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seem to get a crush on guys who pay me any kind of attention

  • 19-12-2010 3:20am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    It's a bit hard to describe what exactly my problem is. I'm not shy exactly but definitely have long-time confidence and self-esteem issues, tend to get nervous or anxious at times etc.
    I am not in a relationship and haven't been for several years and not looking, been taking time out from it all for various reasons, and maybe by now it's got to a point where it's been too long.

    I just would like to hear others opinions on this as I've always been a bit this way and have not grown up really in this way as others have.
    I seem to develop crushes on guys who I shouldn't and this means I get nervous and shy around the person, can't make eye contact, and then worry that I'm totally transparent, and this makes me even more nervous or self-conscious.
    I am not realy like this with people I know or at least this is not what I aim to be like, it's like something just comes over me when I accidentally meet someone for example someone I am a customer of where it's normal to deal with in a business-like way. Recently I was referred to a doctor/specialist for a minor health issue, and the fact that he was so kind and seemed to care about me and ask me questions about myself or whatever really got to me, even though on a rational level I knew that he was just doing his job and saying all the things he would say to everyone else, on the emotional level I was going away looking forward to seeing him again and wondering did he find me attractive in any way. How can I snap out of this kind of mentality?


Comments

  • #2
    Lorrs33
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 690 ✭✭✭Lorrs33


    I used to be similar. Whenever I considered a guy cute I would suddenly find myself crushing on them and, like you, act nervous and shy around them. I'm with someone now and I don't get like that anymore, so maybe that could work for you. You should start dating again and I'm sure all these feelings will go away.


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    sily_me wrote: »
    How can I snap out of this kind of mentality?

    you can not without getting to the route cause of why you find these people so attractive.
    It could just be your sub conscious picking a partner for you :D giving you signals that now is a good time to find someone.
    Are any of your friends dating / seeing someone / getting married / having kids? .things like this can effect you without you realising


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