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Workaholic ex

  • 20-12-2010 11:02pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    From doing a bit of research, just realised what was up with my ex. I always knew he was a "slogger" re work, but now see he was a classical workaholic, work totally consumed him& destroyed our relationship. At the time, I couldn't understand, only now do I see this wasn't really him, he has a form of OCD.
    I don't know that I want us to get back together (too much water under the bridge), but equally, I hate to think of him destroying his life/future relationships with this work obsession,& not getting the help he needs. There's no liklihood of his family enlightening him, as they are all high achievers& obsessed with academic achievement. There's no hope of friends helping him out because he's totally isolated himself from them& is engrossed in studying ALL of the time. So that just leaves me. Before we broke up, he admitted he needed therapy, but I doubt he's followed through on this.
    I'm sure I'd come across as "the bitter ex" by getting in contact to say any of this to him. Is there any point?


Comments

  • #2
    ellie1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 360 ✭✭ellie1


    Do not contact him.
    You are not responsible for him. He is more than likely aware of his own issues and problems so it is up to him to find his own solutions for them. You cant do it for him.


  • #3
    Improbable
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,576 ✭✭✭Improbable


    If he's already admitted that he needs therapy, then I wouldn't really get involved. He knows about the problem and it's his decision whether to do something about it.


  • #4
    curlzy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Hey OP,

    If you are are still friendly or things ended amiacably then I would consider writing him a letter. Note down the definition of a workaholic and how he fits the bill, then give him contact details for support group/counsellor, finish of by wishing him well. Don't do this with a view to getting back with him, that wouldn't end well.

    Best of luck.


  • #5
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    No, don't get in touch - it's not the place of the ex to tell him how to live his life, and what's wrong with him. Do you really think he'll listen if you start telling him 'oh, here's a list of all the things that are wrong with you and I think you should fix yourself'
    Maybe, just maybe, if you were still together then you could have had that conversation, but not anymore


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