Human Fireball

Caoimhín · 02-01-2011 4:19pm #1

Right, Im not looking for sympathy (not like I'd get any here in AH, but this might give you all a laugh on this dull Sunday afternoon.

Anyway, when I came home yesterday after being in my parents house for xmas, i found that the oil had run out so the central heating was off and the house was freezing.

So I lit a big fire which kept me warm all day yesterday.

When I got up to a freezing cold house this morning I found a few embers of warm peat and coals in the fire. I was wearing my favourite fluffy bathrobe and slippers and so I put some fire-lighters, paper and turf onto the embers and started to blow on it, hoping it would catch fire again.

When that didnt work I had a bright idea to pour some petrol from the lawn mower can onto it to get it going.

Needless to say, the whole thing burst into flames, including my fluffy bathrobe, the hair on my arms, legs and eyebrows. I threw off the bathrobe and had to dance naked on it to put it out leaving blisters on my feet.

I had to get a lift into the Doctor on call and once he stopped laughing he dressed up the first degree burns on my legs, arms and feet.

I now look like an Egyptian mummie (but a happy one as im full of morphine!)

Moral of the story, don't run out of oil.

strokemyclover · 02-01-2011 4:23pm

I'm a Deep Heat and radiator man myself! Thanks Withnail!

KeithM89_old · 02-01-2011 4:23pm

Pics or GTFO

Last Halloween, i went to a fancy dress party with a friend and she decided to dress up as a sheep :rolleyes: - big massive cotton wool outfit.
Out in the smoking area of the club, someone dropped their ash on her and the costume slowly caught fire. All the smart people around her decided to put the fire out with their drinks and made it even worse...:p
Oh and she was fine btw - just went home a black sheep

Bob_the_dog · 02-01-2011 4:23pm

That's hilarious thing to do, run out of oil

dubtom · 02-01-2011 4:26pm

No,moral of the story,don't use petrol to light fires. Looks like your 2011 has got off to a good start, your alive and still have a house.

Absurdum · 02-01-2011 4:26pm

if it weren't against the charter I'd call you a dumbass LOFL

Derfil · 02-01-2011 4:28pm

You were nearly in line for a Darwin award!

Cheap Thrills! · 02-01-2011 4:31pm

:eek: Glad you survived the inferno OP. Vitamin e oil on the burns (much later after scabs fall off) will ensure they wont scar!

Sorry also, to hear of the demise of the fluffy dressing gown.

Canis Lupus · 02-01-2011 4:32pm

PETROL!!!! PETROL TO LIGHT A FIRE IN A HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

Jaysis man......

TheFullDuck · 02-01-2011 4:33pm

_feedback_ · 02-01-2011 4:33pm

You're lucky it wasn't worse - silly billy !

Lumen · 02-01-2011 4:39pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

PETROL!!!! PETROL TO LIGHT A FIRE IN A HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

Jaysis man......

The fluffy bathrobe reference probably indicates a woman.

Yes, petrol is explosive. Petrol....bomb. The clue is in the title.

Still, picking scabs is sweeeet.

Yakult · 02-01-2011 4:41pm

People do crazy stuff for Morphine

Bosco boy · 02-01-2011 4:42pm

Maybe firelogs aren't bad value after all!!

Nemanja91 · 02-01-2011 4:44pm

"I got blisters on me fingers"

Caoimhín · 02-01-2011 4:45pm

strokemyclover wrote: »

I'm a Deep Heat and radiator man myself! Thanks Withnail!

I actually have stuff called Deep Freeze for my back pain, it crossed my mind for about 2 seconds....

I can put up pics of my legs all bandaged up and hairless but I have no idea how to.

Anyway, im going for a pint to dull my embarrassment.

Micky Dolenz · 02-01-2011 4:46pm

You had fire lighters, why didn't you just use a match or a lighter? Surely fair less complicated than going outside to get petrol.

Calibos · 02-01-2011 4:47pm

You know what the problem with common sense is?

Its not very common!

:rolleyes:

Son Of A Vidic · 02-01-2011 4:47pm

Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire that's awful

So you did a 'flatley' then? As in..'Feet of flames'?

liah · 02-01-2011 4:50pm

Jaysus, man! Not smart!

Glad to hear you're okay, though.. must've been an interesting day!

epgc3fyqirnbsx · 02-01-2011 4:58pm

lol, reminds me of the time I had egg on my tie for a whole day! Mortifying...

Petrol though, that was a little silly but cheers for the laugh!

Caoimhín · 02-01-2011 5:02pm

KeithM89 wrote: »

Pics or GTFO

Human Fireball.jpg

There you go, but im not getting the burnt bathrobe out of the bin.

(Sorry about the milky white legs)

Caoimhín · 02-01-2011 5:04pm

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

You had fire lighters, why didn't you just use a match or a lighter? Surely fair less complicated than going outside to get petrol.

No matches and i tried to light newspaper off the toaster but it kept going out by the time i got to the sitting room.

Standard Toaster · 02-01-2011 5:11pm

You're a lucky, lucky man.

Least you get to eat loadza scabs now...yum!

theboss80 · 02-01-2011 5:18pm

Ya but did u get the fire lit?

I imagine u did but then had to leave it burn out as you had to go to doctors. hahaha glad you're ok though.

laura. · 02-01-2011 5:30pm

ahh i had actual tears coming outta my eyes laughing there (sorry) imagining you running outside in your fluffy bathrobe sything petrol out of the lawn mower, the shock on your face when you seen yourself goin on fire and dancing on it then trying to put flames out....

always handy to keep the number of the oil company on the mantlepiece in future..remember dont be a dingbat haha thanks for the laugh tho

amacca · 02-01-2011 5:58pm

Canis Lupus wrote: »

PETROL!!!! PETROL TO LIGHT A FIRE IN A HOUSE!!!!!!!!!

Jaysis man......

oh whats the big deal, Ive used petrol to light fires before.....op just needs to take some precautions and gain some experience or else use a more suitable dangerously flammable fuel to help light the fire.

like DIESEL!

i put some of it in an old windolene sprayer and squirt a bit on the sticks turf in fine spray.......works a treat everytime

little smoky though

anyway OP just cause you got burned once doesn't mean you cant improve your firelighting technique and enjoy many years of relatively safe unorthodox flammable fuel open fire lighting techniques for years to come.

Giselle · 02-01-2011 5:59pm

Those legs are going to be sore after you shower! Get some Bio-Oil in and use it on your burns to take the redness out.

Silly boy.

Caoimhín · 02-01-2011 6:08pm

Giselle wrote: »

Those legs are going to be sore after you shower! Get some Bio-Oil in and use it on your burns to take the redness out.

Silly boy.

Meh, with the amount of scars I have i'd need a bucket of Bio Oil.

Surgery 16.07.10.jpg

Giselle · 02-01-2011 6:19pm

Caoimhín wrote: »

Meh, with the amount of scars I have i'd need a bucket of Bio Oil.

Surgery 16.07.10.jpg

:eek:

Bionics would be the coolest explanation.

Caoimhín · 02-01-2011 6:35pm

Giselle wrote: »

:eek:

Bionics would be the coolest explanation.

I am the million dollar man.

Except without the million dollars

Human Fireball

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