Can't get over ex-girl

LegacyUser

I broke up with my gf over 2 yrs ago. Some time afterwards I realised I still loved her. It's been ongoing textin up and down the past 2+years. She still loves me too but she is seeing someone else now. I had been dealing with moving on but it all came back a few weeks ago when we very nearly got back together but she changed her mind. I really took this hard and have never felt worse the last few weeks. I'd do anything to have her back but it seems less likely now.

It starting to affect my social life, relationship with friends and my concentration at work! I wake up every morning with the same thoughts (losing her and my life being crap as a result) I can't seem to enjoy anything anymore, not even a drink.

Is this normal for 2 people's feelings to linger on for 2+ yrs after break up? On top of it all, I think I'm becoming depressed from it all! No motivation to do anything!

Anyone any comments or have you had similar experiences and how did you get through them?

Jealousgal

You seem like you need to get back out to the pubs and chat up some emotionally available girls. This ex seems to have trod all over u, made u feel like ye could get back together and then reconsidered. I can imagine it's like breaking up all over again.

I can only advise forgetting about this girl, she has played you along. Plenty of really lovely girls out there ready to meet a nice guy

LegacyUser

op, cut all the contact with her. the chance is gone now and accept that she has chosen the new guy over you. yes, she may still have feelings to you but she does not want you back in her life that way. she wants to keep you as a friend, but it would not work out as friendship you know it well. so cut all the contact.

if you still wanna try, try one last time, tell yourself it's the last time and if she does not take it, then leave it behind and meet new girls, cut all contact and move on.

i was/am in a similar situation. i rejected my ex. and my ex. got into another relationship a few months later. we could not stop contact and the person got on and off with the new lover. one night the person called me and told me things were finished with the new lover because s/he was confused about me and the new lover. the person asked me to let go and cut contact so we could really move on. we thought we could be friends, i thought we could. but i could not really give up. there was no friendship between us really. since the person is now single again, i decided to try the last time. i dont know what would happen next and i dont have my hope high. but at least i try and no regret and i know i would really could move on and accept that our lives will be in different direction.

killerking

Gngntz wrote: »

I broke up with my gf over 2 yrs ago. Some time afterwards I realised I still loved her.

Are you sure you were not just lonely?

It's been ongoing textin up and down the past 2+years. She still loves me too but she is seeing someone else now.

If she loved you she would be with you.

I had been dealing with moving on but it all came back a few weeks ago when we very nearly got back together but she changed her mind.

You have been texting her for the past 2+years without making a move so of course she changed her mind.

I really took this hard and have never felt worse the last few weeks. I'd do anything to have her back but it seems less likely now.

That's your whole problem. You will do anything for a woman.
It does not 'seem less likely now.' It never was likely because you broke up 2+ years ago, you have been bothering her ever since with texts and now she changed her mind. You should have moved on 2 years ago. You have to move on now.

It starting to affect my social life, relationship with friends and my concentration at work! I wake up every morning with the same thoughts (losing her and my life being crap as a result) I can't seem to enjoy anything anymore, not even a drink.

Is this normal for 2 people's feelings to linger on for 2+ yrs after break up?

No. But it is not normal to burn a torch for someone and not move on with your life after 2+ years.

On top of it all, I think I'm becoming depressed from it all! No motivation to do anything!

You are focusing on this girl but only masks a more deeper problem which is with you and not her or any 'relationship' you had.

Anyone any comments or have you had similar experiences and how did you get through them?

Instead of pining after her try dating other women and then go and think if you can remember this girl's name again.

stella09

Similar situation. we broke up after +1yr for 2yrs, but remained friends and constatnt contact we both still had feelings for eachother but i had a bit of growin up to do! i was seeing someone else. one night we had a few drinks together and ended up him walkin me home n kissin me (i told him i regretted it) why?? I dont know!
So we cut all contact he got with a girl i carried on in my relationship :eek:.
Then i see the big bright light & end my realtionship, he catchs wind of this ends it with his then girlfriend gets my number gets in touch & TADA were still together 5yrs later with a lil lad the works!

Im not sayin this is goin to happen but no one can see what the future brings! Just dont let it stop you from living your life enjoy your single life with the lads!! try be friends with her or jus let her know that ull be there for her.

Or jus ask her to meet you n talk things through ask why she just changed her mind.... (bit miffed by that) but hey us girls can be fierce awkward at times ... even i dont understand my own actions at times!!

Hope it works out for you!

LegacyUser

Thanks for all you replies, most of which made sense.
I didn't mention that we were together for 4 yrs prior to splitting which makes me wonder why we split in the first place.

In response to killerking and a few others, I have been out in pubs and clubs, in fact more than most I'd say. I've been with loads of other women but after a few dats I just think back and they never stand a chance then. Usually I just think it'll never be as good as previously!

Thanks Stella, I'd love if it did work out like that. We are going to meet and talk but I don't think it will be what I want to hear! After that I'll move on coz I have to. Its not easy to cut all ties but thanks for the advice.