I hate livng

LegacyUser

I am 19 yr old girl , curently Ihave posted several times n this forum under various different names as I have always been beaten by my mother since I ws small me and my smallr brothers and sisters. I come from a rough area '' the island'' based in Limerick and well I have always hated my life but neve wanted to die up until now. I am thrown out of home as my mam beat my little sister aged 16 and broke her nose and forced my other brother 9 and sister 6 to join in beating her. I am now in a friends house and my 16 yr old sister in my aunts house I feel very suicidal my mam ha been sending me abusive threating texts to me and telling lies to my boyfriend so to get him to dump me .

I am extremey stressed, no job, no home still in college in U.L but I find no bright light can any1 help me

Nevyn

You need to go to your local heath clinic and go talk to the socail workers on call.
Explain to them what is happening in the family home and they will be able to help you and your siblings.

tenchi-fan

Turn your phone off so your mam can't text you.
It's good that you are living with a friend. Just try to put the hectic family life behind you and try to enjoy college. You're an adult after all and you need to cut your mother out of it... you'll find you will have a lot more energy for other things.

If you are concerned for your brothers and sisters, phone social services.

See if your uni has a hardship fund that might help you get on your feet. You can also speak to the university's counsellor, and speak to your gp about the suicidal thoughts.

Yumee

OP, it is always devastating when a family member is a negative and destructive force in our lives but even more so when it is your own mother who should only want the best for you. You are obviously an extremely bright and intelligent young girl, and you have your entire life ahead of you. Things will get better.. Concentrate hard on college, where you grew up does not define you and it is well within your reach to obtain a better life for yourself, one that you deserve. Ensure you talk to a social worker or relation you can trust about your situation and best of luck xx

Mr. Loverman

Time to start your life from scratch.

Break all contact with your mother. Break all contact with anyone toxic.

Maybe go abroad and volunteer for a while...? Basically you need to get away from everything so you can clear your mind and figure out what to do with your life.

Go into whatever your mobile network provider is and explain to them that someone, you don't necessarily have to say who I don't think, is abusing you over text and they will block the number for you. Some people I known have done this and the network provider was more than willing to oblige.

Chuchoter

First of all, serious kudos to you for coming through such an abusive home life and getting into university. Very few people can do what you have done. Moving in with the friend was the right thing to do, but you should block your mums number, tell your boyfriend to stop talking to your mum. Everybody needs to blank her. You owe her nothing. Remember to be angry with her, not yourself. I'd say extricating yourself from the situation has given you time to think and thats whats upsetting you so much now.

I think counselling would be very helpful for someone who has gone through things like this. It wouldn't have to be a big organized thing, even the chaplain at university could provide someone to vent to.

As for light at the end of the tunnel, you are 19, it is well within your reach to drop your mother, you have a boyfriend and you are in the process of getting a qualification which will make it a lot easier to get a job and money, then you can get your own place to live. You have loads going for you, even if now seems impossible. Don't give up on all the work you have already done, you are obviously a very strong and hardworking person.

LegacyUser

Hi there. Very new to these boards. <snip>

I appreciate you are new to boards and I would request you please read the forum rules in the charter so you can see what kind of replies are appropriate.

Many thanks.
Ickle

killerking

Ihatemylafe wrote: »

I am 19 yr old girl , curently Ihave posted several times n this forum under various different names as I have always been beaten by my mother since I ws small me and my smallr brothers and sisters. I come from a rough area '' the island'' based in Limerick and well I have always hated my life but neve wanted to die up until now. I am thrown out of home as my mam beat my little sister aged 16 and broke her nose and forced my other brother 9 and sister 6 to join in beating her. I am now in a friends house and my 16 yr old sister in my aunts house I feel very suicidal my mam ha been sending me abusive threating texts to me and telling lies to my boyfriend so to get him to dump me .

I am extremey stressed, no job, no home still in college in U.L but I find no bright light can any1 help me

I read your post and I feel terrible for you.

<snip>

prinz

Ihatemylafe wrote: »

I am extremey stressed, no job, no home still in college in U.L but I find no bright light can any1 help me

Approach the Student's Union and ask is there anyone they could recommend to speak with (Welfare Officer), go to the contemplation centre and have a chat. They should have resources and contacts of organisations which could be of use to you.

G86

Ihatemylafe wrote: »

I am 19 yr old girl , curently Ihave posted several times n this forum under various different names as I have always been beaten by my mother since I ws small me and my smallr brothers and sisters. I come from a rough area '' the island'' based in Limerick and well I have always hated my life but neve wanted to die up until now. I am thrown out of home as my mam beat my little sister aged 16 and broke her nose and forced my other brother 9 and sister 6 to join in beating her. I am now in a friends house and my 16 yr old sister in my aunts house I feel very suicidal my mam ha been sending me abusive threating texts to me and telling lies to my boyfriend so to get him to dump me .

I am extremey stressed, no job, no home still in college in U.L but I find no bright light can any1 help me

Is there a counsellor in the college that you can talk to? I know everyone is saying to cut contact with your mother, and I do agree, but there's also your siblings to think about. I really think you need to report the situation to a social worker. And I know it seems scary, but if you don't ask for help you won't be able to move on from this and get on with your life. You'll have that constant worry in the back of your mind about how they are and if they're ok.

As for your mother, you don't owe her anything. Some people just don't know how to be parents, and that's not your fault, and it's not because of anything you've done. You're 19 now, and you've done brilliantly to get as far as you have, so what you need to do now is keep going. I know it's hard, I know it's heart wrenching to lose a family. But you have to remind yourself that it was never a family in the first place - familys are about trust, compassion, and unconditional love. When did you get any of that? When did you ever feel safe in your own home? When did you ever feel like you had a 'home'?

How long have you been with your boyfriend? Can you talk to him about all of this? Or maybe your friend? Sometimes just talking can be such a relief, especially when you have 19 years of horrible memories locked inside your mind. Have you got a part time job? Or a grant? If so, then you could look into getting a room in a shared house. I know it might seem hard right now, but you have to remember that your past doesn't have to dictate your future.

Mazdoll

<snip>.
With your mam its not a great place to find yourself in, but you have what it takes, you've kept yourself together so far, just take the next few steps.

ninty9er

Hey OP,

I'm the Welfare Officer in ULSU. Drop me an email on suwelfare@ul.ie and I'll put some time aside to meet with you and see what help we might be able to sort for you.

Some of the things in your life sound really crap, but your aunt obviously cares and you care enough about your brothers and sisters to stick around and do something about it. There's a few people you should probably talk to so if you let me know when you can drop in I'll go through it with you.