I still really like this guy but hes's not ready for a relationship

LegacyUser

Hey everyone!

Can anyone please give me perspective on this or some bit of advice!

Basically Ill tell the full story...I was talking to this guy (a lot) on facebook for around 5 months (from February to june), friend of friends and also a friend of my brother...I always liked him but he was in a relationship with a girl at the time...anyway after the 5 months his girlfriend broke up with him after their one yr relationship and a few days later he started coming on to me, we then started seeing each other exclusively during the summer. He texted me everyday, chatted on facebook for hours and saw each other every week. We would spend hours together!

I knew he liked me a lot and we had a conversation one night where he told me he really liked me (even when we were talking on facebook) and that I wasn’t a rebound. We were about to head to different colleges too so a week later he brought up the word ‘relationship’...he said that he wasn’t sure how things would work while at different colleges and that he would love to see me everyday...we said we wouldn’t think about that and just let things happen as they happen. He even told my brother that he thought very highly of me and that he liked me a lot!

Anyway he started college and we texted all of that week. We were together the following weekend, he was being so nice to me, we had such a great night hanging around, being together and talking, I thought things were going really well. It was an amazing night just being with him! Anyway he went back to college and things were okay at the beginning of the week, but then he started becoming very dismissive in his messages. We met up that weekend and he ended things with me. It was a shock to me because I wasn’t expecting it at all! He was in a two and a half year relationship with another girl then went into that one year relationship, and he basically told me that he liked me enough to go into a relationship with me but at the time it wasn’t what he wanted. He said he was in two heavy relationships before hand. He basically said it was nothing against me and that it was just him. But I knew he still liked me a lot but to this day I still don’t know what changed. But because we were never in a relationship with each other we ended things on such a high and very intimately too.

Ive tried moving on from him, met different guys while at college, but Im still not over him even after these months. I haven’t seen him since the night he ended things. I still really like him a lot and because we were never in a relationship I sometimes think things could still happen. I know hes still single too, and Ill be seeing him over Christmas.

I seriously don’t know whats wrong with me, why do I still feel this way about him? I don’t feel negatively about it anymore and Ive accepted that that is what he wanted at the time, but what if he feels differently now? I don’t know what to do with myself, and Im annoyed with myself that I still feel this way about him and that I miss him. What am I suppose to do about this? Im still confused!

Really sorry if this post is a bit long and wishy washy and Im aware its not a major issue but I really need some word of wisdom and some perspective! Thank you!

LegacyUser

hi, op, i think he is now enjoying his college life, meeting different people, girls, having great fun... there are a lot of opportunities for him and he most likely does not want to miss out all the chances to explore this big new world. the reason for his change is he has started his college. he found out the fun to be in the college, esp. he is in the first year.

he might welcome some fun with you, but nothing more than that.

forget about him.

LegacyUser

Thank you very much for your reply! I suppose I know thats the one of the main reasons why he ended things. Ive experienced the first few months of college too now, met a number of guys, nothing serious, had fun, but I still cant help but think about him and move on. Tbh at this stage now I probably wouldnt be ready or want a relationship with him anyway, but why cant I get him out of my head? Ive only ever felt this way about one guy previously, but I ended up being really hurt from that and it couldnt work. Now hes the second guy I felt this way about. I thought I meant a lot to him but for him to 'drop' me like that was so hurtful. Im trying to forget about him but I feel I dont know what to do with myself...

midlandsmissus

You want what you can't have.

We're all the same in this aspect.,

Think do you really want him, or is it just the rejection that bites? We all have to suffer rejection, the best way to get over it is to keep busy.

If you want him back over Xmas, go out looking seriously hot, do NOT text him, and do your own thing and enjoy youself. He will be intrigued...

curlzy

Hey OP,

The grass is always greener and all that. You probably just remember him so fondly coz he broke up with you if you know what I mean. My advise is to throw yourself into having as much fun as possible. Don't waste your collge years pining over a guy that wants his freedom, leave him to it and get on with having fun. If you keep pining for him you won't meet anyone else and you could end up passing on someone who could be perfect for you. You will get over it but stop indulging thoughts of him, I mean for all you know you guys mightn't have even worked out, you could have found out he's a total tosser. He's still in your head because you split, amiacably, right in the middle of the lovely "getting to know you" part, I bet you a tenner he's not all you've built him up to be in your head.

Best of luck.