Houseshare - gay or bi only?

Sauve

Hi everyone,
First time in this forum but curiosity is getting the better of me so hoping someone here has an answer!
I've been looking for a room to rent in a house for a few weeks now, and at least three or four of the rooms that I've been interested in have 'gay or bi only' in the ad.
Found it a bit odd, as although I'm not gay, I think whatever goes on in the privacy of your bedroom is your own business and shouldn't matter when looking for flatmates....
I'm tempted to ring them anyway and say that I'm not gay but I'd really like the room!
Am I missing something here, or is it more likely that the gay/bi people that are already in the house don't want any hassle that might arise from discrimination etc?
I know the circumstances are a little different but there'd be outrage if some of these ads said 'straight people only', so I'm wondering what the reasoning is behind it!

Dr. Baltar

Sauvignon82 wrote: »

Hi everyone,
First time in this forum but curiosity is getting the better of me so hoping someone here has an answer!
I've been looking for a room to rent in a house for a few weeks now, and at least three or four of the rooms that I've been interested in have 'gay or bi only' in the ad.
Found it a bit odd, as although I'm not gay, I think whatever goes on in the privacy of your bedroom is your own business and shouldn't matter when looking for flatmates....
I'm tempted to ring them anyway and say that I'm not gay but I'd really like the room!
Am I missing something here, or is it more likely that the gay/bi people that are already in the house don't want any hassle that might arise from discrimination etc?
I know the circumstances are a little different but there'd be outrage if some of these ads said 'straight people only', so I'm wondering what the reasoning is behind it!

I think you got it one. It's probably people who want to feel comfortable within their own scene. I don't agree with it either to be honest. I was once really desperate for accomodation in college and when I rang a landlord's number he told me that he was only allowing women stay in the house! :eek:

I can see the "why" though. It would be similar to you moving to France and perhaps wanting to live with just Irish people?
I'd give them a ring though.

Sauve

Yeah, might do.
If I ring them and say that it really doesn't make a bit of difference to me as long as all housemates respect each others' privacy (as you'd expect anywhere really) maybe they'll come round.
It has occured to me that maybe they've had hassle from housemates before over who they bring home at night....

AndrewJD

I've seen a fair few mentioning applicants should be 'LGBT friendly' or similar, which I'd say is the perfect way to go. It seems a bit short sighted to suggest that if you're not gay yourself, you couldn't possibly live in a house as fabulous as theirs. :P

I'd do what you're suggesting, landlords maybe being a bit silly

Dr. Baltar

AndrewJD wrote: »

I've seen a fair few mentioning applicants should be 'LGBT friendly' or similar, which I'd say is the perfect way to go. It seems a bit short sighted to suggest that if you're not gay yourself, you couldn't possibly live in a house as fabulous as theirs. :P

I'd do what you're suggesting, landlords maybe being a bit silly

I've seen enough heterophobia in my time to seriously not be surprised if some LGBT people held the view that all straight people were homophobic.

MicraBoy

I'd usually put gay friendly when advertising the room, seems a bit limiting to try and be so exclusive.

Nevyn

Thing is it's not just what goes on in the bed room, it's coupley displayes of affection which can happen anywhere in the house and it can be as simple as two people looking at each other. Such simple things between two people of the oppsite gender may not bug out a person but may bug out a person when they are between two people of the same gender.

Chuchoter

I'd ring and ask anyway, I'd say they're just trying to avoid people who will be uncomfortable with things like Thaedyal said. Just make sure you don't expect people to be gay inside their own bedroom and then never speak to their girlfriend/boyfriend in the rest of the house! :P Seems a bit unfair if they're rejecting you just because you're straight though.

Squeeonline

I dont like when I see ads Gay/bi only, or even Women only.

That's discrimination. Imagine, "men only" or "straights only", how would that make you feel? Angry? yeah me too.

Sauve

crayolastereo wrote: »

Just make sure you don't expect people to be gay inside their own bedroom and then never speak to their girlfriend/boyfriend in the rest of the house!

Ah yeah, a bit of affection is totally normal, sure it'd be the same when my bf comes to visit.
I'll give the number a ring this evening and see what they have to say. I'm thinking it might be just their way of saying straight up that I'd be sharing with LGBT so that problems don't crop up down the line.
Kinda sad in this day and age that this stuff is still an issue.
Don't have many LGBT friends so I'm afraid I may be a wee bit sheltered to problems like this that I never even thought would exist.

Annasopra

I presume OP that if you are comfortable with living with gay/bi people in all aspects then it would not be a big problem

Nevyn

Well it's not just the 'straight' person who comes into the house it is thier friends and bf/gf as well which may impact on the house.

Annasopra

Thaedydal wrote: »

Well it's not just the 'straight' person who comes into the house it is thier friends and bf/gf as well which may impact on the house.

Fair point

OP if your boyfriend and friends are comfortable then I dont see a problem

Sauve

Ok so phoned the guy up and asked about the room....

Told him that I was straight and if asked it'd be a problem letting me a room. He said the reason he put that in the ad was basically just to put off potential homophobes which he's had plenty of problems with before.

Once I said it wouldn't be an issue for me as long as he didn't mind my bf staying the odd weekend it was all grand....

Like I said before, it's awful that things like this are still causing such issues.

flashhill

Homophobes would be my biggest fear as well, I know myself if I was adverting a room I would hate to have to just put gay-friendly but then yet again the current place I’m living I fear every time the landlord moves someone new in and on a Saturday or Sunday morning what there reaction is when they ask were was I out last night! Also would love if another gayer were moved in the constant talk of women is unfair.

Eebs

Glad it worked out OP.
I don't have a problem people putthing up things like that in an add, some girls would rather live just with girls, some lads only with lads - whatever your preference is. You have to share you living space with these people better to say it upfront then hassle to be caused later when deposits are handed over.

That said I know a lesbian friend of mine who put 'gay friendly' with her girly name up on Daft and got a load of pervs, one of whom went as far as to ask how thin the walls were so he could here her doing it. So next time she said 'gay, bi, lesbian' only to avoid that (but was open to living with anyone so long as they weren't homophobic).

I mean, your best bet is always to ask like the OP did. What's the worst that can happen - you won't get the place.