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i think i'm in love with my friend

  • 17-12-2010 10:37pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    hi...i don't know what to do. i'm so confused. i'm a female lady who has never been in a relationship with a guy except when i was a teenager briefly so i don't see it as majorly significant. i was a virgin up until over a year ago whereby i practically forced myself to have sex with him which was fine. i always since i was a kid imagined myself with a man eventually...always always i'm adament. i adore boys, their bodies, shoulders, backs, arms the works including male company which i just cherish. i've surrounded myself with male company and i'm very comfortable with men. in the past i find guys are not attracted to me the way that my friends attract people..they keep away from me because i have this wall which i dont see but they see,well that;s my conclusion.
    But now, i've known a girl for the last three years through a mutual friend and we have become so close, it's insane. i mean, i'm spinning. We get on so well, she has said that i'm the closest thing to her on the planet and i believe this, i feel the same. Our friends and relations have noticed this also, i stay with her most weekends,hhave such a laugh i don;t say to anyone i'm there because i know they would think it a bit odd becasue it is out of character for me, I'm a strong lady with a difficult past, i lost two brothers and my dad when i was younger. So i think that's where my difficulty regarding intimacy comes from. I've done my research on the internet. i have not gone to councelling about any of this. i want to be intimate with a bloke but it just has not happened,i'm almost 31. I'm so frustrated. I consider myself relatively good looking girl, sociable and love chatting to people, yet I have never been in love, never been loved iin that way and i feel hard done by. Now i want to see this girl naked and have sex with her even though I have never done that before. Am i filling a void or what? This girl is a hundred per cent straight, have been in many relationships in the past. i know nothing will happen between us and i don't want to ultimately but the effect this person has had on my life is just so surprising. I would do anything for her. it feels like i'm in love.....but i've never had that so i don't know.....i wish i could just jump on a plane and get away from this becasue i feel it is stalling my dream of meeting a dreamy guy and happiness with him.i just don't know what's going on.any suggestions would be great.honest as you like.thanks


Comments

  • #2
    tenchi-fan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,339 ✭✭✭tenchi-fan


    It sounds like you're a lesbian.

    There's no point in starting a debate about nature versus nurture. You seem to think events in your past caused you to have sexual feelings towards this woman. However, many people who have not had traumatic events in their childhood are also gay.

    I think for now the key is just to be comfortable with who you are.

    As for your relationship with your friend.. if she's straight, unfortunately it's not going anywhere. Don't do anything that would jeopardise your friendship with her and don't expect more from her than she is able to provide. Accept her friendship without expecting a sexual relationship.


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