Good news for parents with teenagers

Ninjedi

Now you can honestly tell your kids "no, it's not safe in the mouth either"

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The patient was a 15-year-old girl employed in a local bar. She was admitted to hospital after a knife fight involving her, a former lover and a new boyfriend. Who stabbed whom was not quite clear but all three participants in the small war were admitted with knife injuries.
The girl had some minor lacerations of the left hand and a single stab-wound in the upper abdomen. Under general anaesthesia, laparotomy was performed through an upper midline abdominal incision to reveal two holes in the stomach. These two wounds had resulted from the single stab-wound through the abdominal wall. The two defects were repaired in two layers. The stomach was noted empty at the time of surgery and no gastric contents were seen in the abdomen. Nevertheless, the abdominal cavity was lavaged with normal saline before closure. The condition of the patient improved rapidly following routine postoperative care and she was discharged home after 10 days.
Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain. Abdominal examination revealed a term pregnancy with a cephalic fetal presentation. The uterus was contracting regularly and the fetal heart was heard. Inspection of the vulva showed no vagina, only a shallow skin dimple was present below the external urethral meatus and between the labia minora. An emergency lower segment caesarean section was performed under spinal anaesthesia and a live male infant weighing 2800 g was born…
…While closing the abdominal wall, curiosity could not be contained any longer and the patient was interviewed with the help of a sympathetic nursing sister. The whole story did not become completely clear during that day but, with some subsequent inquiries, the whole saga emerged.
The patient was well aware of the fact that she had no vagina and she had started oral experiments after disappointing attempts at conventional intercourse. Just before she was stabbed in the abdomen she had practised fellatio with her new boyfriend and was caught in the act by her former lover. The fight with knives ensued. She had never had a period and there was no trace of lochia after the caesarean section. She had been worried about the increase in her abdominal size but could not believe she was pregnant although it had crossed her mind more often as her girth increased and as people around her suggested that she was pregnant. She did recall several episodes of lower abdominal pain during the previous year. The young mother, her family, and the likely father adapted themselves rapidly to the new situation and some cattle changed hands to prove that there were no hard feelings.

Comments
A plausible explanation for this pregnancy is that spermatozoa gained access to the reproductive organs via the injured gastrointestinal tract. It is known that spermatozoa do not survive long in an environment with a low pH (Jeffcoate1975), but it is also known that saliva has a high pH and that a starved person does not produce acid under normal circumstances (Bernards & Bouman 1976). It is likely that the patient became pregnant with her first or nearly first ovulation otherwise one would expect that inspissated blood in the uterus and salpinges would have made fertilization difficult. The fact that the son resembled the father excludes an even more miraculous conception.”

danniemcq

Now when that kid is getting bullied in years to come and someone says "you shoulda been a blowjob" she can just turn around and say "I was"

ItsAWindUp

So oral sex can lead to pregnancy, and this is supposed to be good news for parents?

Ninjedi

Well I was thinking more along the lines of that chain of events is so unlikely it could be considered a unique situation, but one that still allows parents to honestly give the warning "Don't let him put it in you anywhere unless you want to risk a baby!"

mp3kid

Up the arse is still grand though, yeah ?

hondasam

mp3kid wrote: »

Up the arse is still grand though, yeah ?

probably not !

liah

Odd, I could've sworn I saw this story ages ago, except it was somewhere in Africa or something, and it was pretty horrifying stuff.

That or my mind is playing tricks on me again.

hondasam

ItsAWindUp wrote: »

So oral sex can lead to pregnancy, and this is supposed to be good news for parents?

bad news for the men

TheZohanS

hondasam wrote: »

bad news for the men

Why? Men can't get pregnant.

Dancor

I was hoping the reveal was that he shagged the knife wound in her stomach.

Dravokivich

She had no vagina? :eek:

liah

TheZohan wrote: »

Why? Men can't get pregnant.

I'd imagine the insinuation is that guys can no longer use the excuse of not getting her pregnant to talk a girl into a blowjob. :pac:

Blitzkrieger

Jesus!

Well it was a virgin birth....

AckwelFoley

i bet snopes have something to say about this story

B0X

Dancor wrote: »

I was hoping the reveal was that he shagged the knife wound in her stomach.

I was certain that there was a puke smiley face for posts like these, unfortunatley there is none...

I motion for the introduction of said smiley face!

AnonoBoy

Dravokivich wrote: »

She had no vagina? :eek:

That was my reaction. How the hell did she have no vagina?

The lesson to parents here is make sure their kids don't get involved in knife fights just after oral sex.

That seems an easy enough rule to follow.

danniemcq

mp3kid wrote: »

Up the arse is still grand though, yeah ?

Yeah but unless you are REALLY lucky and she enjoys it you'll have a lot of begging to do before and cleaning of the house/buying gifts/never being in charge of the remote again after. esp if you wanna do it again...

Either that or say it slipped... repeatedly

hondasam

TheZohan wrote: »

Why? Men can't get pregnant.

NO but the will not get bj either

Tar.Aldarion

mmmm smell of bs in the morning

danniemcq wrote: »

Yeah but unless you are REALLY lucky and she enjoys it you'll have a lot of begging to do before and cleaning of the house/buying gifts/never being in charge of the remote again after. esp if you wanna do it again...

Either that or say it slipped... repeatedly

or you could be me and they will love it
<_<

tman

Precisely 278 days later the patient was admitted again to hospital with acute, intermittent abdominal pain.

She must've been some hulk of a girl to not notice she was preggers until then!!!:eek:

wyndham

Is it April Fools Day already?

danniemcq

Tar.Aldarion wrote: »

or you could be as small in that area as i am and they will love won't notice it
<_<

Fixed that for you Tar

Ninjedi

For ye of little faith (I was wondering how many posts before someone started):

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/discoblog/2010/02/01/ncbi-rofl-thats-one-miraculous-conception/