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living in a rut with OH

  • 20-12-2010 10:16pm
    #1
    mollybird
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,053 ✭✭✭


    hi there people,
    living with OH over 6 months now and am finding lately that we doign the same thing every evening. on our laptops or watching our fav tv progammes. just so sick of it.

    do any of ye find ye have times like that with your OH's and how do ye get out of it??


Comments

  • #2
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    I don't mean to be harsh here, but if you and your partner are already in a rut after 6 months of living together, do you REALLY want a proposal from this guy???


  • #3
    Edgedinblue
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,166 ✭✭✭Edgedinblue


    Madame Razz wrote: »
    I don't mean to be harsh here, but if you and your partner are already in a rut after 6 months of living together, do you REALLY want a proposal from this guy???

    Thats exactly what i was gonna say.

    But in my experience, this is how my night goes nearly every night. and to be honest with you i find it comfy and nice. we have our nights out of course, so you can too. you just need to say "lets go out" and if he doesnt wanna go out, grab a couple of the girls together and pop out to the cinema or pub for a few hours. it'll break up your evening at least and its not that hard to ask your OH does he wanna pop out for a pint or dinner.


  • #4
    Madame Razz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 13,252 ✭✭✭✭Madame Razz


    You have the relationship you want to have; I'm a firm believer of this. Nobody forces you to sit in front of the TV/laptop, you could go for a walk/gym/swim/visit friends/go shopping/do a course of some sort. You could write a book, have epic sex, cook together etc etc. You don't have to spend every night together either, if anything it's nice to come home to each other having done your own thing for the evening. Life doesn't just happen, you make it happen; that might sound clichéd, but it's the truth.


  • #5
    Mercy Seat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35 ✭Mercy Seat


    I found this a lot with my ex-partner, we both sunk very quickly into our own routines - usually one of us on the computer and one watching the telly.

    Got to the point for me that I had to just sit down and talk with him about it. We ended up making a point of following certain tv shows together, and making some 'us' time every week/every couple of days (whether it was just turning tv etc off for dinner, going out, chatting, catching up on day, or other).

    Everything said in the above post, actually is spot on. For me, my biggest problem is that when I go home, that's when I'm least happy to socialise/be around people, so I tend to become quite introverted - it can take a lot of effort to get out of the routine/comfortzone ye're in... Be aware of each others' personal boundaries and need for time and space, but do communicate and try to work out the best things ye can do together.


  • #6
    Maple
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 16,186 ✭✭✭✭Maple


    Moved from TLL, I feel it would be better suited here.

    Maple.


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  • #7
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    mollybird wrote: »
    hi there people,
    living with OH over 6 months now and am finding lately that we doign the same thing every evening. on our laptops or watching our fav tv progammes. just so sick of it.

    Then why haven't you changed it?
    What is it you want to do instead?
    If you want things to change in some way, it's up to you to make the effort.


  • #8
    Wompa1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 8,193 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    mollybird wrote: »
    hi there people,
    living with OH over 6 months now and am finding lately that we doign the same thing every evening. on our laptops or watching our fav tv progammes. just so sick of it.

    do any of ye find ye have times like that with your OH's and how do ye get out of it??

    I'd imagine that's part of living together. What he does in his alone time won't change if he lives with you. If you want to do stuff then suggest it...


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