Courtesy Flush

kfallon

Do you 'courtesy flush' when on the throne in work/pub/public toilets when someone else is drawn in the trap alongside you?

I always do, nobody wants to hear me dropping bombs and also it hides the sound if I let a sneaky and unexpected ripper out when 'pushing'.

Just been in work and there's some poor craytur in there and he was in awful trouble, sounded like an orchestra tuning up for a big performance, must have been on the beer all weekend!

Biggins

Lovely topic!

/sarcasm

Pherekydes

In before the thread gets flushed down the drain.

Dravokivich

you flush while you shít?

bungler

Has to win thread of the day

kfallon

Biggins, we have to address the issues of the day no matter how good/bad they are!

Still didn't stop you getting in with the first reply as usual :pac:

bungler

Dravokivich wrote: »

you flush while you shít?

I agree if you flush while havin a Brad Pitt, surely there is a huge chance of unwanted splash back on your marble pouch

Biggins

kfallon wrote: »

Biggins, we have to address the issues of the day no matter how good/bad they are!

Still didn't stop you getting in with the first reply as usual :pac:

I'm flushed with success!

kfallon

bungler wrote: »

I agree if you flush while havin a Brad Pitt, surely there is a huge chance of unwanted splash back on your marble pouch

Na no splashback but you do run the risk of a blockage and the water getting higher and higher and you being chased out of the cubicle by your own 'produce'!

It's like toilet Russian Roullette but then again some of us are just naturally crazy risk takers

FatherLen

why would i flush while i was ****ting? that is both stupid and inconvenient.

PandyAndy

You could just put a few sheets of toilet paper down first, then no one hears you 'dropping bombs'.

Bob_the_dog

Whats with people flushing as soon as they into the stall before the action commences? Clean freaks:)

admiralofthefleet

i did about 20 mins ago, i left the toilet bowl looking like a tigers back so one was needed. i had a right feed of guinness and dark ale last night so im blaming that

Plazaman

Dravokivich wrote: »

you flush while you shít?

Surely no point in risking buttocks being wettened by dubious splashback from a public toilet when a good loud cough at the point of release would do.

artvandulet

kfallon wrote: »

Do you 'courtesy flush' when on the throne in work/pub/public toilets when someone else is drawn in the trap alongside you?

I always do, nobody wants to hear me dropping bombs and also it hides the sound if I let a sneaky and unexpected ripper out when 'pushing'.

Just been in work and there's some poor craytur in there and he was in awful trouble, sounded like an orchestra tuning up for a big performance, must have been on the beer all weekend!

surely you just stay in the jacks till they are gone and then make your exit. Make as much noise as you want then and nobody knows who it is. Then walk back into your office with a pen in your mouth looking busy as if you werent in the bog at all. In a pub, who cares, you dont know the other people anyway.

kfallon

artvandulet wrote: »

surely you just stay in the jacks till they are gone and then make your exit. Make as much noise as you want then and nobody knows who it is. Then walk back into your office with a pen in your mouth looking busy as if you werent in the bog at all. In a pub, who cares, you dont know the other people anyway.

Ah ha the culprit reveals himself, now I know who was in Trap 3 15 minutes ago!!!

As for the sheets of paper down in the toilet, that won't stop the noise of a renegade fart :pac:

FlutterinBantam

Sign of weakness and lack of self esteem to hold back when dumping the ass chowder.

I always stride into the bogs confidently,select a stall beside an occupied one, drop the kex,ignoring keys and change jangle and spool up the nipsy for a 'max thrust' blow out.

If there is some backfiring before the unload,so what,the main objective is to dump the load like a box of shoes out of an attic.

Ignore the 'Sweet jaysus' or Holy divine fuck' stuff from the adjoining pod and back out your links with pride.

A sure way to impress your fellow shítter is to bunt out a thick corny log from the 'hover'. Just sigh "Aaaaaah" as the cigar cutter nips it off and listen for the gasp of awe as she slam dunks into the water.

Got a round of applause for one in the UCD shitters last year.

Be not afraid:D

AdMMM

Had a horrible moment yesterday in work after dropping a wonderful hangover **** that blocked the toilet. Only then did I realise that it was actually yours truly that would have to unblock it the thing

Krusader

PandyAndy wrote: »

You could just put a few sheets of toilet paper down first, then no one hears you 'dropping bombs'.

this is my own tactic, the worst is farting on the jax 'cause the bowl echos it around the toilet, it does sound like you have the skuts

Saila

No why bother ffs

freaks!

AntiMatter

I've never engaged in this practise, but I do sometimes flush mid-pee, and then it's a race between me and the flush, to see who finishes first.

ejmaztec

Is coughing and singing suddenly out of fashion?

laugh

And splash me dangler? no way hoze.

bungler

kfallon wrote: »

Na no splashback but you do run the risk of a blockage and the water getting higher and higher and you being chased out of the cubicle by your own 'produce'!

It's like toilet Russian Roullette but then again some of us are just naturally crazy risk takers

Hold on, Blockage?????

Do you not crap for a year and save it for one almighty barry white?

jester77

Flushing while on the throne :eek:

Wait until they introduce water taxes and your embarrassment will quickly float away!

kfallon

jester77 wrote: »

Flushing while on the throne :eek:

Wait until they introduce water taxes and your embarrassment will quickly float away!

Eh read the first post again, I don't share my toilet at home when I'm taking a dump, do I? :rolleyes:

PeterIanStaker

I grunt, thrust and groan loudly while upon the throne, but as I leave the vacant cubicle I warn the next occupant "don't go in there for a while - that one had eyes and a tail"

Son Of A Vidic

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Sign of weakness and lack of self esteem to hold back when dumping the ass chowder.

I always stride into the bogs confidently,select a stall beside an occupied one, drop the kex,ignoring keys and change jangle and spool up the nipsy for a 'max thrust' blow out.

If there is some backfiring before the unload,so what,the main objective is to dump the load like a box of shoes out of an attic.

Ignore the 'Sweet jaysus' or Holy divine fuck' stuff from the adjoining pod and back out your links with pride.

A sure way to impress your fellow shítter is to bunt out a thick corny log from the 'hover'. Just sigh "Aaaaaah" as the cigar cutter nips it off and listen for the gasp of awe as she slam dunks into the water.

Got a round of applause for one in the UCD shitters last year.

Be not afraid:D

As ever, the Master has spoken.

Mr. Manager

I just grab a few sheets of paper, give the seat a wipe, throw the paper in and use that to cushion to fall.

Angron

Cereal Rapist wrote: »

I just grab a few sheets of paper, give the seat a wipe, throw the paper in and use that to cushion to fall.

This. It's a solid enough tactic.

u140acro3xs7dm

AntiMatter wrote: »

I've never engaged in this practise, but I do sometimes flush mid-pee, and then it's a race between me and the flush, to see who finishes first.

I often play that game too,

PeterIanStaker

FlutterinBantam wrote: »

Sign of weakness and lack of self esteem to hold back when dumping the ass chowder.

I always stride into the bogs confidently,select a stall beside an occupied one, drop the kex,ignoring keys and change jangle and spool up the nipsy for a 'max thrust' blow out.

If there is some backfiring before the unload,so what,the main objective is to dump the load like a box of shoes out of an attic.

Ignore the 'Sweet jaysus' or Holy divine fuck' stuff from the adjoining pod and back out your links with pride.

A sure way to impress your fellow shítter is to bunt out a thick corny log from the 'hover'. Just sigh "Aaaaaah" as the cigar cutter nips it off and listen for the gasp of awe as she slam dunks into the water.

Got a round of applause for one in the UCD shitters last year.

Be not afraid:D

Legendary.
Buy that man a drink.
(of Guinness)

poppyvalley

kfallon wrote: »

!

As for the sheets of paper down in the toilet, that won't stop the noise of a renegade fart :pac:

Lol...Pull the cheeks of your arse apart and it wont be heard!

SoulTrader

AdMMM wrote: »

Had a horrible moment yesterday in work after dropping a wonderful hangover **** that blocked the toilet. Only then did I realise that it was actually yours truly that would have to unblock it the thing

It really is devastating when you discover that there is nobody but yours truly to manhandle your own crap. What kind of sick world do we live in?:pac:

mfceiling

Flutts on the button again.

You have to just grit the teeth and empty the baler without thought for man or child.

SoulTrader

Anyway, your understanding of the courtesy flush is different to mine. My courtesy flush is when I flush post-dump and pre-wipe to ensure that the odor source is well on its way to the coast, reducing the discomfort of myself and fellow bathroom-goers.

FlutterinBantam

SoulTrader wrote: »

Anyway, your understanding of the courtesy flush is different to mine. My courtesy flush is when I flush post-dump and pre-wipe to ensure that the odor source is well on its way to the coast, reducing the discomfort of myself and fellow bathroom-goers.

Indeed, indeed,had just dropped a particularly 'sour load' in the lavvies of the golf club, and was just letting the nipsy stop twitching, when two punters came in.

Heard a bit of a sniff and a "Phuuuutt .. someone better call a vet, there's a horse after dying in here'

Only pre-dump checks I take in public lavvies is check the 'cheeseboard 'on the front of the pot where you knob rests on.

Was in one last week and you could hide a €2 euro coin in the layer of cheese on the front rim.

Had to divert to another stall:mad: