A lad who can't use urinals

LegacyUser

Think I saw a thread on this during the summer but searched and can't find it.

For as long as I can remember, going back to infants in primary school, I just could not urinate at a urinal. Has to be a cubicle.
Now I suppose I could when I'm half drunk in the pub or maybe in a room all to the myself

But if someone is there or even if someone enters the room, I "clam up" so to speak.
As you can imagine, going to a nightclub and waiting for a cubicle does takes time.

It's not an issue of me being afraid of being seen, like I shower down the gym or play soccer with the lads during the week.

I just cannot use a urinal in someone's prescence, I've some mental block somewhere. And tbh, the harder I'd try "to get the flow going" the harder it would be.
Can you imagine seeing someone standing at a urinal, doing nothing and walking away? I'd say they are left wondering what's going on

Don't get me started on those cattle troughs they have in some places, nightmare!!!

D-Generate

Someone could be rubbing one out next to me and I wouldn't know. Jesus it's not like anyone looks down to scope out the situation....

dudara

From what I've heard from lads, this isn't all that uncommon at all. So you're not alone there. However, I have no tips to offer on how to deal with it, so hopefully one of the guys can help you out.

alex73

Its more common than you think, just use the loo

sollar

Just continue to use the cubicle, nobody is noticing that your waiting outside the cubicle for the 3rd time in a night, you might think they notice bit they won't give a crap (excuse the pun).
Also, some people are just able to pee quicker than others. I always use the cubicle, less chance of getting splashed too.

cafecolour

Shy bladder/stage fright/pee shyness is not uncommon at all It's official name would be paruresis:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paruresis

And there's even a organization with support groups and like for it (though it appears US based):

http://www.paruresis.org/


AFAIK the only major/recommended cure is essentially to get a friend to 'practice' with you. I.e. first you urinate with you in the bathroom and him/her in the flat (but knowing you're going to go). The the mate outside the door. The door the cracked. Then the mate in the bathroom with you, etc.

Of course, telling a friend you have this problem and convincing them to help you cure it as above is a bit of a daunting problem in itself (thus support groups).

star-pants

Cafecolour has the idea I think - regarding support groups or having a friend help you climatise to there being someone nearby.

I'm female so the matter is different for me as I'd always be in a cubicle anyway. But I find it hard to go in public bathrooms, or even in someone's house/apartment if it's very quiet. I don't like the idea that someone could hear me wee. If someone goes into a cubicle beside me I sometimes can't go til they start going or sometimes until they leave. If someone starts talking to me when I'm in the bathroom I either stop if I'm going, or can't go at all. Even at home it's still sometimes not always easy.

I've found that in some situations I try and distract myself/zone out from the current situation and try to relax to go. Sometimes (sounds silly but works for me, obviously wouldn't work if you're standing at a urinal!) I make circles on the open palm of one hand with the other. Not saying that would work for everyone, but I mean I found something that is slightly distracting from your surroundings, but also gives you something to focus on.

I'd say for your case, the idea of going with someone nearby, then having the door open and then maybe them talking to you from outside the door / being in the same room would be a good idea if it were possible. As said, it's probably a fairly common thing.

strokemyclover

Blow on it!

It 100% works for me if I get stage fright which does happen in the situations you described OP!

Relax, blow out and it will happen

kjl

Hi OP,

I suffer from this too, but to be honest I just make a joke of it, sometimes I announce to people that I get a bit of stage fright and everybody has a good laugh. It's not big deal, you are just making it one.

Diabhal Beag

Happens to me when somebody goes for a piss right next to me. Hate that more than anything in the world.

A cubicle is always a good option.

Yitzhak Rabin

I find trying to do long division in my head helps if I ever get stage fright.

metrovelvet

I could never understand why men were not afforded the same privacy as women and are expected to pee in public. I dont think you should feel bad. Its normal not to want to pee in front of other people.

MitchKoobski

Hey OP I've been the same for years. I don't think its a phobia or a fear, I just prefer a cubicle. The idea of pissing into one large trough or urinals with a bunch of other people lined up next to me and waiting behind me just isnt that appealing even if I'm dying for a piss.

unreggd

strokemyclover wrote: »

Relax, blow out and it will happen

Yes, blowin urself at a cubicle will relieve the social stress :P

Denerick

I have this 'condition'. I have refused to piss in a urinal ever since an encounter with a drunk bogman and some 'excess capacity'. Never again. Ugh.

dsmythy

All I can offer you is to hold off your visit to the toilet as long as possible so you have no choice but to let it all out in comfort.

LegacyUser

Hey dude,

was the exact same for years, especially when I'm in a pub and I'm sober and the lads are all messy and want to chat to you. This one time this guy was talking to me about how he scored some 'fat bird' but he didn't care because she gave great head.. God I hate people.. Anyway, that mindless pee-banter always grinded my gears! I would get up to the urinal and have the same feelings - shortness of breath a bit, trouble concentrating, can't pee etc. Eventually, I started going into cubicles. Then I would leave the cubicle door wide open, then I eventually made it back to the urinal. I usually say old prayers I learned in primary school over and over as a distraction. Doing sums, like someone else suggested, would work too!

Just realise it's very common and you've nothing to be anxious about. If you thought of the worst case scenario in that situation it would be not being able to pee and failing and walking away. No one would comment on it. That in itself should make you feel better.

R