Dont know what to do

LegacyUser

I will try to keep this as short as I can.

Have you ever met someone from a dating site/internet and things didn't work out as well as you'd hoped?

The brief backstory is that I met a girl from a dating site. The lead-up had been great, everything was going well, I really liked her, she really liked me. But we met and while she still seemed quite into me, I wasn't into her as much. Looks wise she was attractive so that wasn't the issue. I just felt like we were very different people personality wise to the point where we would be incompatible. But I didn't really pick up on this before we met which surprised me.

Anyway I kind of said we shouldn't meet again and she seemed to take it quite well. The problem is now a few days later, she's still creeping into my thoughts and I'm wondering if I pulled the plug too soon? She seemed a bit full on and intense and I guess I would have liked had things been a bit more relaxed and chilled out. My overriding feeling when we went our seperate ways was that I wasn't that bothered and I didn't think it was going to work out.

So why am I now still thinking about her and wondering if I should get in touch and suggest meeting up and giving it a 2nd chance? Did I really pull the plug too soon or do I just want a relationship so much that I'm willing to ignore obvious warnings signs, just so I can be with someone?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? If so, how did you handle it and how did it work out?

I really don't want to mess this girl around and be one of these people who starts sending texts and comes across like I'm just lonely or looking an ago boost.

Thanks for reading.

curlzy

I'd say your initial instincts were correct. You're just having doubts now but your initial judgements were probably correct, that you are incompatible. What do you see with hindsight that makes you re-think it? Has anything changed to make you think you would be compatible? She sounds like she was full-on so she might not be someone you wanna be inconsistent with, being hot and cold can turn a needy person into a basketcase so proceed with caution.

LegacyUser

confusedconfusedconfused wrote: »

I will try to keep this as short as I can.

Have you ever met someone from a dating site/internet and things didn't work out as well as you'd hoped?

The brief backstory is that I met a girl from a dating site. The lead-up had been great, everything was going well, I really liked her, she really liked me. But we met and while she still seemed quite into me, I wasn't into her as much. Looks wise she was attractive so that wasn't the issue. I just felt like we were very different people personality wise to the point where we would be incompatible. But I didn't really pick up on this before we met which surprised me.

Anyway I kind of said we shouldn't meet again and she seemed to take it quite well. The problem is now a few days later, she's still creeping into my thoughts and I'm wondering if I pulled the plug too soon? She seemed a bit full on and intense and I guess I would have liked had things been a bit more relaxed and chilled out. My overriding feeling when we went our seperate ways was that I wasn't that bothered and I didn't think it was going to work out.

So why am I now still thinking about her and wondering if I should get in touch and suggest meeting up and giving it a 2nd chance? Did I really pull the plug too soon or do I just want a relationship so much that I'm willing to ignore obvious warnings signs, just so I can be with someone?

Has this ever happened to anyone else? If so, how did you handle it and how did it work out?

I really don't want to mess this girl around and be one of these people who starts sending texts and comes across like I'm just lonely or looking an ago boost.

Thanks for reading.

Maybe she was nervous in some way or another when she met you? I say give her a second chance, otherwise you will be wondering about the "What if" aspect of it.

Everyone deserves a second chance, besides you have got nothing to loose!

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies.

She's definitely not needy at all but even so, I still don't want to mess her around and seem hot and cold. I know she was nervous so I guess that could have been a factor. I definitely had concerns about our compatibility while we were out so I guess that's why. We both had been drinking and I think she was a bit drunk by the end which may have skewed things potentially.

We kissed and it was very enjoyable and we both got aroused by it which I guess is part of my confusion too.

I'm in my late twenties so you'd think I'd have more sense by now and be able to work this out by myself.

booksale

Hi, OP, just be honest with her and tell her you want to take things slow. tell her that you are not sure about the feelings to her but you enjoy her company and want to go out with her more to see how things go. meanwhile, you guys can still go on dates with others. if she is pressuring you into a closed relationship, then, just walk away as this surely is not going to work with pressure.

i dont know how much of 'incombatity' would make a relationship fail. but yet, physical arousal means little to confirm the relationship can work.

LegacyUser

op again.

I decided to get in touch and she has said she wants to leave things as they are, so nothing more will be happening. I still think it was good to make contact again as to be honest, it feels like it has given me closure and I can move on.

Thanks for the advice.

Mods, please lock this thread now.

Ickle Magoo

Locked at OP's request.