No such thing as casual sex...

LegacyUser

So I met this girl a few weeks ago. We went for a drink and had a kiss and she said wanted to see me again. I replied that I wasn't really looking for anything serious but if she wanted to have some fun I was up for that.

So we've been out a few times since, mainly for sex. She's a nice girl but I'm not really feeling a connection and wouldn't like it to be more than what it is. However, I think she's getting more into and has started sending me cutesy messages and stuff.

I want to nip this in the bud without hurting her feelings. We're both going home for Xmas so I won't see her for a bit. Technically it's not a "breakup" so what's the best way to handle the situation? I was thinking about just giving her a brief "have a good Christmas" message and hopefully after not seeing me for 2 weeks she'll feel better about the "I don't think we should keep doing this" in the New Year.

What do you think?

Miss Fluff

christmas break wrote: »

Technically it's not a "breakup" so what's the best way to handle the situation? I was thinking about just giving her a brief "have a good Christmas" message and hopefully after not seeing me for 2 weeks she'll feel better about the "I don't think we should keep doing this" in the New Year.

What do you think?

Absence makes the heart grow fonder unfortunately so if she is getting attached, even a casual-seeming message could be misconstrued as you being attentive. If you sense that she is getting fond of you (sounds it if she is sending you cutesy message) then you need to nip this in the bud now tbh before any feelings get hurt and make it clear you won't be seeing her again.

The "I don't think we should be doing this" kind of loses its meaning if you're mid-thrust doesn't it?

If you don't want to see her anymore be firm but kind and for goodness sake don't see her again, regardless of how horny you feel.

LegacyUser

The message needs to be crystal clear about your intentions/lack thereof. If she's started to develop feelings for you, then she will be hurt, end of. You can't help this. You can only be honest about it- this wasn't what you signed up for.
If you've a sister or close female friend, treat this girl as you would like them to be treated.

allandanyways

What did she say when you told her you weren't looking for anything serious? If you were straight up adamant with the girl that you didn't want anything other than sex then she clearly didn't get the point.

If you want to have something casual with a girl, the intentions have to be laid out from the start. Like in big, bold writing. With flashing lights on them.

If she's getting attached OP, you're gonna have to tell her it's not working out for you. With the cutesy messages, it's highly likely that she's getting attached so before things start getting messy with her getting jealous of other girls/asking where this is going blah blah blah, break it off.

dsmythy

Miss Fluff wrote: »

Absence makes the heart grow fonder unfortunately so if she is getting attached, even a casual-seeming message could be misconstrued as you being attentive. If you sense that she is getting fond of you (sounds it if she is sending you cutesy message) then you need to nip this in the bud now tbh before any feelings get hurt and make it clear you won't be seeing her again.

The "I don't think we should be doing this" kind of loses its meaning if you're mid-thrust doesn't it?

If you don't want to see her anymore be firm but kind and for goodness sake don't see her again, regardless of how horny you feel.

I'd get the message out to her before Christmas too. Earlier the better really in these types of situations.

greenprincess

Text her saying something like, 'I've really enjoyed spending time with you but I dont think we should see each other again. I hope you have a lovely christmas.' If you have to end with something end with bye, not talk to you soon, or see you later this will imply you are going to contact her again.

End it now she might meet someone great over christmas and take it no further because she thinks there is something going to happen with ye