Boarding School

Kunle

Hi, i was just wondering if anybody here has their children in boarding school or is considering boarding school for their children?

Moonbeam

I went myself.
Any particular schools or questions?

Kunle

Moonbeam wrote: »

I went myself.
Any particular schools or questions?

My partner is very keen to send her daughter next september,money is very tight but she is saving every week to do this because she went to boarding school herself so she wants her daughter to experence the same thing she did. I dont get it myself, i dont know why she thinks boarding school is such a good idea.

PopUp

Your partner can probably give you a better insight than we could. Just ask her about her memories and experiences. They must have been good if she's so keen on this for her daughter too!

I didn't attend boarding school but my cousins do, a lot of friends I went to university with did, and my best friend left our school in Transition Year to go to boarding school (her parents were emigrating but wanted her to do the LC in Ireland). The vast majority had happy experiences, and I'd say it's split about 50-50 between those who want their own children to go and those who don't.

Personally I think it's completely up to the individual parents and child. Some people will thrive at boarding school and some won't.

Supposedly Harry Potter has made kids very keen on it!

mylittlepony

I went to boarding school at secondary level. Worth it + Loved it.
Of course 1st few weeks homesick then really settle in and enjoyed the experiecne.
Friends different counties, good structure, routine, responsbilties and independence.
Wish didnt have to bring the dirty clothes home, should have been a landry/utiltiy room in each unit. same for books no homework wkends.

Best to give the child a trial period to see what its like.
Whats best for ur wife may not suit daughter.

up for anything

I went myself and if I could have afforded it would have sent/send my children. Some dire times but mostly wonderful memories that over-ride those.

Grawns

My niece started in September and after weeks of crying her eyes out she loves it. She loves action though and it wouldn't suit all children.

She will have an extended childhood and despite only being of average intellect ( she has to work harder than most) she will most likely end up in university as the school will get her there. Thumbs up so far.

illiop

up for anything wrote: »

I went myself and if I could have afforded it would have sent/send my children. Some dire times but mostly wonderful memories that over-ride those.

I went and these are my sentiments exactly. "Education" wise is wasn't much of an advantage except for compulsory study that I wouldn't have had at home but I learned so much there, life-experience wise.

There were times when I hated it but I would give anything to go back there now.

The one downside I can think of though is that I now find it hard to be in an unstructured environment; I like to have a time table. But that's not really a bad thing.

The Cool

^^ I'm very much the same illiop.
Spent 6 years at boarding school in Donegal. There were some hard times - I was bullied by a girl in my dorm for the first three years until she got expelled - but inevitably there is going to be friction now and again when you've got X amount of teenagers growing up under the same roof, with many different personalities, backgrounds etc. To be honest, I find that those parts of it have given me great experience, I'm great at dealing with conflict and stuff, and came to university with more a realistic idea of what it meant to be a flatmate, than the others that I lived with.
When I think back on my 6 years as a boarder I remember all the best bits: playing pranks on younger girls' dorms; being caught mucking about in the dorms after lights out and being put on punishment, which ranged from being put on dishes duty to getting up at 7am to do all the chores, but it was all great craic cos there were loads of us; and essentially spending my adolescence living with 4 other girls who felt like sisters to me.

ztoical

Both my brother and I went to boarding schools though very different schools. I was a day student from 1st year through Junior cert which means I did everything bar stay overnight. The school wasn't far from our home so my dad would pick me up at 930 each evening. I got my diner and tea in the school and study time plus a locker to leave all my books and stuff for class the next day. For the last two years I went in as a full boarder though it was a 5 day boarding school so we went home friday after school and back in either sunday evening or monday morning depending on how far you'd to travel. The majority of students at my school were day students with only a small number being full boarders while my brothers school was nearly 100% full boarders.

My brother went to a different school which was a good distance away and you only got to go out one weekend a month. He enjoyed his time more then I as he is still in touch with both students and teachers from his school and his school had far more after school activities and options for the students so I feel he got a more rounded education. If it's an option consider sending your child as a day pupil to start as it will be cheaper and can give them and you a taste of boarding school.

Moonbeam

It depends on the kid and the school.
Posh schools for normal kids can be an awful experience.
There are lots of advantages,study,having friends around,after school activities but there is also a lot of bitchiness.

From my experience all girls boarding schools are the worst and mixed and boys seem to be a lot easier to handle and do well in.

The Corinthian

I went to boarding school and would recommend it myself, but only once the child is a certain age - essentially for the last two or three years prior to the LC.

Naturally different schools have different dynamics and result in different experiences.

syklops

I went myself, and while I far from loved it(who did love school anyway?) I would definitely send my kids, and if given the choice would do it all again. I was a weekly boarder, so I went home every weekend. It was difficult getting settled in, but the rhythm was great and as a person who was never very good at doing homework, the structure helped a lot, as there is a set time to do it in.

Educationally, I don't know if it helped. I never went to college, but that was my choice anyway(something I now sometimes regret), but from a life skills point of view, I could not recommend it highly enough. From the age of 14 I could pack a case for travelling anywhere in the world in less than ten minutes with everything I need. I have friends at 25 who still cant do that.

Speedsie

I went to two different boarding schools myself. The first one was all-girls, and the atmosphere was extremely bitchy. Also, it was mainly day pupils (only 8 boarders in my year out of 60+ girls) and there wasn't much to do after school.

I really disliked it, and after second year, my parents took me out & I went to a mixed boarding school. It was majority boarding - 95% or so, and full of activities all day. It was a full boarding school (only went home on Sunday for a few hours) and I loved it.

I learnt so many life skills at the second school, everything from cooking to motor mechanics to pottery to computer skills to gardening .. as well as all the esoteric lectures we had on a Sunday evening.

I'm still in contact with people from the second school - and even if we haven't seen each other for years it's like we haven't parted at all!

Friends all over the world is one side benefit of boarding school.

But boarding school doesn't suit everyone, and not all boarding schools are the same, I think if it's possible to speak to students currently in the school you are looking at it would be a good idea.

Speeds

metrovelvet

My father went to boarding school in Ireland. He used to talk about getting peppermint oil rub downs on the nether regions by the monks. And no this was not some dumping ground for poor boys.

syklops

metrovelvet wrote: »

My father went to boarding school in Ireland. He used to talk about getting peppermint oil rub downs on the nether regions by the monks. And no this was not some dumping ground for poor boys.

Metrovelvet, I think you will agree Ireland has changed an awful lot since your Father was in school. Boarding school is not like Enid Blyton books anymore, and a very small number of them are still run by the clergy. I tried looking up hard numbers, but was not able to find any, but when I was in school over a decade ago, the number of religious run Boarding schools was dwindling quickly, I could be wrong but it may even be in the single digits at this stage though I am open to correction.

whydoibother?

I was a day pupil in a school that also did boarding. We began with a regular school day, then sports in the late afternoon, then supervised study. Then at about 8pm day pupils go home, the boarders are given a break and I believe they had roughly an extra hour of study after that before bed.

It's certainly very structured if you've got a child that needs structure. Personally I think I could have done with a little more freedom, but I wasn't unhappy there.

It's true that boarding schools and private schools generally make up more of the top feeder schools for universities, but I would be wary of assuming that this is down to supervised study. It is very possible to daydream your way through a 2 and a half hour study period, while looking busy with a book in front of you. I was quite expert at it! I would say what leads to the high university numbers is that all the kids in the school come from homes where education is valued (or otherwise the parents wouldn't be spending so much on it) and as a result there is a culture where it's almost cool to be good academically. Of course there are many highly intelligent and successful people who have never set foot in a boarding school and many excellent schools which are not boarding schools. The popular explanation for why people pay for education that is available free is that in these schools, they are paying for after school sports, study and meals because these are legitimate things to charge for, but since you're asking what's so special about boarding schools you've probably worked out that you could do a lot of that for your child yourself. The more uncomfortable truth is that there's another factor. They want their children to mix with the "right crowd". People prefer not to mention that one. If you've got a particularly impressionable child and the local free school is not so great on discipline, you can see how it's seen as a "safer" environment. Because of the people I've met, I'm firmly of the view that a child with a strong character and motivation will do well anywhere.

I'll add that there was very little bullying in the school I attended. I think staff felt obliged to crack down hard. People don't pay for long for their child to be bullied. I know that some of my quieter peers may have been sent there for that reason. The protective environment allowed them to blossom.

I did on the other hand find a lot of confidence/arrogance in the school I went to, much more than the average number of big-headed twats in the general population. I think this too is a risk when a lot of the kids come from highly successful homes. I honestly believed many of my classmates had such an inflated sense of their own ability that they were sure to crash and burn when they hit the real world. So far I've been totally wrong. The stories of over-achievement baffle me ... well, not completely. I believe the old boys network is alive and well. Though some might consider that a plus - a place to mae connections. :rolleyes:

I do think the quality of the teaching is generally of a very high standard. Teachers want to be in these schools with motivated kids from interested families and so there is good competition for posts.

I'm sorry I haven't given a clear argument for or against. The truth is I don't know where I would send my own kids. I've just tried to throw out a few honest thoughts that you can think about.

Napoleon111

Not sure if anyone is still reading this thread, but thought i would like to share something!
I went to boarding school from the age of 8 (just turned 8 when i started), and then i started secondary school at 12 boarding aswell, 7 days a week (with the option of going home on a sunday for 8/9 hours, or into town when we were older!)
When i first went at a young age to what i thought then was a prison, I was convinced that it was because my parents didn't love me!
However, its only after everything now that I look back and I think, it was actually because they loved me (never proven though lol!)
I wouldnt change anything, even though for some people 7/8 may be too young.
I think it really really depends on the type of child, i think ones in my year and above and below, you could see the ones who really got the most out of it were the more extroverted ones, who were independent, and who liked to challenge the establishment so to speak!
My highlights of boarding school?
Sneaking into the girls dormitory, horrible breakfasts, great dinner ladies, playing hockey, cricket, rugby, football, basketball, tennis, we had a swimming pool in the summer (outdoors and always dirty, but we didnt mind!), we went on rugby trips to canada, scotland, england, and wales, we had a cricket trip to south africa and played in an international stadium, we had hockey trips to england and scotland (and not the booze fuelled type college students go on!!), meeting and making friends with people from so many different and diverse backgrounds (even to this day i have friends from school who i visit from dubai, kenya, hong kong, mexico, sri lanka etc etc)
However, I think it very much depends on your kid, and dont be afraid to ask them what they would like to do, and what they think, maybe give them the option, let them choose a place, and then sit down with them and talk about it and see if you both think its suitable?
Dont forget the cost of boarding schools, some of them can be very very expensive (20k+ per year).
All the best with your decisions,
Rgds
Nap

Greystoner

I went. Us kids were divided into either love it or hate it, no real in-betweens. I loved the MIXED boarding school, it did have bad moments, but these moments made me stronger, more independent and it was a good, positive experience.

My very closet friends I made there are still my best friends, we regard each other as 'sisters'; we grew up as teenagers at school and went through all the hormones, being away from home,falling out, teen angst etc together. In my case, friendships made at boarding schools can be stronger than 'fair weather', because you learn to live together with strangers so young, you learn to rely on each other, but be independent at the same time.

I also went to a convent (all girl) boarding unit for 6th form, bloody hideous experience, on many different levels.

Mixed is the way to go I reckon!

Also, not all boarding schools are fee paying, or snobby.

byhookorbycrook

I've never heard of a non-fee paying boarding school

Greystoner

Yup, they do exist! But maybe not over here. Both my (UK) boarding schools were non-fee, under the State school system. Also all the other schools we had matches against etc were non-fee paying. We had children from other countries there too.

My brothers went to Private boarding school, but they were entitled to 'assisted places' (huge discount of the fees) at the schools discretion due to coming from a one-parent family. Scholarships are also available in private schools and I believe that applies over here too.

It depends on the sort of boarding people are looking for I guess; depends on what the school offers, weekly boarding (go home every weekend) which may be more suitable over here, or as I had; you have a 'leave weekend/ exeat every 3/4/5 weeks to go home, which would work better for a child commuting to and forth Eire to UK.

up for anything

metrovelvet wrote: »

My father went to boarding school in Ireland. He used to talk about getting peppermint oil rub downs on the nether regions by the monks. And no this was not some dumping ground for poor boys.

Has he or anyone who ever experienced this abuse brought it to the attention of the present authorities if the school is still in existence? Monks narrows it down a bit - Glenstal or Roscrea are the only two I can think of.

kevin99

My mother and father both attended boarding schools and so did I and my bros and sisters.

I went to a boarding school in the country for six years. While it was a great life experience, it was very tough. And the bros were very strict and didn't hesitate to use the strap.

I wouldn't send my children to boarding school unless they were keen on the idea.

Children grow up very quickly and with them in boarding school parents miss out on the day to day contact with them.

As for getting a good education there are plenty of excellent secondary public schools providing pupils with that.

I remember as a 5th year pupil walking in pairs to the local town on a Sunday morning after mass where we were allowed buy something in the local shops. We weren't allowed buy tabloid newspapers!!
A walk in the park followed.
Oh and we had to wear our uniforms.
If it was overcast we carried our gabardine raincoats on our arms and put them on if it started raining. Each boy up to leaving cert had to wear wellington boots on these walks if there was inclement weather.

It was like an army barracks. And one thing I remember to this day is that we didn't have to think for ourselves. Everything was per timetable from the moment we got up to the time we went to bed.

It took me a long time afterwards to learn to fend for myself.

So, I would suggest that you give very careful consideration to sending away your child.

Dickie10

there is and maybe now was a big difference in the type of boarding scool in ireland there there the big dublin 4 type rugby svhools such as clongowes, blackrock, glenstal abbey and then you had lower middle class and farmers sons type boarding schools these were GAA strongholds like st mels, st jarlaths, moate, st fenians, st kierans, cistercian roscrea.

I think the idea of mixed schools is great for quiter people, i went to boarding school from 1st to 3rd year and didnt really like it. i think i probarbly would have been better off going to an ordinary school until junior cert and going to boarding then as i would have had great craic because i would have been wise to the world and probarbly would be very popular, jack the lad type. instead i was bullied a good bit and tried to keep my head down and see oout the three years.

when i got to mixed day school i thrived socially i made a huge amount of friends that lived locally and became hugely popular with everyone in school, this was a huge thing for me personally and im not quite sure how it even happened but i suspect it may have been something to do with the fact that i had relations who were well known around the local town and were very popular as outgoing, fun, boy racer cool type people, that the other students in the school just assumed i was pretty cool too. So with that i got attention from the cool lads and girls in the school.

i was also good friends with the two hard men of the school, these lads were neighbours of mine and gaa teammates and once they said i was sound it was like i had it all! one thing i found was that if your happy in your environment you will thrive academically which i did. i found that the girls in a mixed school calm down the fellas or lads that might bully people. in the all boys boarding school there were rows and bullying all the time but in my local mixed school, which was a convent, so large proportion of girls, there was avery peaceful, laid back attitude, no bullying or rows much. lads were more interested in acting nice and cool in front of the women! it was abit like a hippie commune, peace , love and hash!

overall i think mixed schools are very healhy for young people espically males at that age they learn to live with and respect girls a lot more. very good environment for quiter people too, as girls can be very supportive to lads who are more quiet or going through a hard time. i still have a great time with the friends i made in my local secondary school now 10 years on. i actuallt have no contact with anyone in the first boarding school.

Orion

Don't bump 4 year old threads please. The OP is sitebanned so has no right to reply and I'm sure after 4 years they're sorted now anyway.