Why would a guy do this?

LegacyUser

Just a quick question. On Stephen's night I met a guy in a pub. We got on well, chatted for a while had a good laugh. At the end of the night we kissed. He asked me for my number a couple of times but I was a bit reluctant because usually when I do this, 99% of the time the guy who asks for my number doesn't text or else texts about 2 messages and thats it. At the end of the night I gave him my number. I woke up the next morning to a text from him that said "hope you got home safe and sound, take care". I texted back that evening and just said "I got home fine thanks, bit tired though, how are you today"? Since then which is two days ago, I have heard nothing. I am not upset as such, why would I be when I only met him once but I am a bit puzzled. Why would a guy ask for your number twice, text you the night you met and then when you text back, not reply?
I know there are probably a million answers to this but said I would post here anyway. It just seems really confusing.

Ickle Magoo

Honestly? I think some do it to make their advances look more legit and appear that they are after more than a quick grope for the night...

whatsamsn

It happens all the time op. Doesnt matter if you were the one giving the number or getting. Its all the same.
Quite frankly I dont know why people do it. If your not really into someone, why give the number/recieve the number :rolleyes: Personally I think its all down to drink and ego boost.

Just to hell with him and the rest of the lads who never called. But when you meet someone else again you like dont let these bad experiences stop you from giving out your number. Its just a process alot of people go through.

Wompa1

Or he's playing games and in which case "He's just not that into you" *snaps fingers and bobs head in ahh huuuu GUUURRRL type fashion*

whatsamsn

uh-hum.
you go girlfriend.

Giblet

Maybe because you weren't as cute as he thought you were when he awoke the next day.

John400

anontoday wrote: »

Just a quick question. On Stephen's night I met a guy in a pub. We got on well, chatted for a while had a good laugh. At the end of the night we kissed. He asked me for my number a couple of times but I was a bit reluctant because usually when I do this, 99% of the time the guy who asks for my number doesn't text or else texts about 2 messages and thats it. At the end of the night I gave him my number. I woke up the next morning to a text from him that said "hope you got home safe and sound, take care". I texted back that evening and just said "I got home fine thanks, bit tired though, how are you today"? Since then which is two days ago, I have heard nothing. I am not upset as such, why would I be when I only met him once but I am a bit puzzled. Why would a guy ask for your number twice, text you the night you met and then when you text back, not reply?
I know there are probably a million answers to this but said I would post here anyway. It just seems really confusing.

I'm assuming here that you like this guy and want this to go somewhere.

As regards why he hasn't been on to you for a couple of days, you're right when you say there could be a million reasons. He could be genuinely busy over this Christmas/New Year period etc..or he could even have returned to work today (as i know a lot of people are back in work this week).

If i was you i'd text him something like 'hi, how are things, what are your plans for New Years Eve etc'..something to that effect. If he's interested in you he'll respond.

LegacyUser

Maybe its because he text you late the previous night and you dint reply until the following evening..he might think your not bothered by him. I appreciate you didnt get the msg until the morning but you still waited a few hours to reply..in which case i would be thinking 'this girl aint too eager'

LegacyUser

<snip>

Op, just think of it as a bullet dodged. You don't want to be with a man who doesn't understand basic social skills. There are plenty of men out there who would (and will) treat you with a standard manner of respect.

dellas1979

2 more things Ive learned in 31 years on this earth.

1. Dont ever chase a man - it is only a very particular type of man who reponds properly to being chased, the rest will walk all over you.

2. The Island of lost men does exist, and its happened to everyone (yes, even supermodels and the like). Its a place where fellas go when they loose or misplace their balls.

Zaph

Giblet wrote: »

Maybe because you weren't as cute as he thought you were when he awoke the next day.

Giblet, you're around long enough to know that unhelpful posts can earn you a an infraction or ban in PI, but in case you're in doubt I suggest you re-read the charter.

wealthyman

Ehhhhhh Zaph???? There is NOTHING unhelpful about Giblet's post. Would say the same myself.

Giblet

Ok maybe a little harsh, but I really mean that sometimes you are with a girl, then in the sober morning, realise you aren't interested. I've seen it happen loads.

LegacyUser

wealthyman wrote: »

Ehhhhhh Zaph???? There is NOTHING unhelpful about Giblet's post. Would say the same myself.

I think it's very unhelpful, and I also think there's a misogynistic slant to the post. Giblet is quite obviously single, and quite obviously angry that he can't get women to like him.

LegacyUser

Giblet wrote: »

Ok maybe a little harsh, but I really mean that sometimes you are with a girl, then in the sober morning, realise you aren't interested. I've seen it happen loads.

That's happened to me with men too. It's hard to believe I even entertained them in the first place. My friends tell me that I'm shallow. I don't entertain them either. I'd rather be on my own than entertain dopey friends and ugly men.

dudara

wealthyman If you have a problem with a post, then please use the Report Post functionality to register your complaint. Please do not add to the thread.

dudara

LegacyUser

I think I'm going to go along the lines that he woke up and regretted being with me. Funny really because it's the first time I have given my number to a guy in about 6 months because this exact thing always happens. Ah well, it will probably be another 6 months again before I do!

Giblet

unregistered wrote: »

I think it's very unhelpful, and I also think there's a misogynistic slant to the post. Giblet is quite obviously single, and quite obviously angry that he can't get women to like him.

I better tell my wife that!

LegacyUser

Sorry, its me again. Just can't really understand the whole thing to be honest. Bit peeved that the one guy I give my number to doesn't get in contact. I must be the victim of this "waking up in the morning and realising they're not all that". Would he not have realised it that night when he texted me at 5 am though? Ah well, I'm completely over-thinking this but when it happens a lot there is probably something wrong from my end.

calibelle

You are over thinking it! It's Christmas week he could be busy with friends and family stuff, he could be married or have a girlfriend, maybe he realised he didn't really like you or maybe he just can't be bothered. He could have equally had an accident of some kind and not have his phone or just lost it.

The point I'm making is that you just won't know unless he contacts you. If he doesn't then you have the only answer that matters....he's not interested.

Just one point op and I'm not trying to hurt you here but your giving someone you met once an awful lot of thought and you said this has happened a few times, maybe you come across too interested yourself and need to chill out a bit? I could be totally wrong here but it's worth some thought.

Giblet

anontoday wrote: »

Sorry, its me again. Just can't really understand the whole thing to be honest. Bit peeved that the one guy I give my number to doesn't get in contact. I must be the victim of this "waking up in the morning and realising they're not all that". Would he not have realised it that night when he texted me at 5 am though? Ah well, I'm completely over-thinking this but when it happens a lot there is probably something wrong from my end.

The best thing to do is move on really, it's up to him now. Don't get too hung up on it, if he doesn't have the courtesy to text you he isn't worth the time anyway.

John400

Giblet wrote: »

The best thing to do is move on really, it's up to him now. Don't get too hung up on it, if he doesn't have the courtesy to text you he isn't worth the time anyway.

Why should the onus be completely on this guy to text her? This guy could be genuinely busy/working etc...

The OP has a genuine interest in this guy. Why can't she text him this week and ask 'How are things? etc'.?

If he doesn't respond then it's his loss, if he does then it's happy days.

Firetrap

Nobody is ever too busy that they can't take 30 seconds out of their busy lives to send a text.

Wompa1

Firetrap wrote: »

Nobody is ever too busy that they can't take 30 seconds out of their busy lives to send a text.

Thank you. That's what I say too! My girlfriend has left we me waiting for an hour or so on a few occasions which would be fine if she just told me but she doesn't bother her arse to send a text because she was too busy...grrr grinds my gears I say!

Seraphina

more importantly, why do some women think giving men your number is such a big deal, and get the impression that it implies some kind of contract or obligation on the part of the guy?!

you were reluctant to give out your number, because OH DEAR what if he doesn't text you?! who gives a damn? just forget about him!

scarymoon1

he text you at 5am - he was obviously still drunk and then when you text the next evening he regretted texting you as he only wanted some fun. simple as. get over it op - it happens all the time. harsh but you have to learn that most guys are only after one thiing in pubs/clubs. you might meet a decent guy in there an odd time but the majority are all the same when drunk.

Major Lovechild

Obviously he was a concerned gentleman who was inquiring into your safe return home. Sometimes it's that simple.

Q&A

Haha love these threads you always get some interesting posts but let’s not get into man bashing unnecessarily.


As a starter I wouldn’t get hung up on giving your number out to people you might actually like. Like other say keep it simple – you like someone give them your number. You’ve nothing to lose and potentially everything to gain.


On his side bad form for not texting, no one is that busy that they can’t text. Think Giblet made a good point (if not made in the best way ) but while everything was going well “in the moment” who knows what he was thinking the next day – perhaps on reflection the next day there was something about the night he didn’t like or perhaps it’s something going on his life that you don’t know about. … maybe he lost his phone. Who knows. I wouldn’t dwell too much on the night after all what do you really know about him and in turn what does he really know about you.


The real question is not why didn’t text but weather he’s worth another text or not – the princely sum of 12 cents (or indeed a webtext is free)! If you like the guy enough to give him your number what harm in sending him another text. Given that you had a good night in his company and went to the trouble of posting on here why not just say hi. Something simple with nothing to lose