ex's belongings

LegacyUser

Hey folks,

Question about the ex.....

I found a couple of boxes of my ex's belongings, photos and other personal stuff she'd probably want back, in the attic the other day and i'm wondering what to do......

Last time we spoke about 6 weeks ago and we said we'd maybe hook up as friends some time. She has a new number which i didn't ask for (if she wanted me to have it she'd have given it to me). So i suggested she email me when she wanted to do it but, alas, no word since then, ball is firmly in her court until/if she decides to throw it back. I'm just wondering how i can get the stuff back to her without it looking like i'm desperate to see her....

When she broke up with me in march i kinda took it very badly and did all the cringy ex things so i really don't want it to seem like i'm trying anything, if you know what i mean??

i will probably end up contacting her about it but not til after the new year at the earliest....

cheers in advance

LegacyUser

Thanks for the reply,

I definitely DON'T want to get back with her! I'm just over thinking the situation, meaning i don't want to appear like i'm trying to get back with her. I know she has moved on, she did that before we broke up and i've had plenty of time to get used to it, so it's not an issue anymore.

I doubt she'd remember about the stuff, it's been up in the attic for about 3 years but i know she'd want it back. I'm not in touch with any of her friends so that's a non-starter.

The reason i won't be doing it til the new year is i'm in the middle of university exams, then over christmas i'll have my son staying with me.....it is really about it not being convenient for me to get the stuff to her before then.

I'd like to think she'd do the same for me if the situation was reversed, i'm just looking for advice on how to approach the situation is all

cheers though

star-pants

Aye, I wouldn't get in contact if she's not tried to with you.
If you can drop her stuff off to a friends or somewhere she can get it, without you having to bump into her. I assume she would like her stuff back but maybe doesn't want to contact you given you took things badly and she doesn't want to give you hope.
I've dropped ex's stuff off before, left them at his works' reception so he didn't have to see me as I'd no mutual person to give them to/other way of returning them. But if there's a friend you could give them to, to pass on to her then that'd be a good way.

Miss Fluff

I'd be concerned too that there may just be a teensy ulterior motive to meeting up and giving her her stuff back.

You've obviously made great strides in getting over so I wouldn't even contact her. Put it in your car and arrange to leave it in one of her friend's houses, that's the best for all concerned while also sending out a great message to her that given the chance to contact her with a legitimate reason to, you chose not to.

You'll feel great if you follow this advice, honestly.

Kiera

I'd just get rid of them. If she wanted them she'd have gotten in contact to get them. No point hanging on to them. A couple of my ex's have my stuff and tbh i'd rather they fecked them out as i dont need/miss them.

cafecolour

Leave them with a mutual friend.

keithclancy

I made reasonable attempts to get my EX to pick her stuff up as I didnt want to have anything to do with her, she seemed to have this idea in her head that I owed her something.

In the end I said 'You need to pickup your stuff today' shes said it wasnt suitable again, so I stopped by her place on a Saturday morning on the way to Dublin, rang when I was outside and asked her if she was at home.

She said yes.

I said good, because your stuff is outside your front door in a box, then left, drove to Dublin to meet a mate and didnt talk to her anymore after that.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies....

1st I'm not gonna throw her stuff in the bin.... that seems a bit childish TBH.... I think we can sort it out rationally! plus i'd go mad if she did it with my stuff

2nd I don't really talk to or see any of her mates.... and the ones i do talk to live miles away from her so it would be difficult for her to get the stuff, not my problem i suppose

3rd I don't have her number so i can't do what Kieth did....

I've already thought of the majority of the suggestions, but thanks for them all the same!

Cheers

LegacyUser

hi, op, just contact her and arrange to meet up for a cup of coffee and gives all the thing to her after new year.

be prepared to hear a 'no' from her.

enjoy your life. dont think too much about how people think here and how she thinks about you. do what you like to do (if its no harm). and meet people, enjoy your Christmas.

LegacyUser

An Post is your friend - you'd know her home address since you dated her for at least 3 years if that stuff you have is 3 years old.

LegacyUser

Hey,

Thanks again,

Ticarn 111 - i think you're right just bite the bullet, ring and see if she'll meet me and let me get the stuff back to her

Sunflower - getting a bit wound up? i don't reckon i'm trying to sell you anything so no need to "buy it" .... i'm just not on talking terms with any of her friends that she sees - or have any way of contacting them

cheers for the replies folks....