BF'n and no issues, no need for top up, then she gave him a feed at 9pm. He feed well but wudn't rest, we put him down but he screamed. After 10/15 mins of crying I took him and gave him 70ml of formula, this was about 11.30pm. I sent my wife to bed.

He didn't sleep after it, was looking around, real busy with legs and arms.
At about 12.30am he started to push out the lips and getting uneasy. I tried my finger at his mouth and he near sucked it dry! I decided he was hungry again. So I gave him another 30ml. He swamped it.
It was near 3am before he settled and I could lift him to his cot.

He woke again at 5am and 8am for BF and he went down no issue. Feed again at 11am and 1pm no issue. He was up for a feed again at 3.30pm and we gave him a top up of 30ml as he was restless when we put him down. It konked him out.

Then at 6.30 he rose again looking for a feed. My wife took over and feed him switching sides. This continued for about 3 hours, changed the nappy in the middle. Winded him on knee and back and got up few burbs.

He nodded off and looked spot on so we put him into his cot, he last about 5 mins before kicking the blankets off and waving the arms and crying big time.
She took him and tried him again for another hour, 30 mins on each side.
He stopped himself and feel asleep. Put him back in and same issue again, inconsoleable crying. I tried rocking the cot and talking to him but no joy.
Got a 60ml bottle of formula and again he swamped it, as if he hadn't been feed, now my wifes breasts are full before the feeds as she can feel it.
About 12.30am he feel asleep on my knee. I put him into the cot and he needed some rocking to sleep, worked a treat. Took maybe hr though.
Eventually at 2am I put his cot back in our room and got to bed.
He woke again at 3am, 5.30, 8.20am and then sleep solid til 12pm, nappy changes and that done also. All them feeds were done by my wife, BF'n.

Then at 3pm she said she would BF as we had to go out with him to her parents. He took to it and worked away for 20 mins on each side, was calm as hell. Put him into carseat and he kicked off. She said she would give him another 15 on each and that too put him to sleep, but again when we put him in car seat we had the same issue.
60ml of forrmula and he eventually went off at 5pm

Didn't wake until after 8pm.

Feed him at 8.30 on both sides for over 1hr. Tried to put him down but no way. Put him back on each side for 15 again and he totally panned it.
Took him and tried him in is cot, after 15 mins he started to cry.
We tried to console him and rock the cot but no joy at all.

At 11pm I gave him 70ml of formula. Took it no bother and after winding he is now asleep on me, this is not a habit the PHN has told me to cut out!!!!

So its near 1am, he has slept but keeps jumping and opens the eyes, I need to put him down in his cot but I feel he will wake if I move him!

We have started , last night, giving him infacol before each feed.

I have just moved him to his cot now so we will see what happens, but its really wearing us out!

Nevyn

The chaos will settle, the first 6 weeks are very hard.

Cat Melodeon

yop wrote: »

I have just moved him to his cot now so we will see what happens, but its really wearing us out!

I know I probably sound like a broken record at this stage to the regulars in the parenting section, but I cannot recommend highly enough using a sling to keep baby calm and asleep while you're up and about and cosleeping to help mum/you get sleep between feeds (provided you're both nonsmokers and haven't had any alcohol). Both sling and cosleeping can do wonders to settle a sad baby. Some folks swear by trying to replicate as closely as possible baby being in the womb for the first few weeks after birth, to ease the shock of coming into the world. I don't know about that, but I know that being held close to my body (or my husband's body) always soothed our boy, with the sling allowing you to get on with life and cosleeping allowing you to get on with sleep. Some links if you're interested:
Slings: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sling.html
Cosleeping: http://www.cosleeping.org/

Squiggler

Cat Melodeon wrote: »

I know I probably sound like a broken record at this stage to the regulars in the parenting section, but I cannot recommend highly enough using a sling to keep baby calm and asleep while you're up and about and cosleeping to help mum/you get sleep between feeds (provided you're both nonsmokers and haven't had any alcohol). Both sling and cosleeping can do wonders to settle a sad baby. Some folks swear by trying to replicate as closely as possible baby being in the womb for the first few weeks after birth, to ease the shock of coming into the world. I don't know about that, but I know that being held close to my body (or my husband's body) always soothed our boy, with the sling allowing you to get on with life and cosleeping allowing you to get on with sleep. Some links if you're interested:
Slings: http://www.kellymom.com/parenting/sling.html
Cosleeping: http://www.cosleeping.org/

We're planning to do both, because that was what my mother did with me and my siblings.

Cat Melodeon

Squiggler wrote: »

We're planning to do both, because that was what my mother did with me and my siblings.

Yeah, when you do it you realise it's sort of common sense and ancient - my mam did it with us, only rather than 'cosleeping' and 'slings' it was called 'not enough beds in the house' and 'wrap the baby up and hold on to it cos it's cold in the house'!

Squiggler

My Mum, my sister and I were talking about stuff like that the other day. I was saying how lucky I feel that I have a great breastfeeding support group just in my own family. Mum bf four of us, my sister two (with a third on the way) and my brother's wife bf their boy too. We were all joking that it is the cheap and lazy option, no bottles to buy wash and sterilise, no formula to buy, no worrying if the milk it too hot or too cold...

Both of them said that they loved not even having to fully wake up for night time feeds. With the baby in the bed, or in a cot or crib right beside the bed they didn't even have to get out of bed to get the baby, let along prepare a bottle etc.

How Strange

What type of sling are you using? I've got back and shoulder problems so need something which wouldnt exacerbate those. I'm very interested in using a sling though.

Cat Melodeon

How Strange wrote: »

What type of sling are you using? I've got back and shoulder problems so need something which wouldnt exacerbate those. I'm very interested in using a sling though.

I used a celebsling (about €20 from the internet) for the first few weeks but didn't find it great for my back (my baby was quite big at 9lb6). I then got a padded ring sling which I love, and later again a second-hand patapum baby-carrier from someone on another parenting site which was the most comfortable but more suitable for a slightly older baby (I used it from 4 months). There is a sling library in Ireland where you can check out different styles of sling. It's a good idea as different body shapes might find different slings more comfortable.
You can find information about the library and meet-ups here:
http://babywearingireland.com/index.php?page=Sling-Library-Babywearing-Ireland

Squiggler

How Strange wrote: »

What type of sling are you using? I've got back and shoulder problems so need something which wouldnt exacerbate those. I'm very interested in using a sling though.

We're still waiting for our little one to arrive. Mum just used a very simple (shoulder strap) baby carrier, don't know how she coped with it because she has always had back problems (spinal meningitis as a child). We've got a padded sling and we're planning to buy an Ergo Baby Carrier too as we're not buggy/pram fanatics.

There are a lot of options out there that work on distributing the baby's weight so it isn't all hanging from your shoulders.

Eircom_Sucks

well my baby boy ( first child ) arrived 13th Jan at 9.20 via sunroof method ( c - section ) he was 6.2lbs and just under 6 when we left the hospital on monday , we had him weighed today and he was 6 2.5 he had gained 3 ounce since monday which is good , the gf is bf him and is feeding him every 3 hours and he usually takes 30 mins each time and then is all snugged up to sleep , we can't complain at the min really , feeds well , dirtys nappies well and doesnt cry ( yet ) only when u take ages to change nappy , other than that a perfect baby at the min ( under no illusion ) he does however get restless at night time ie crys for a while and doesnt really settle , he may need a feed , but the gf has sussed him out , he uses her as a soother , as soon as he latches on he falls asleep , so were trying to just talk to him when he's unsettled ( any better ideas please help )

Trotter

I figured I should revisit this thread, if only to put a happy little addition to it.

Our little princess is doing great.. and ya know what, so are we. I say princess because she rules over us throwing the odd strop and manipulating us with well timed smiles.

The first few weeks were feckin desperate when I think back. I loved this little bundle so much, but it was hard to find the time back in January to realise that. There was so much panic when she cried.. whats wrong? Does she need a visit to the GP.. will I ring your mother and ask her to come in... will she sleep later if she sleeps now.. she's after getting sick again, will we change her feed?.. etc. etc.

This all wore off. The chaos went away, but yet very little changed. Nature arrived in our heads and adjusted how we thought, how we managed, how we calmed down, and how we got ourselves back into a place called normality. Old normal is a distant memory, but ya know what.. I like new normal. New normal means sleeping from 11pm to 8am (We're lucky, I know!). New normal is smiles and play mats, and whinges when she's hungry or sometimes just in need of a whine. New normal is loving the 3 or 4 hours that the Grandparents mind her so we can go for something to eat, which we do regularly.. and new normal is loving coming home from those breaks to see how she's doing.

If I could give any advice to a new father especially, it would be to trust your other half.. trust that nature has given her more coping skills with babies than its given you, and trust that new normal will arrive.. and those first few weeks will be a memory you look back on like the memory of completing a long distance running race.

I love new normal

How Strange

Trotter wrote: »

I say princess because she rules over us throwing the odd strop and manipulating us with well timed smiles.

Trotter, our little fella is exactly the same. Just when we think we can't take anymore he gives us a big gummy smile and goos and gaas at us and everything else is forgotten. Those little smiles are priceless.

Great to hear everything is going so well for you.