Girl is way too serious.

LegacyUser

Met a girl online recently and the situation is she likes me way more than I like her. I've never had a girlfriend before (still in school, not out as gay, I live out in the middle of nowhere). She's really pushy and from the beginning was putting loads of x's and babes and stuff at the end of her messages. I tried to stay kind of platonic but I sort of felt forced into saying I felt something I didn't because she wouldn't stop texting me. I didn't want to meet up because I knew I was too busy for a long distance relationship but she basically said I was lying and just didn't like her. We've met once and now she's all talking about the year ahead and stuff. We have no common interests or like similar sense of humor. This has all happened over like 3 days, how do I get out of this without hurting her because she's a lovely girl, but as a friend.

killerking

pressured123 wrote: »

Met a girl online recently and the situation is she likes me way more than I like her. I've never had a girlfriend before (still in school, not out as gay, I live out in the middle of nowhere). She's really pushy and from the beginning was putting loads of x's and babes and stuff at the end of her messages. I tried to stay kind of platonic but I sort of felt forced into saying I felt something I didn't because she wouldn't stop texting me. I didn't want to meet up because I knew I was too busy for a long distance relationship but she basically said I was lying and just didn't like her. We've met once and now she's all talking about the year ahead and stuff. We have no common interests or like similar sense of humor. This has all happened over like 3 days, how do I get out of this without hurting her because she's a lovely girl, but as a friend.

Just tell her that you think you both should just be friends. Be honest and you won't hurt her feelings. If you continue on without telling her you will lead her to the wrong conclusion and you will hurt her feelings even though you didn't intend to.

Firetrap

Only thing you can do is come straight out (if you pardon the pun) and tell her that you're not interested in a relationship/only see her as a friend/don't think it's going to work. Whatever you think yourself is the best thing to say. The longer you prolong this, the worse it's going to be. There's no point in dropping hints - she doesn't sound like the sort who'll get the message and back off.

Fittle

My only question is why you're looking to meet women online when you're gay?

You are being very unfair to both yourself and this girl here OP - I'm not saying you should come out today or tomorrow, but you should really stop pretending to be something you're not, for your own sake.

By the way, you can't blame her for making you say something you didn't mean to say - she was only texting you, you could easily have ignored her. So whatever you said, she obviously has no clue you're gay.

I am a friend

You need to be honest!

beks101

Maybe the OP is a gay woman?

LegacyUser

I'm a lesbian, sorry I guess that might have been confusing. I mean she was texting me non stop. I turn on my phone and there are 6 messages from her. In the beginning I thought she only wanted to be friends,so I kept talking but then suddenly we were going into out somewhere and I didn't have time to really think. Do I just say listen I don't know if the long distance thing will work and maybe you'd be better off looking for someone closer to home or is that bad?

ted1

yeah i persumed the op is a girl.
Just tell her your only looking for a friend. Your not ready for anything.

Spirited54321

Your guest name sums it all up 'pressured', don't feel pressured. I know i have gotten myself into similar situations, where i am nice to someone and enjoy the initial flirting but then feel that they are coming on too heavy, and sometimes you go along a bit of the way because you don't want to hurt them or you don't know where your head is at, or maybe enjoy the attention, i think the best thing is to give her some form of gentle let down, and after that stop communicating. as the song goes.. you've got to be cruel to be kind in the right measures.

LegacyUser

We haven't spoken on the phone before, so would it be awful if I sent her an email explaining it? We've only known eachother a week like, but I don't want to drag her along. I don't think she realizes how busy I am at normal times of the year, like we will never ever get to talk.

Spirited54321

If you don't feel comfortable speaking on the phone to her then I think an email explaining is fine, it is definetly better than a text, as you can explain more. You are right you don't want to lead her on and it's good that you care how she feels but don't feel bad after, sometimes you have got to do what you have got to do.

OS119

OP, its possibly a difficult question, but why do you actually want to be friends with this person?

you've only known of her existance for a week but she's already all kinds of pushy and more than a bit 'bunny boiler' (the 'you're lying' comment after less than a week... really?) - perhaps you should ask yourself if you really want to be friends with her, or are just saying/thinking that because friends is less than girlfriend, and you don't want her as your girlfriend, so friends will do? (in a 'something must be done - this is something, so it must be done' kind of way).

if it were me - and i'm a git, so bear that in mind - i'd send her an email saying 'sorry, but this isn't working out for me, hope you have a nice life etc...' and then either block her on the networking site, or create a new profile, change your email address and get a new SIM card.

the number of messages you get, and the tone of them screams 'stalker/loon/obsessive' to me, better to nip this one in the bud and walk away than be the nice girl and try to manage a situation you aren't experienced in and that may be unmanagable anyway. good luck.