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how to save my relationship???plz help

  • 28-12-2010 11:28am
    #1
    whatevatreva
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3 ✭


    hi
    thnks for reading.
    it would take me forever to explain this but basically
    with my boyf 7 years -
    basic problem is - we dont have sex -
    its been ongoing for long time - its my fault.
    i fancy him,when i look at him and when we rarely do anything like that i do enjoy it but we never do it - i always say no
    i dont know why
    i love this guy - i dont want anyone else like
    it has come to this - he says he loves me, he will stay with me but that he has just forced himself not to think of me in that way - and now he just doesnt ask me to do anything anymore -
    how do i change?
    what is wrong with me?

    we are drifting apart slowly - i wouldnt blame him for sleeping around but he hasnt

    this is killing me slowly
    what is wrong with me?
    how do i fix this???


Comments

  • #2
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Ah you poor thing, that sounds awful!!! I think you should get some councelling maybe?? Like your OH sounds very patient but at the end of the day you're hurting him. That's not fair, you have a responsibility to be the best partner you can be and you're not addressing this and it's gone on 7 years!!!! I'd say your OH's self-esteem and confidence are in shreds, I know mine would be in that situation. You really need to figure out why you're so opposed to close intimacy. I feel really sorry for your OH, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship and he's not getting that from you, I'm amazed he hasn't left to be honest. So yeah go and get some help with your problem, it's the least you can do. I really hope you go and get some help OP, because you'll be much happier if you do and so will your OH, your relationship will improve too.

    Best of luck.


  • #3
    Nody
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,375 CMod ✭✭✭✭Nody


    I'd echo that you need professional help; it sounds as you've got something lurking that you don't consciously want/can deal with and you'll need professional help to bring it up, understand it and deal with it. Be aware that it is not something that is done quickly; it will be months of discussions before getting there and it will involve rage, crying and emotional rollercoaster at times. Due to this also ensure that your OH is aware of what you’re doing and be open with him about it.


  • #4
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,193 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    I've been there with a girlfriend. She just never wanted sex. Claims she was attracted to me and sex was good when we had it but didn't have the drive. I have a low enough sex drive anyway so it wasn't a problem for the first year but after that it started to creep more and more into my mind and was becomming a serious issue.


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