Shocked by friends confession.

LegacyUser

Sorry for being graphic-Friend of mine told me something which shocked other day,asked him why he was upset,told me years ago he when he was younger he used to do cybersex and webcam with girls,he said he couldn't remember some of their ages and thinks some could being in their late teens and from abroad,he said the guilt and shame is killing him now,i asked did he keep in contact with these people,said no contacts where deleted.

Obviously i told him it was foolish and dangerous but its in the past and needs to move foward,hes considering councilling for it,i am shocked what he told me but i dont think hes a bad person,he is in a stable relationship and has a good job at the moment.

Ickle Magoo

Are you unsure how to treat your friend or do you feel differently about them now? What part of your friends confession do you need advice about?

tenchi-fan

So I take it you're looking to give advice to your friend?

Just tell him counselling is a good idea. And no harm, no foul. The girls in their late teens obviously sought out that sort of material.

My friend's younger cousin (a girl 's in her early teens) used his computer when he was out and when he got back his google search box autocomplete was full of terms like "mens bums" and "naked men"

LegacyUser

hi,i just wanted to make sure what i suggested was right,he said he was upset he could had broke laws back then on it through his own tom foolery,but i said,its in the past and was dumb and providing he didn't try to meet anyone so he should relax.

LegacyUser

Sorry, am I missing something? What's the issue? That the girls might have been below the age of consent? (I'm not sure that this is what you mean since you say late teens...)

LegacyUser

yes,he thought one might had being 16 but not sure since happened years ago.

Zen65

beanieben wrote: »

....he said he was upset he could had broke laws back then on it through his own tom foolery

I don't know if there are laws in Ireland relating to cybersex, but perhaps somebody will confirm that?

If he was using a website which charges for webcam sessions, I think it is the site operator who is obliged to ensure that the paid participants are of legal age.

If this friend has grown out of the habit that's good. Since he cannot change the past he should stop dwelling on it, and just get on with his life.


Be at peace,

Z

Josh_Calvert

if you only knew what people are up too with no shame at all....seems like he's feeling too guilty over nothing major.Most of us have some kind of relationship with sex and porn and the internet...as long as he wasn't in contact with underage girls it's fine.

How old was he when he was doing these things? You said, "when he was younger", so how much younger? If he was in or around the same age as these girls, then it's not too bad.

Firetrap

It's pretty unlikely at this stage I'd have thought that he's going to get into trouble with the law on this one. So he's as well off to try and put it behind him and move on with his life. Perhaps donate money to a charity which helps victims of sex crime if he feels he wants to make up for what he did.

Sibylla

Deleted User wrote: »

How old was he when he was doing these things? You said, "when he was younger", so how much younger? If he was in or around the same age as these girls, then it's not too bad.

I agree it depends on what age he was. If the girls were underage then it was very wrong
personally I would find it difficult to continue the friendship after that. If they were of a similar age perhaps he was a teenager and it was some form of experimentation? You have to ask yourself do you value your friendship enough to deal with it or is it something you couldn't get past.

LegacyUser

Asked,said he was 20/21 when he did it,said he befriended them then it happened by casual flirting,as said they where in late teens.

lock thread before startle more people?

apologies.

dudara

Closing thread at OP's request

dudara