hearbroken and have see him tonight

LegacyUser

hi all,
have been seeing best friends brother for few months now- not going out but ben in constant contact since august and met up few times as i have college in england.everything seemed great. im obliviously home for xmas and he was all for meeting up last weekend. i genuinely had christmas parties with places i used work with during summer so casually just laughed off meeting up (i no that sounds bad, but suppose did'nt want make myself too available as he fobbed me off weeks previously as he had a oh so important team training weeknd up country) so i was suppose playing games to be honest..since monday he has gone all wierd not replying for ages, then not answering even casual questions..and now low and behold one liners! i was so upset yesterday, did'nt think he was like this...got a one liner of a xmas message yesterday which i replied back same to, he text later which i didnt reply to coz nothing to reply to ..
is he trying to make me stop texting him? v confused with his sudden change..he knows i like him, has never been shy in coming forward before this..
worst is heading out with sis tonight and he'll be out, feel such tool why he is 'ignoring me' really appreciate any thoughts on above..

[-0-]

Seriously... I don't mean to sound mean but games are ridiculous. You're suffering now because you wouldn't just be up front and honest with him. We don't know what's on his mind. How about asking him? God forbid you might actually get an answer by communicating.

johnboysligo

he is probably just as confused as you. you went to some christmas party over spending a little time with him that to me sends the wrong signals.


p.s. playing the "but he went to team training" card doesn't cut it here ( for me at least) He has a commitment to his team mates and he probably gives a hoot about whatever sport he is playing canceling all that to see you when and then if you did brush him off over christmas he would be pissed and probably dump you.

LegacyUser

op here again, thanks all he txd there earlier all normal like nothing is wrong after he ignoring my last few msgs with silly one liners..i know im partly blame for games johnboysligo, but he is at it too! im gaa fan myself and have had boyfriends into gaa before but what got me was wasnt just weekend away was 'team meeting' night before going away that i wanted meet up...

i havent replied to his msg yet because in my mood yesterday i arranged to spend day with friends today...dont want mention this rite nw..as his msg asked wat i was doing today.i know ur right -0- about asking him straight out, communication seems have gone so wierd at min, one min all chat next ignoring my msgs with silly replies

meanwhile am getting questions from sis- about how things are- like id know at minute!!!
think paranoia is setting in ..think he's just tired me and wants be seen as 'sound' by keeping texting with sis being in my class in college etc??

unregistered

unregistered wrote: »

he was all for meeting up last weekend. i genuinely had christmas parties with places i used work with during summer so casually just laughed off meeting up (i no that sounds bad, but suppose did'nt want make myself too available as he fobbed me off weeks previously as he had a oh so important team training weeknd up country)...


...did'nt think he was like this...got a one liner of a xmas message yesterday which i replied back same to, he text later which i didnt reply to coz nothing to reply to ..

...why he is 'ignoring me' really appreciate any thoughts on above..

He's not ignoring you. You were the one who didn't text back. I know you feel you didn't have anything to text back to, but you can't expect him to text you twice in a row without any reply. You were the one who started all this game-playing business, this is the result. You initiated a situation whereby both of you are now trying to play hard to get. Unless he's either extremely understanding or pretty weak, you're not going to get much out of him until you give him something to work with.

Look at it from his point of view. You guys have been in contact, you come back, he already has a whole weekend away with his team planned. Did you really expect him to let down his team, cancel all his reservations (accomodation, food, these things especially in groups are usually planned way in advance so he would have already paid for it) when he thought he could just see you in a weeks time? The fact is, it WAS important. And then after waiting a week you said yourself he was all for meeting up. But you felt like you weren't his top priority in life (a guy that you're not married to or anything) so you casually laugh off the idea of meeting up. That's rude. At least he explained to you why he couldn't the week before. Now you're upset because you didn't think he was like this. Like what though? What has he actually done wrong? I'm not surprised his attention is waning.

Call him, text him, whatever, but make the first move, he deserves it. All us girls have irrational freakouts sometimes, I think this might be yours.

LegacyUser

thanks all , i really appreciate the honesty.
coz it is something i cant really bring up with my best friend as its her brother...
he did tx there earlier all like nothing was up full of chat but i didnt reply because just dont no what to say. communication just gone so wierd, he asked me what was up to for day. my friends realised the bad mood was in yesterday so refused allow me mope around today and dragged me off on a road trip this morning now ends up stephens nite is gonna be spent in different part country! part reason havent replied also is that dont know how im gonna explain this without really messing things up completely..
i know i have played my fair share games- what really got me re team weekend away was that nite before they had a 'very important meeting' that i was informed would be very boreing but he'd like go!!! that wording really got me..
then i think paranoia setting in- is he just getting fed up of me and wants be seen as 'sound' infront of sister for been last 1 texn..??

johnboysligo

I think if you like him you shouldn't read into it too much. relax & try to drop some of the shot for shot mentality.
Give him the attention you honestly think he deserves and if he doesn't give you the attention you want, back off. Your best friend will understand that if she doesn't see your point than she isn't much of a friend.
Nobody on boards.ie can tell you with 100% certainty if you should or shouldn't reply but I can tell you that the longer you hang onto these issues the worse they will make you feel.

dudara

OP - some of your posts are bordline txtspk which is not allowed in this forum.

Please make an effort to structure your posts properly - it will help people understand better what you are trying to communicate.

OP - talk to the man. Ask him out for coffee or an early drink and talk to him. Find out if you two have "a thing" or not.

dudara

tashiusclay

And remember, games are for children, not adults. Just be straight with people, and it'll always work out better.

LegacyUser

thanks all for the advice, op here, i decided to stop playing games and asked him to meet up, then something i couldnt avoid came up night in question, but a date is set now b4 new years so we'll see!!

dudara

Well done & good luck.