No confidence chatting up women

LegacyUser

ill go unregged for this one

As the title says i have no confidence in chatting up women as i have always had a fear of rejection, i am single at the minute and this is starting to really eat away at me as i have been single for a while now. I really want to get into a relationship but i am very conscious of how i am percieved by women and dont chatup any women unless the signals are really really clear to me that they are attracted to me first. And even then i find it hard to make the first move.

Do any women have any advice for me on this. I know its a confidence issue but i hate being rejected which doesnt help so i dont make the effort at all when im out which is sad i know.

Dick Burns

guest 1 wrote: »

ill go unregged for this one

As the title says i have no confidence in chatting up women as i have always had a fear of rejection, i am single at the minute and this is starting to really eat away at me as i have been single for a while now. I really want to get into a relationship but i am very conscious of how i am percieved by women and dont chatup any women unless the signals are really really clear to me that they are attracted to me first. And even then i find it hard to make the first move.

Do any women have any advice for me on this. I know its a confidence issue but i hate being rejected which doesnt help so i dont make the effort at all when im out which is sad i know.

OMG when i was reading this it was like did i wrtie this and forget?in the same boat as you man would be great to get advice!!!

tooler7

Op what i would suggest would be The Game by Neil Strauss

Did me a world of good!!!

LegacyUser

Op what i would suggest would be The Game by Neil Strauss

Did me a world of good!!!

Haaaa!!! about 90% of women out there know about that "game" crap and we know when a guy is using it! this is the worst advice ever OP, you'll look like a fool, it's pathetic when a guy uses this crap! I remember one guy tried it on me one time, the whole watching a film, getting a blanket etc etc, it was so cringe worthy i made my excuses and left!

The other 10%? trust me if they're stupid enough to fall for it, they're not the kind of woman you want to date, i presume you're looking for a relationship with a woman who's not as thick as a plank!

LegacyUser

you have to believe that you can do these things. sounds ridiculous but if you believe in your own abilities the results are quite remarkable.

women will value confidence, however if he makes an effort a genuine attempt to start a conversation then (unless she is a total bitch) she will pay attention.
some may think it quite cute...the whole awkwardness/ mumbling thing.

my advice...a) get to know girl on a friend level maybe?
b) relax dont take it so seriously. just because she says no to coffee/a drink does not always mean automatic rejection. may just be busy or something?
c) patience.....these things take time..the worst a girl is gonna say is no. in which case fine. take it as a learning experience and move on. it is not a personal assault on your self esteem if the girl isnt interested. she has her reasons.

you will encounter bitches...cold hearted and impatient...you will encounter the very shy timid and quiet girls...you will encounter the overtly flirty girls who dont dstop chatting....all types good and bad...you gotta find the one thats right for you and get to understand them as a friend and maybe partner.

best of luck

gerryk

You know, if I could go back and give some advice to 16 or 18 year old me, I'd tell me not to be so hung up on fear of rejection. It happens less than you imagine, and you're better off at least giving it a shot than hiding in the corner worrying about it.
Had I known this back then I would probably have been way more confident as a young adult... as it is, I learned much later on, and then proceeded to get much more female attention than I had in the past.

tooler7

the-game-is-for-sad-losers wrote: »

Haaaa!!! about 90% of women out there know about that "game" crap and we know when a guy is using it! this is the worst advice ever OP, you'll look like a fool, it's pathetic when a guy uses this crap! I remember one guy tried it on me one time, the whole watching a film, getting a blanket etc etc, it was so cringe worthy i made my excuses and left!

The other 10%? trust me if they're stupid enough to fall for it, they're not the kind of woman you want to date, i presume you're looking for a relationship with a woman who's not as thick as a plank!

While some of things in the book i do not agree with the op says he has a problem with confidence and the book does help with that as it has me. And thats your experience op but dont dismiss it just because of that im just telling the op my experience and it does help raising your confidence

LegacyUser

While some of things in the book i do not agree with the op says he has a problem with confidence and the book does help with that as it has me. And thats your experience op but dont dismiss it just because of that im just telling the op my experience and it does help raising your confidence

I really want to get into a relationship but i am very conscious of how i am percieved by women

There's raising your confidence in a positive way and raising your confidence by using tricks and mind games, the latter is something which will not benefit the OP in the long term.

He says he's conscious of how he's perceived by women, following PUA non sense is going to make him seem as - to put it bluntly - a creepy letch by women.

He wanted female advice, so from a female point of view, i actively avoid these type of men and wouldn't give him the time of day, and so would most of the women i know.

Op everyone is afraid of rejection men and women, i'm an attractive late 20's woman and i've been rejected on loads of occasions, but the more you approach people the easier it gets. Most women will admire the fact that a guy had the balls to come over and chat to them, the ones that don't aren't worth your time and if they're rude about it it says more about them than you. Just please please don't go down the route of using 'tricks' to try and lure women, the best way is to just be yourself, there's nothing wrong with a guy who's a little awkward or shy when approaching a woman in fact it can be very very endearing, it makes a lovely change from the over confident players which are rife.

All the best OP