Driving me insane!!!

xlou89x

Ok so in a bit of a dilema at the minute, been with my boyf for 4years now..and im 21 by the way, anyways his parents asked me down for xmas this year, and I am delighted about that as I'd love 2spend it with him and his family, however to be polite I ran it by my parents who are having a freak out(to put it lightly) as they dont think i should be away from family for xmas,howver I dont get on with them particulary well anyways & would love to have xmas with my boyf.
got told to not even bother giving them presents if im not gonna be here,etc..Any advice,supposed to be heading 2moro but there still going mental about it...
thanks,
Lou x

Toots

Your parents are being very immature IMO. If I were you I'd go and try to enjoy Christmas with your BF and his family.

xlou89x

thanks...your not the only one who thinks that. Its just gonna be an awkward situation once the xmas is over,but maybe its worth it.

LegacyUser

I disagree, Christmas is supposed to be about family, and being with them even if it's not the most fun thing to do. Your young, only 21, you'll have many years in the future with your boyfriend or to spend it as you like...it means a lot to your family to have you around, give them that gift for another few years

xlou89x

guest252 wrote: »

I disagree, Christmas is supposed to be about family, and being with them even if it's not the most fun thing to do. Your young, only 21, you'll have many years in the future with your boyfriend or to spend it as you like...it means a lot to your family to have you around, give them that gift for another few years

I can see ur point with that one, however like I said i dont get along with them as well as my sister and it generally ends up me spending the majority of the day in my room, but if i go this year il have a few nights out and get to see al my friends thatt live up near my boyf.

Kiera

I think your family are being very harsh. I've done the BF Christmas thing and my family didnt mind. They knew they'd see me at some stage. You're old enough to do what you like tbh. Go have fun!

muboop1

I think it depends on the person. In my house, Christmas is about family...

Wouldn't imagine being elsewhere

SarahMs

My second Christmas away from family (22) and honestly, as long as I gave them advance warning and explained why I wasn't gonna be there they were ok.

At the end of the day Christmas is just a day..... maybe assure them you will spend a day later on with them, maybe suggest to cook them dinner etc as an alternative

tinkerbell

OP - you've been with your boyfriend for four years now so it's obviously a pretty serious relationship and your parents are surely well aware of that.

Of course your parents are going to have an issue the first time you spend it away. But if you want to spend the day with your boyfriend and his family, well then you're just gonna have to tell them and they have to suck it up. They are being very immature in my opinion.

The first time I spent Christmas at my boyfriend's house - I found it very hard being away from my family for the first time ever on Christmas Day. So did my parents. But the year before, my bf spent it with me and my family, away from his parents. So it was only fair that the following year I spent it with his. We went to my family then for New Years. Why don't you do that? Compromise with your parents - tell them you are spending Christmas Day with your bf and you'll do the New Years celebrations with them (assuming you live in different parts of the country and therefore going over for St Stephen's Day is not possible).

curlzy

Hey OP,

Could you do both maybe? Me and my OH do that, we go to mine until areound 5 and then over to his, maybe give that a try. If you can't do that then I would just go to the BF, you say you don't exactly be gathered around the tree singing carols at home so why sit in your room when you could be with your BF. Tell them nicely that you really want to go to the BF's and if they don't like it, well they'll get over it.

Best of luck.

killerking

xlou89x wrote: »

Ok so in a bit of a dilema at the minute, been with my boyf for 4years now..and im 21 by the way, anyways his parents asked me down for xmas this year, and I am delighted about that as I'd love 2spend it with him and his family, however to be polite I ran it by my parents who are having a freak out(to put it lightly) as they dont think i should be away from family for xmas,howver I dont get on with them particulary well anyways & would love to have xmas with my boyf.
got told to not even bother giving them presents if im not gonna be here,etc..Any advice,supposed to be heading 2moro but there still going mental about it...
thanks,
Lou x

All parents want all the family home for Christmas.
That's not going to change until they are dead.
If you want to have a strong relationship with your parents you stick to tradition and meet up for Christmas, funerals, Christenings, weddings, etc etc.
Otherwise forget about it.
That's just a fact of life for everybody.

Jack B. Badd

killerking wrote: »

All parents want all the family home for Christmas.

Wanting something is one thing, throwing what amounts to a tantrum cos you don't get it is something else. Although I heard recently of a number of young married couples who don't spend xmas together because they're with their individual families. That's sounds daft as f*ck to me so maybe I'm living in cloud cookoo land

Op if this is an issue this year I suggest preparing them now for next year and beyond. How about a 2 year cycle (1 year with his family, the next with yours) or better yet a 3 year cycle so that ye can spend the 3rd year just the two of ye (downtime!)...?

steel_spine

killerking wrote: »

.
If you want to have a strong relationship with your parents you stick to tradition and meet up for Christmas, funerals, Christenings, weddings, etc etc.
Otherwise forget about it.
That's just a fact of life for everybody.

That is total bull.

killerking

steel_spine wrote: »

That is total bull.

How so?

Parents want their kids home for Christmas and every other occasion.
They don't take no for an answer.