Feel like life is passing me by

LegacyUser

Hi I'm sorry this is a long post and over something very stupid, I just read it back and I'll probably be slated for never being happy but anyway........

Im only 22 yet I feel like I'm having a mid life crisis!

Im in University doing a course that I like, I'm not very good at it but I like it nonetheless and I can see me doing a job with something to do with it eventually.

But I feel as if I'm not living, I have a lovely girlfriend who I adore, I have a nice handy part time job at the weekends, I live in a nice wee flat, I have a nice car that I've worked hard to afford by all means I think I should be happy.
A few years ago if you told me I would have a beautiful girlfriend, a nice car and be doing a degree that I enjoyed I'd have been thrilled. Because about 4 years ago I was on the dole, single depressed and pissed off with the world feeling like I had no future.

The last few years have gone by way to quickly, I feel like I'll be thirty before I know it.
Nothing every happens. I get up at 9 I go to college and I come home I study I go to bed. Then at weekends I either work or meet up with my girlfriend.

Its like theres no excitement at all and time is going by so fast I feel like I'm wasting the prime years of my life. I cycle, I am active me and the GF go for walks everynow and then.

I suppose maybe its all because before I came to University I had a bit of a crazy life. I left school right after the junior cert had a string of jobs, I was always out with the lads back home going mental at gigs etc. I was a drummer, I had an old van that I drove around Europe in. I had a few old bangers as well that I liked fixing up. I used to take my Dad's boat out in really rough weather just to scare ourselves ****less it was a more adventerous time for me but I got deppressed and left it all behind because I thought my life was going no where and that I was wasting time. So I went to the UK to do the one degree course I could actually get into and enjoy.

By time I'm finished this course I'll be going on 25 and all that awaits me after that is a nice 9-5 job in ireland or elsewhere or postgraduate study.
Dont get me wrong the jobs I can get with this degree is exactly what I want and I can always take a year out and go mad again but I wanna earn money too because theres things in life that I want to do that I'm gonna need money for and I dont want to waste anymore time.

In short, I dont have a ****ing clue what I want! When I was single and lost without any future I was depressed, now that I have an epic girlfriend and a future Im still depressed!! I'm driving myself mad!!!

I dont know what to do!!

Theres another massive underlying issue too. Around this time last year I was suicidal, hated myself hated everyone and was giving serious thought to ending it. Luckily my parents somehow noticed everything that was going on just by my demenour on the phone over a couple of months and persuaded me to see a counsellor. I did and it was great, I'm so much happier than I was then. i reckon I had a social anxiety disorder, couldnt stand people and couldnt be around them but I've learned that I just need to let some things go let people be people. I dont know if that has anything to do with it but maybe it might help someone pin down why I feel this way.

Thanks for reading all that and thanks in advance for the advice

coconut5

Why don't you start drumming again? I think you're lacking a goal. You have it all going smooth enough, and you want some excitement. Fair enough. You should also think about how much you have, and try to be happy enough with that, instead of letting your mind wander into the future and getting panicky about it. You have absolutely no idea what your life will be like when you're 25, you just can't possibly predict. So I would just calm down and go out in your dad's boat again and enjoy life! And 22 is not old you fool!

alias141282

Sounds like you are suffering from depression again and you should go back and see your counsellor.

johnnyvega86

lifepasssingmeby wrote: »

Hi I'm sorry this is a long post and over something very stupid, I just read it back and I'll probably be slated for never being happy but anyway........

Im only 22 yet I feel like I'm having a mid life crisis!

Im in University doing a course that I like, I'm not very good at it but I like it nonetheless and I can see me doing a job with something to do with it eventually.

But I feel as if I'm not living, I have a lovely girlfriend who I adore, I have a nice handy part time job at the weekends, I live in a nice wee flat, I have a nice car that I've worked hard to afford by all means I think I should be happy.
A few years ago if you told me I would have a beautiful girlfriend, a nice car and be doing a degree that I enjoyed I'd have been thrilled. Because about 4 years ago I was on the dole, single depressed and pissed off with the world feeling like I had no future.

The last few years have gone by way to quickly, I feel like I'll be thirty before I know it.
Nothing every happens. I get up at 9 I go to college and I come home I study I go to bed. Then at weekends I either work or meet up with my girlfriend.

Its like theres no excitement at all and time is going by so fast I feel like I'm wasting the prime years of my life. I cycle, I am active me and the GF go for walks everynow and then.

I suppose maybe its all because before I came to University I had a bit of a crazy life. I left school right after the junior cert had a string of jobs, I was always out with the lads back home going mental at gigs etc. I was a drummer, I had an old van that I drove around Europe in. I had a few old bangers as well that I liked fixing up. I used to take my Dad's boat out in really rough weather just to scare ourselves ****less it was a more adventerous time for me but I got deppressed and left it all behind because I thought my life was going no where and that I was wasting time. So I went to the UK to do the one degree course I could actually get into and enjoy.

By time I'm finished this course I'll be going on 25 and all that awaits me after that is a nice 9-5 job in ireland or elsewhere or postgraduate study.
Dont get me wrong the jobs I can get with this degree is exactly what I want and I can always take a year out and go mad again but I wanna earn money too because theres things in life that I want to do that I'm gonna need money for and I dont want to waste anymore time.

In short, I dont have a ****ing clue what I want! When I was single and lost without any future I was depressed, now that I have an epic girlfriend and a future Im still depressed!! I'm driving myself mad!!!

I dont know what to do!!

Theres another massive underlying issue too. Around this time last year I was suicidal, hated myself hated everyone and was giving serious thought to ending it. Luckily my parents somehow noticed everything that was going on just by my demenour on the phone over a couple of months and persuaded me to see a counsellor. I did and it was great, I'm so much happier than I was then. i reckon I had a social anxiety disorder, couldnt stand people and couldnt be around them but I've learned that I just need to let some things go let people be people. I dont know if that has anything to do with it but maybe it might help someone pin down why I feel this way.

Thanks for reading all that and thanks in advance for the advice

Do you talk to anybody at all during the day or do you stay by yourself all the time and don't talk to anybody?

nyarlothothep

I don't think your wasting your time if you're learning something, thats time well spent imo. The 9-5 office routine can be avoided. Essentially one feels like ones work is pointless if one is alienated from its result, if you don't feel connected to your work and can claim ownership over the result it just feels like time wasted for someone else. To get to a position where you enjoy work is tricky enough, I'm still figuring it out but basically I would say plan well ahead to get to where you want to go. If you don't know then figure out what you could expect to enjoy doing through a process of weighing up pros and cons and elimination. Basically time invested in something you enjoy and can be proud of is time well spent.

LegacyUser

I am in the exact same situation as you - 22 and feeling like I haven't lived! I go to class, go to work, and hang out with the boyfriend. Same sort of background as well, rough times growing up, depressed, not caring / wreckless / fearless!

The best advice I can offer is try and get out there and do new things. Time and money are sometimes hard to come by, but when you do happen across one or the other it's okay to go do something adventurous or new, or even something outside of your comfort zone. All within reason, of course!
I know that's not the best advice ever, but it seems to help me. Also letting you know you're not alone! Welcome aboard!